She knew he was leaving again. He hadn't said anything to anyone, especially her. But she knew. Could sense him pulling away from everyone. Not that he was close to anyone, per se.
Except for maybe her.
Not that it mattered. Even if she and Logan shared any kind of a bond (which she still foolishly clung to that they did -- he had promised to take care of her), he was still leaving. Again. And it wasn't like she could physically stop him, not without hurting him and anyway, he was too strong for a twenty year old girl... woman... whatever she was to stop him.
She snorted inelegantly as she paced in the darkened hallway. It didn't matter, really. Her feelings, him leaving, none of it. It wasn't like they stood a chance, even if he did return her feelings, even just the tiniest bit. She could never have a normal relationship. Could never touch or stroke or kiss the man she loved. Could never get married or have children. She was still struggling with it all; life was cruel to have taken away such a basic thing as human contact from someone so young.
But if Logan had taught her anything, it was that she was stronger and more resilient than even she knew.
She fingered the white strands in her hair and remembered. Remembered and paced and chewed her lip. And waited. She knew he was leaving tonight, by the light of the moon and under the cover of darkness. She couldn't explain how she knew... Well, that was a lie. She knew Logan, better than anyone and even though she knew that part of that had to be because of absorbing his powers more than once but also because. She just did. Which was actually something she couldn't explain. And was, to be honest, something she wasn't sure she wanted to try and explain to anyone, even herself.
She heard movement to her left and stopped her pacing, not sure why exactly she was waiting for Logan, why it mattered so to her that he stayed. Had no idea what to say. But as his dark form materialized outside his door and started moving towards her, all she knew was that she couldn't move.
He stopped about two feet from where she stood, silhouetted by the window, the moonlight making her skin appear translucent. He heaved his bag up higher on his shoulder and waited, apparently, for her to speak.
Rogue opened her mouth and, still not sure what it was she was trying to accomplish, words just came tumbling out.
"So were you going to leave without saying goodbye? This is really starting to become a had habit, Logan."
He shifted, his gaze lowering to the floor before his eyes met hers. Guiltily.
"I wouldn't have just left without-"
Marie silenced him with a sharp wave of her gloved hand.
"Come off it, Logan. We both know you were leaving and you weren't going to say anything to anyone. Least of all me."
He moved closer and she involuntarily shivered, her hands aching to reach out and hold onto him.
"I wasn't just leaving, Marie," she shivered again at his use of her name -- he hardly ever called her that anymore, "I, uh. I left you a note. On my nightstand."
She looked up from the patch of moonlight she had been concentrating on and stared incredulously at the mighty Wolverine stuttering and... Wait. What?
"A note? A NOTE, Logan?" She could feel her blood pressure rising as fast as her voice was and suddenly didn't care who heard or saw them. "You're leaving, AGAIN, probably forever and you leave me a NOTE? You promise to always take care of me and then, you leave. Oh, yeah. Sure. You came back the first time but whose to say you will again? Huh? And, really," she was pacing back and forth again by this time, arms crossed as Logan just watched bewildered. "Why are you even bothering to leave me a note? It's not like I'm your precious Jean or anything. You obviously don't take your promise to take care of me seriously anymore and you don't owe me anything other than that so why bother? Tell me, Logan..." Her voice cracked as she stopped directly in front of him and her tear-glazed eyes met his stunned ones. "Why?"
He scrubbed his hands down over his face, taking a deep breath and inhaling before looking at her.
"You want to know, Marie?" He took what she assumed was intended to be a menacing step forward but she wasn't afraid of him. Never had been and he knew it. "You really want to know why?"
She shook with barely contained frustration as she answered.
"Yes, damn you! YES!"
He bared his teeth and grabbed her hard by her shoulders, shaking her as he talked, the words suddenly spilling out of the normally stoic man.
"I'm leaving to protect you, dammit. Marie, I can't stay her anymore and be around you and not be able to, to... be with you. It's not right and nothing could ever come of it. It doesn't matter how you feel or how I feel. And, yes, I will admit that I may have had feelings for Jean but they are nothing, nothing compared to how I feel about you. I've watched you grow into a beautiful, amazing woman and..." His eyes lost focus for a minute but she could sense him mentally shaking himself and he continued, "Things are the way they are and we just have to learn how to deal. It's the best, me leaving."
He suddenly dropped his hands and turned away from her, as she stood there, stunned. Her brain took a moment to process his confession and then, Rogue's ire was back up.
Her gloved fists pounded into his shoulders and he turned, surprise and shock evident on his face.
"TO PROTECT ME??? TO PROTECT ME??? You mean to tell me you have feelings for me and because you do, you're leaving? What kind of bullshit is this, Wolverine? Hunh? In case you hadn't noticed, but I'm in love with you. Damn you, I LOVE YOU. I don't care about Jean or Bobby or my goddamn power -- All I care about is you!" She was suddenly crying and her fists were now being held in his hands, his fingers slowly stroking her knuckles. She continued, her voice gone soft and tremulous, "I've seen you die twice. I've watched you walk away from me. I've seen you mourn Jean. I can't... Logan. I c-can't.."
She started to sob, her chest heaving and he pulled her closer, stroking her hair.
"Shh, Marie... Shhh. You can. Whatever you want to do, I know you can."
She looked up at him, the tears on her cheeks making silver trails in he moonlight.
"I want to kiss you, Logan. I want you to stay. But," She extricated herself from him and crossed her arms across her chest. "What are the chances of those things happening?"
Logan stood there, watching her, not sure how to answer her. Having no idea what to say. Telling her he wanted the same things wouldn't help and it wasn't like they could happen. They could never be together... For so many other reasons beyond Jean, Rogue's power... He tried to explain...
"Rogue, even if we could be together, what do I have to offer you? I know next to nothing about my past. I'm certainly too old for you." He spread his hands in a plaintive gesture and said again, in soft voice, one she'd never heard him use before, "I have nothing to offer you, Marie."
She set her lips in a grim line as she considered what he said. A moment later, she uncrossed her arms and took two steps towards him.
"I don't care about what you do or don't have to offer me, Logan. All I want is you. You're all I ever wanted."
She touched his face with her gloved palm and his tortured eyes slid shut as he nuzzled her palm, placing a soft kiss in the center. He opened his eyes a minute later and met her gaze.
"That's what I was afraid of, kid. And why I have to leave. Knowing it doesn't make this any easier... Makes it that much harder. But if I stay... I won't be able to help myself. And God only knows what will happen. We need... You need time to finish growing up and learn how to maybe control your power. And I need to learn more about where I came from."
Marie started to cry again, softly. She knew Logan was right but was loathe to admit it. He cupped her cheek one last time, picked up his bag from where it had fallen onto the floor and placed a brief kiss on top her head.
He turned and took three steps away from her before turning around.
"This isn't goodbye. It's just so long. I'll be back, Marie. I promise."
And then he was gone.
Two Years Later...
She found him in the same hole-in-the-wall in Alberta where she'd first laid eyes on him. He was sitting at the end of the bar, back to her, smoking a cigar and nursing a beer. She ignored the stares she was receiving -- she knew she looked odd, long black coat, white streak prominent in her otherwise dark as night hair.
Marie was about a foot behind him when he spoke. Taking a sip of beer, he nonchalantly set the mug back on the scarred bar and, without even turning around, asked, "What the hell are you doing here, Marie?"
She stopped abruptly and took a moment before responding.
"How did you know it was me?"
He turned around then, trying his best to glare at her. "Your scent, Marie. I could smell you a hundred yards away."
She felt her cheeks pinken; she hadn't expected that for an answer.
He got up from his bar stool and took three steps towards her, till he was towering over her. "Now, I'm going to ask you again... What the hell are you doing here, Marie?"
She brought her hands out from where her pockets and tugged her right glove off with her left hand. She took one step towards him and slowly raised her hand till it was cupping his scruffy cheek. His eyes went wide with surprise and then, when after more than a minute had passed and nothing had happened beyond her chilled palm being warmed by his skin, he stammered out another question.
"M-marie... How? I mean, what?"
She smiled and leaned up so that her lips were only inches from his.
"I've come to take you home, Logan. Some things have changed."
And then, she kissed him.