"Where's Sean?" Viggo asked, running a comb through his hair.

"In the back room, I heard him grumbling a few minutes ago," Karl answered, straightening the leather kilt and adjusting the sporran on its chain.

As if in response to Viggo's question, a loud shout of "Bollocks!" graced the air.

"Better check on him, mate," Eric piped up, a huge grin on his face.

Viggo shook his head with a muttered "Why me?" as he trudged into the other room. Poking his head around a curtain he saw the agitated Brit. "Problems, Sean?"

"Vig! Did you see the shirt? It's fuckin' pink! I don't wear pink, mate." The last sentence was punctuated with a firm head shake as he tossed the shirt across the room.

Viggo retrieved it and made a comment about Sean being insecure in his masculinity. "That's shite and you know it!" Sean groused.

"Then wear the damn shirt, Sean. It's pink for a reason. This is a fundraiser for breast cancer research. Pink is their color."

Chagrined, Sean took the shirt from Viggo and placed it over his head. Five minutes later they were heading back to the rest of the group. Sean saw Eric's smirk and frowned. "What are you grinning about, ya nutter?"

"You're such a pansy ass," Eric said. "I bet you even left your boxers on under the kilt, didn't you?"

"Yeah, so?"

Three sets of eyes locked on to him, aghast with surprise. Gerry was the first to speak. "Sean, mate, you can't wear underwear below a kilt."

"Why the fuck not?"

"It's like tradition or something," Karl explained with a wave of his hand.

Sean frowned. This little arrangement was going from bad to worse. First pink, now starkers? Like hell...

"C'mon Seannie... don't be a wuss," Eric teased. "Take them off or we'll take them off you."

Sean was about to shake his head 'no' but caught the glimmer of a dare in Eric's eyes.

"Aw, fucking hell," he cursed, but reached below the kilt and stripped the boxers off awkwardly over the chunky boots.

"That's a good boy," Eric said, giving Sean a pat on the head and earning a deathly glare in return.

Hearing his cue, Gerry nodded to the men and took off for center stage, performing his little show for the women gathered. Viggo and the rest hung back in the wings, watching Gerry show off and pose for the ladies. Only minutes later, Gerry's voice rang through the loudspeakers. "Now, ladies, it is my pleasure to bring the night to its conclusion with a few very special guests to entertain you."

Gerry's hand extended in invitation to the men waiting just outside the women's range of vision. The four men paraded on stage and began to dance a Scottish country dance song.

The ladies laughed and cheered as Viggo, followed by Sean, who was followed by Karl and then Eric, danced around in circles. After a few minutes the music changed suddenly to a Can-can, the surprise making them stop abruptly, but they lined up obligingly, Gerry standing beside Viggo as the men raised their legs high in the air to punctuate the music.

Squealing was heard after only a few kicks, but the men attributed it to nothing more than the ladies' exuberance. All too quickly for the ladies it was over and the men bowed, taking their exit.

A figure hidden behind a video camera made his way backstage once the women had cleared the room. The men had taken off to change into their street clothes and the stealthy man hid in the shadows to see who would emerge first.

Thankfully it was Viggo. Creeping out of the darkness, he whispered, "Hello lover."

Viggo spun around like lightning, grabbing his angel's face and planting a solid kiss on his lips. "Did you get it?"

"Every leg lift. Center stage was perfect."

Viggo grinned. "He's going to kill us all, you realize that, right?"

"Pays to have the speed of an Elf."

"If only you had the grace to go with it," Viggo added, earning himself a slug in the arm.

Within seconds of uttering those words, the rest of the men emerged, Sean last in line. Eric had tackled his 'little brother' as soon as he'd seen him, causing Viggo to clear out of the way in exaggerated fear.

"Hey, Sean."

Sean looked up from straightening his jacket collar and smiled hugely. "Orlando! Damn it's great to see ya! What are you doing here?"

"Just in town for a few days. Caught Viggo's ear and he said to drop by. Was thinking about grabbing some beers and heading back to my hotel. Would be great to have company tonight." Viggo elbowed him. "In addition to you of course, love."

Orlando's grin was contagious to the rest of the group. "Sounds like a wonderful idea!" Sean agreed. "Ger, you comin' along?"

Gerry raised his hands and waved the others off. "No, thanks though. You gents go catch up and I'll let you know the tally of the fundraiser when I find out tomorrow." With a conspiratorial wink to Orlando, Gerry strode out the door.

"Well, then," Sean said, rubbing his hands together in anticipation, "let's see what trouble we can cook up, eh?"

Karl grinned and walked with Sean out the door, Viggo, Eric, and Orlando trailing back a bit. "Oh yes, let's!" Eric whispered slyly to Orlando, then rushed on to catch up to the other two men.

"You sure about this, babe?" Viggo asked his longtime lover as he snuggled him into his arms.

"You're yanking me, yeah? Of course I'm sure. I owe Beanie for that stunt on Rings from long ago. This," Orlando said, holding the encased mini-disc between his thumb and index finger, "more than makes up for it."

"That's exactly what I'm worried about," Viggo sighed, pinching Orlando on the ass to hurry him to the car.

***

Forty minutes later, loaded down with booze and munchies, the five men rode the elevator up to the large suite Orlando had booked for his stay.

"Posh digs, Orli," Eric whistled as they entered the suite. Karl nodded his approval.

After making the drinks, Orlando headed to the living room area and put the disc into the player as the others settled on the various lounging surfaces available. He plopped down onto the couch and into Viggo's embrace, taking a long pull off his beer before swiping some popcorn from Viggo's fingertips.

The scene began just as Gerry was finishing up his performance on the stage. "Oh bloody hell, where did this come from?" Sean asked, looking around.

Karl coughed behind his hand, "Elf."

Sean craned his head around slowly to take in the vision of Orlando cradled under Viggo's arm. "What are you up to, Elf?" His tone was curious, with the slightest hint of a threat beneath.

"Me? Nothing, mate." Orlando gave his best air of innocence and Sean turned back around to watch. He realized there couldn't be anything bad on there, after all, they'd just performed this - he'd been there through it all and nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Until the can-can music started and Eric spluttered his beer.

Now, everyone knows that the purpose of having a sixty inch widescreen television is that no matter where you are in the room, you get a fabulous view of what's happening onscreen.

Nothing registered for a moment as the quintet began their high-kicks, and then suddenly, "Fucking Christ!" in that delightful northern accent that had given Sean the audible equivalent of Elvis' hip thrust.

Muffled chortles and chuckles passed through the other men as Sean gaped at the screen, his 'personal inventory' on display for the squealing women in the room. No wonder they had applauded so profusely! And none of the other bastards in line were starkers like they'd claimed to be.

A low growl was felt more than heard throughout the room. "Orlando..."

Orlando felt Sean's icy stare and in his nervousness he made that adorable tittering giggle. "Payback, mate."

Flash and fury ensued as no sooner was Sean up from his seat than Orlando dove over the back of the couch with a screech of "ERIC!" He feigned left and considered running through the kitchen area to get to his protector, but Sean blocked his path to the large Aussie and Orlando was left with his back to the bedroom door. Like a rabbit into the safety of its hole, Orlando darted into the other room, slamming and locking the door behind him.

"I'm staying here until you come out, Orli... just so you know."

A muffled shout came from the other side of the door. "It wasn't all my idea. I had accomplices."

The truth of the statement surprised Sean, who thought back to the minutes before their portion of the show started. The slow turn of his body brought his eyes onto Eric, who was snorting hiccupping giggles behind his large hand. "I should have known."

Eric realized he'd been outed. "Look at it this way, mate: your popularity with the ladies just increased one hundred-fold!"

Karl caught Viggo's attention and motioned to the kitchen. "If there's going to be a murder, I want to be able to say I didn't see a thing." Viggo nodded, rising and avoiding Sean's glare as the pair went to freshen their drinks.

While in the kitchen, the men heard the sounds of scuffling and muted words exchanged from the living room, but neither moved to look out the doorway. Eric and Sean were grown boys, and the two of them just had to settle alpha male pack status once in a while. After one incredibly loud thump, silence descended over the rooms.

Two heads peeked out of the kitchen at exactly the same time Orlando poked his head around the bedroom door. Viggo and Karl could see nothing, and all Orlando could see was a pair of boots sticking out, toes down, on the far side of the couch. "Oh god, Eric did you kill him?"

"No he bloody well did not kill me," came Sean's rumbling voice, though it was smothered considerably.

Walking into the room with frightened eyes, Orlando made his way around the couch and giggled. Eric had pinned Sean to the floor by sitting on him, Sean's arms caught behind his back in Eric's firm grasp. "Careful, Eric. He might start to like that."

Viggo and Karl came out of the kitchen at the sound of Orlando's laughter. "Shit," Karl's laughter added to the young Brit's. "Do we need to give you two some privacy?"

The way Eric was sitting on Sean's rump was very suggestive, Viggo agreed. Sean mumbled something and Viggo asked him to repeat it.

"I said you're a lot of cock-sucking wankers!" Sean glared up from the floor.

"Now, now, Seannie... sticks and stones, love." Eric sing-songed in a crude mockery of Jack Sparrow's words. "If you promise not to try to kill Orlando or anyone else I'll let you up."

Eric leaned down close to Sean's face, waiting patiently for a response. The rest of the group heard only grumbling, but when Eric sat up and let Sean's hands loose, they took it as a positive sign.

Sean bucked his hips in an attempt to dislodge the much larger man and Eric pitched forward onto the blonde's back. Eric planted a firm smack across the offending backside and got up from the floor, content with the yowl of pain Sean released. "Beginning to think you were right about him liking it, Orli," he grinned as he resumed his spot in the large overstuffed chair.

The DVD was over and Orlando turned off the television as Sean crawled off the floor. "No hard feelings, mate? We're square, yeah?" The hopefulness in Orlando's eyes made Viggo's knees weak. He didn't want them to fight, even though he'd known Sean would be livid.

Sean limped over to the couch and gingerly sat down on the arm. "Yeah, we're square. C'mere." Arms opening in invitation, Orlando ran in to them eagerly and hugged his friend. Sean kissed the young Brit's cheek as he swatted him on the ass. Orlando flinched, but kissed Sean back.

"Now, do you have anything for pain in this place? I think I bruised my hip when Eric tumbled me."

Orlando smiled, and with a nod took off for the bedroom. "You know," he began as he came back in, "Eric gives a great massage. He might be able to alleviate the damage he caused."

Sean gulped the tablets with a swallow of beer and looked to Eric who nodded. "All right then."

"Well," Viggo said, pulling Orlando back into his arms, "if all the excitement is over, I'd like to welcome my lover home properly." The others waved them off as Sean maneuvered himself into a comfortable position on the couch and Eric rose to begin treatment.

"I really hate I didn't get to participate in the dance tonight," they heard Orlando say as the pair made their way to the bedroom, "I've never worn a kilt before."

"Then it will please you to know that I brought mine home," Viggo semi-whispered as the door closed behind them.

Orlando's squeal of delight was the first of many undignified noises the remaining three men heard the rest of the night.

~END~