I waited too long. That's all I can say. When I was a young man, I was foolish, I didn't understand. And now... Well, in another time, in a better, more innocent place... Shawn was mine.

The second I looked at him, he was mine. The second he asked me, I was there. He was so beautiful... I couldn't resist those gorgeous blue eyes, that messy blonde hair, and the look of worry as he pursed those perfect lips. He needed me to protect him and I was there. I would have given my right hand to shove my third leg into that pretty little mouth. I protected him with every ounce of my being and at night, I had every ounce of his. Everything I could ever want to do with him, I had absolute permission to.

I made him wear a leash and a collar. I pushed him over McMahon's desk and had my way with him while he wore his chaps. I spanked him as hard as I could till his ass was cherry colored and throbbing. I tied him in every which way I could, gagged him with socks, bandanas, and ball gags. He sucked my cock for hours on end. He loved doing that once most of all- every where we went, Shawn'd get on his knees and suck away, kissing, licking, eating my seed.

But my favorite thing about Shawn's mouth was not his gifts to pleasure people, but that perfect smile. He could take my breath away whenever he smiled. Sometimes all I needed to get through a horrible day was just that- a reassuring, beautiful grin.

The thing is, he grew too close to me. Something I didn't understand. One night way back when in 1995, after I had untied him from the ceiling, he collapsed into my arms breathless and panting.

"Kev...?"

"Yes baby?" I asked and ran my thumb across his bottom lip.

"I love you."

I froze and looked down at that beautiful face I had rammed into my crotch every damn minute of the day. His blue eyes shinned up at me with hope, something I didn't understand. I didn't love Shawn. You can't love a man. After a few minutes, his face had begun to fall to something more of worry. "Shawn, I'm sorry. I can't... I don't love you."

"But Kevin...!"

"Sorry. Good bye, Shawn." I murmured and grabbed my pants and threw them on in a hurry.

"W-Wait! Please, Kevin! Don't leave me!"

And that was that. I went to WCW after that. I couldn't bare to look at him, and see his heartbroken expression. I couldn't even watch RAW. In fact, I hadn't even seen him since the night we broke kayfabe. I sighed softly, and shook my head. When I finally came back all those years later, he wouldn't even look at me, and I still couldn't tell him. I just didn't know. I still stuck by what I said to him all those years ago.

You can't love a man.

However, I did love to have Shawn in my grasp again. He didn't run directly over to me, but after awhile we were back to normal again. We formed NWO, and I loved throwing him down on the mattress and pummeling his little ass while he wore that black beret. It framed his face, and his now darkened hair curled cutely beneath his chin. So beautiful.

Again he told me that he loved me, but I didn't run this time. I said nothing and turned away from him. Maybe he'd understand one day.

You can't love a man.

I was put on the shelf again. How wonderful- and when I finally came back... I had found none other than Hunter, Chris, and Flair all tryin' to get at him out in the ring... They even handcuffed him and everything.

I was cleaning him up in the back after the whole fiasco, dabbing the blood from his forehead. He was definitely a bleeder. That never changed... "You are a mess tonight." I mused and kissed him on the cheek.

He frowned and shook his head. "Kev, we got to talk..."

"Sure babe. Come on over here." I smiled and patted my leg. I loved having Shawn sit on my lap. He didn't even have to sit- his ass came right to my legs.

He sighed as if he didn't want to- there must be something wrong then! Shawn loved sitting in my lap! He finally came over and climbed up on me, the frown still present on his face. "Babe- what's the matter?"

"I-"

"Wait- I know. This is all about me not saying that I love you, right?"

"Well-"

"I know something that will cheer you up. I've been doing some thinking, and I found out that it's okay to love a man. See, I always thought if I did love a man, it would be de-masculating. But I was wrong. With all the gay weddings and the acceptance of it, maybe it wouldn't be so bad to say it... I love you, Shawn."

Shawn began to cry and put his head in his hands. "K-Kevin..." He sobbed- boy he must be so happy! "I-I'm sorry!"

"Sorry 'bout what baby?" I asked and rubbed his hips some.

"...I... When you left for your injury... And since you and I aren't in any type of romantic relationship, I-I met some one."

I paled some. "WHAT?"

"We were up in Canada again, and Bret was there. He... He was so sweet. His stroke really changed him, he was like a new person and after nine months since you were traveling with us... We fell in love. And he TOLD me he loved me... We're um... Getting married. Even his kids like me!"

He went on like that for a little while, and I grew paler. I didn't understand. Shawn and Bret? Oh god. Oh god. He's leaving- I just got him back, now he's gone for good.

Wow. To think how time's flown by. Shawn Michaels, the young man I had been guarding, to being his 'friend with benefits', to being his savior again- and yeah, I was the maid of honor at his wedding. Strange as that may sound. I did it for him because like I said on that day, I love him.

And now, now... Hell. I'm all alone, I'm in a shitty promotion, and Shawn's been deliriously happy as Shawn Michaels Hart. He should be Shawn Michaels Nash. That's how it should be- and because of my stupidity, it'll never be that way.

I let the love of my life slip through my fingers, and I'll never have that beautiful smile all to my self again.

FIN