"Slow Drift Unraveling"
By C.K. Blake

With a roll of his eyes Jared sucked in a breath, wondering how he'd been talked into taking this stupid gig, especially with the biggest dip shit known to man, Chad Michael Murray, riding shotgun. He reached for the radio, trying to find anything that would distract him from Chad's constant line of questions. Damn. The radio really sucked at the moment.

He focused his attention on the road and the van ahead of him as the van turned into the parking lot of a motel in Houston. Jared turned to Chad when the strangest damn question he'd gotten so far during the whole drive popped out of Chad's mouth, "So Mike said something about you having the cutest mole on your ass. JT, how would he know about that?"

"Shut up," Jared bit out.

He parked Chad's truck next to the van and watched as Jensen hopped out of the passengers' seat of the van and went to the main office of the motel to get their rooms. Jared got out of the truck to stretch his legs and maybe escape Chad for a little while. Chad was his boy, his best friend, but some damn times Chad pushed too far. This was definitely one of those times.

Unfortunately Jared had jumped out of the frying pan and straight into the fire, and he mentally groaned as Mike's arm slithered across his shoulders, and suddenly he felt very dirty. Mike grinned up at him and with a wink said, "So since we've got a couple new guys along for the ride we decided to rethink sleeping arrangements. I'm gonna room with your man, Chad, Tom's staying with Steve, cause he's such a damn kiss ass, and you're putting up with Jenny's bitchy self. Does he still snore?"

Jared didn't know what scared him more, Chad and Mike hanging out, cause they both were just fucking evil, or him being alone in a room with Jensen, especially after last night and earlier. The whole shower thing had been great, but Jensen's mood had gone south at breakfast and they'd hardly spoken a word since, and that made Jared's gut clench with nervousness and something he couldn't quite name. Shit, his little crush was starting to get out of hand, because if he had to stay with Jensen he'd lose his damn mind with want and need and the eventual rejection would kill him, because it would probably come to that. Especially considering how hot and cold Jensen seemed to be.

Before Jared could really protest the living arrangements Jensen was back with three sets of room keys. Jared noticed the hard look he was giving Mike before he handed him a key. Mike wiggled his fingers, and Jen gave him a questioning look before giving him the second key to the room. Mike then released Jared and tossed Chad the other key. Chad just barely caught it, and Jen's eyes widened.

"Woah. What the hell Mike? You always room with Steve," Jen said.

Mike grinned. "That was before I met my new best friend. Hey Chad, get your shit in the room and then meet me back out here in five, we're going on a liquor run," Mike said, and as an after thought tossed his bag toward Chad and continued, "Take my shit with ya, buddy."

Chad snorted, but picked up the bag that was by his feet. He smirked in Jared's direction, before he gave a little wave and headed toward his room. A few minutes later Steve and Tom were snatching a couple of keys from Jensen, and when he looked down at the two keys in his hand he swore, "Son of a bitch!"

"What?" Jared asked timidly, but Jensen simply threw a key at him and went back to the van to get his bag.

Jared looked down at the number on the key, room 102. He shrugged, went to Chad's red F-150 and took his duffel out of the back. A few minutes later he opened the door of his room, and noticed the two beds with the small table between them, a lamp and a phone on them. There was a television on the dresser, a bathroom off to the right, and the usual rickety table and two chairs.

He tossed his bag by the bed closest to the bathroom, and then fell back on the bed, tired from the drive and all the emotions hammering away at his gut. He was still wondering what in the hell had possessed him to give into Mike's invite to join the band on the road. As their personal bouncer, bodyguard, whatever.

He pressed the heels of his palms against his closed eyes and slowly let out his breath. At the sound of the door opening and shutting he shifted, and turned to look. Jensen walked in with his duffel bag in one hand and his guitar case in the other. He barely looked over at Jared as he tossed the duffel into one of the chairs, toed his boots off, sat down on his bed, leaned his back up against the wall, took out his guitar and began to play. He let his head fall back as his fingers caressed the strings, and Jared watched breathless, because it was almost like Jensen was making love to the fucking instrument. He then started humming along with the tune, a sort of bluesy winsome melody that Jared had never heard before, and then words were falling from Jensen's mouth.

"I'm falling in and out of touch,
A slow drift unraveling,
Breaking apart at the seams,
I almost feel free,
And it hits, this reality,
Wake me up and take me away…"

Jensen closed his eyes, and hummed the rest of the tune before his hands stilled and he felt Jared's intense gaze. He let out a sigh, put the guitar aside, and let his head drop sideways to look at Jared. A series of expressions crossed his face in a blur until finally he just looked tired, and said, "I kinda wasn't expecting this."

Jared swallowed thickly, as he sat up fully, put his elbow on his knees and braced his chin against his clasped hands. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, which wasn't like him at all.

"Damn man, what's with those sad eyes of yours? Bet you never hear the word no," Jensen said with a chuckle, trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Cut the bullshit, Jensen," Jared said, and he wondered how his voice sounded so normal when it felt like gravity had reversed on his stomach.

Jensen nodded. "Fine. You're a cool kid and all, but I'm not out looking for a relationship or anything. I mean last night, this morning, hell it was great man, but I'm a no attachments guy. So I hope you didn't take this gig with hearts and flowers in those sad eyes. I damn sure didn't think Mike would really set us up as roomies, but he's fucked me over before. Shit, this isn't coming out right. Look, I just don't want there to be any hard feelings, okay? Just keep it casual."

"Yeah, casual," Jared replied stiffly, and then he narrowed his eyes on Jensen, and Jensen's eyes widened, because it looked like he'd managed to piss this kid off. "And just out curiosity, did you get off on thinking I was kid last night when you were fucking me? Cause I'm twenty-two, dude, so don't get your rocks off thinking you got some underage piece of ass."

"Wow, twenty-two, huh? I only got four years on you. Big fucking deal. This ain't about that, and just calm the fuck down, okay? Christ, this is why I'm into no attachments. You get involved you fight, and it's tedious."

"Fuck you," Jared bit out.

Jensen lifted brow. "That a challenge or an offer?"

Jared sucked in a sharp breath, and let it out slowly. As his gaze met with Jensen's he knew he was doomed. He would go as far as Jensen allowed, and he'd enjoy every damn minute of it. There was no doubt about that. Even though he knew it would probably never amount to anything more than some great sex (phenomenal fucking) he'd go along for the ride, and he kind of hated himself for it. But damn, Jensen was a walking wet dream and he just couldn't say no…

----------

"So who do you think is gonna get killed first? The kid or Mike?" Steve asked as he stretched out on the bed closest to the door and reached for the remote, absently flipping through the channels until he found a rerun of "Walker, Texas Ranger".

Tom ran a hand through his dark hair. "Honestly? I don't know. Jen's been threatening to kill Mike since the day he met him. Jared looks like he can handle himself. I mean, Christ, he's huge."

"And that kid's got a lot of hurt comin' his way. Jen's fucked up. Mike shouldn't be pushin' this. Goddammit, this is asking for the shit to hit the fan."

"Yeah," Tom agreed as he sat down on the bed nearest the bathroom. "Chris leaving really did a number on us. We were so close to gettin' signed and then he took off for L.A. without a goddamned word. The asshole."

"He had his reasons, Tom."

"Like what?" Tom asked.

"Shit. You mean you didn't know? Chris and Jen were pretty tight, but you remember that. Well one night they got totally shit faced and Jen told Chris something that he didn't mean to. They ended up fucking and when they woke up the next day Chris was yelling and packing and he hit Jen and that was it. He left. That's why Jen's been so fucked up. Don't go tellin' Mike. You know how he is. Might shoot his mouth off to the kid, and Jen doesn't need that kind of shit."

"What did Jensen say to him?" Tom asked.

Steve took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "He told Chris how he felt. Jen was in love with the asshole, crazy in love with him, man. Chris has always been about women though. He had to be pretty fucking drunk to end up in bed with Jen, but Jen's always had his way. It's hard to tell the cocky bastard no."

Before Tom could ask any more questions, Steve's cell began to ring. He pulled the phone from his pocket, flipped it open, and said, "Hello."

Steve shifted his gaze to Tom for a minute, then got up and walked out of the room. He was gone for about fifteen minutes, and when he came back Tom turned the television on mute and looked at Steve expectantly. Steve could see the questions in Tom's eyes.

He took his cowboy hat off his head, ran his hand through his brown hair, damn he could use a haircut, and then sighed. "That was Chris. He just finished shooting the final episode of Angel. Says he's coming home. He asked me about some of our gigs. Says he might catch a show. Christ. I don't know whether to be happy my best friend's coming back or worried that him and Jen'll kill each other. Damn it's been five fucking years, and Jen's still not over it. All the fucking one night stands. No attachments and now this kid and Chris coming back."

"How fucked are we Steve?"

Steven snorted. "Jen's gonna kick Chris' ass as soon as he sees him. That's how fucked we are."

Tom's eyes widened, and he shook his head in disbelief. Jensen was always the cool, level headed one, never got in fights, was always talking them out of fights. If Jensen was going to lose it to the point of kicking someone's ass, it was bad. Cause Jensen fucking Ackles was always in control. Always.

----------

Mike grinned and wiggled his eyebrows as he picked up a bottle of Jose Cuervo and gave it a thorough examination. Chad shook his head and wondered what in the hell was going on in that twisted mind. Mike then picked up a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels, and looked at the case of Budweiser Chad was holding.

He dangled the bottle of Cuervo in front of Chad's face for a moment and then drew it back with a laugh and a shake of his head.

"What the hell is up with you and tequila, man?" Chad finally asked.

Mike snorted with laughter. "Oh it's not for me my friend. I hardly touch the stuff, but Jenny has a taste for it, and when he gets too much he's funny as hell to watch. Tequila is about the only thing that'll knock him back on his ass."

"Would that be a good thing or a bad thing? Cause my boy's rooming with him, and I don't want to put JT into any dangerous situations," Chad replied.

"Hey man, he's fucking Jenny, that's about as dangerous as it gets," Mike said.

Chad lifted a brow in curiosity. "Yeah? Why's that?"

"Well, the last time Jen fucked a member of our little group he ended up with a black eye, and we had to replace our lead singer and rename the band. Jen ended up our singer, and we went from being Kane to being Smeckles."

"So Jared and me are part of the group, cool man…and what the hell are you talking about? Kane? Damn that sounds familiar… when did that happen?"

"Happened five years ago. Back when Christian was our lead singer. Him and Jen and Steve were tight. Hell him and Jen were roomies at the time, and he was thinking about going to L.A. to give acting a try. Well him and Jenny got shit faced one night and next thing we knew Jen came to rehearsal nursing one hell of a hangover and telling us that our lead singer was headed off to La La Land to get famous. He hasn't talked about Chris since. Hell, he gets real pissy every time that damn show comes on."

"Man that name sounds… Wait, are you talking about that lawyer guy from Angel?" Chad asks.

Mike bursts out laughing, almost dropping a bottle of Jack and getting the attention of the clerk behind that counter. "Yeah, that would be our very own Christian fucking Kane."

"Damn. Padalecki's gonna get his heart broken over a guy who's got a thing for the evil lawyer on Angel. Maybe I should warn him or somethin," Chad said, guilt nagging at his conscience.

Mike shook his head. "Naw. I think your boy is just what Jen needs to get his ass out of his little funk. That's why I pushed ya into comin'. Jen hasn't been that hot after someone since Chris left. Seriously man, and Jared's got a few things going for him, I mean he's big as a house, he could hold his own against Jen, and those damn eyes. Jen melts at a set of puppy eyes and your boy, he's got puppy eyes down to an art."

"Yeah, sounds like you got this all thought out, but what about JT? What about when Jensen starts a mind fuck on him because of something that happened with Kane? I can't just let him get hurt. Hell, up until he saw Jensen for the first time he'd been all about the ladies. He never got a hard on for a guy till he heard that 'scratchy voice belting out Ted Nugent.' And those were his words not mine."

Mike cocked his head thoughtfully. "You know, I might be an asshole most of the time, but I look after my friends. Hell, sometimes I know what they need better than they do. Jen needs a wake up call. Your boy, Paddywhack, he's it. I mean the way Jen looks at him, and what I saw this morning, that mole on his ass not withstanding. Jen's got a lot of shit to get through, but I think there's a chance for them. Hell I wouldn't push it if I didn't think so. That and I'm a stubborn bastard. And I so owe Jen for those goddamned pink high heels."

Chad gave him a confused look as they headed toward the counter to pay for the liquor.

----------

Jensen looked down at his watch and shook his head before he looked once again toward the closed bathroom door. Shit, Jared had been in there for over half an hour. Ever since he'd stalked off after that little fight or whatever it was.

He dragged his hand down his face, wondering what would happen next. He was done with this whole potential relationship bullshit. Had been done with this over five years ago when he'd tried to actually go with the flow, take a gamble, and tell someone he loved them.

He picked up the remote to take his mind off of things. He flipped through a few channels when he heard a familiar voice and a shiver went up his spine. He froze as he watched familiar hands strum a guitar like it was an old friend, an old lover, and his breathing hitched as the camera panned out and there he was, Christian fucking Kane.

"Streets littered with diamonds
Everyone's glistening
This whole world shines so brightly
I can't see a thing…"

He flipped the television off and threw the remote across the room just as Jared finally came out of the bathroom. Jared looked at the remote on the floor and then toward Jensen. He ran a large hand through his wet hair and wondered what was going on.

"Okay, what the hell was that about?" he asked.

Jensen shook his head. "Nothing. Just heard something that I couldn't fucking stand. It's not like it's any of your goddamned business anyway."

Jared snorted. "Yeah, the only thing around here that is my business is getting you off right? Thanks man, but I'm not some little fuck buddy. Yeah last night was great, and this morning fantastic, but I don't need all this emotional bullshit. I'm too good for it, and it turns out you're a fucking asshole. The whole star struck thing, yeah, that's kinda worn out now."

"Then why are you still here?" Jensen asked, his golden green eyes narrowing challengingly.

Jared crossed the room and wrapped his large hands in Jensen's black shirt, dragging the shorter man to his feet. Jensen could read the anger in Jared's hazel green eyes, but the fact that he'd just been hauled to his feet by this giant pissed him off.

He shoved Jared back hard, anger adding fuel to his strength, and then he tackled the younger man to the bed, and straddled him, held those large arms down, and looked into those surprised eyes and leaned down, his lips brushing against Jared's ear as he said, "You're still here because you belong to me, and you know it as much as I do. You don't leave until I say you can fucking leave."

Jared shuddered beneath the older man, and then Jensen's pouty mouth met his, and sucked in his bottom lip, nipping it with his teeth. Jared moaned, his eyes rolling back into his head, and he bucked when Jensen's crotch collided with his, their hard-ons straining against their jeans.

Jensen drew his tongue along Jared's throat, and then pulled back with a confused expression on his face. "Dude, what the hell? You taste like freaking mint and oatmeal."

Jared's face burned a bright red, and he grumbled something out.

Jensen leaned down with a smirk, not quite sure he heard correctly when he asked Jared to repeat himself.

Jared looked up at him with a glare and said, "It's a moisturizer. I have sensitive skin, asshole."

"Really? How sensitive we talking?" Jensen asked, his eyes darkening with desire and his growing curiosity.

Jensen's hand slipped down Jared's chest, and belly. He flicked open Jared's fly and then his hand was around Jared's pulsing cock his thumb absently brushing over the tip, already wet with pre-cum. "As sensitive as your cock, cause that's very sensitive Jay," he crooned, his voice husky.

Jared was about to attempt a reply when a shrill sound filled the room coming from just below Jared. Jensen's eyes widened as he reluctantly pulled away and said, "Man, your ass is ringing."

Jared rolled his eyes, and sat up, pulling the phone from his back pocket. He took a deep breath as he looked at the caller id and then flipped the phone open.

"Hi, Mom," he said, and unfortunately he didn't notice the devilish grin on Jensen's face.

Jensen slipped quietly down on his knees and Jared looked down when he felt Jensen's hands on his thighs, sliding closer and closer to his crotch. He glared down at Jensen with a look that said, "Don't you fucking dare."

Jensen dared.

He reached into Jared's pants, his hand curling around Jared's aching cock, and he chuckled when Jared hissed in a breath and then spoke into the phone, "Yeah Momma, I'm fine. Just hanging out with…Jesus!" Jared said when Jensen pulled his dick out of his pants and licked the tip of it.

"No, just Chad and some new friends," Jared quickly amended and bit down on his lip to keep from groaning into the phone and Jensen took his pulsing cock into his mouth, his tongue slithering along the pounding vein on the underside of his shaft, and when Jensen chuckled against him the sensation sent a jolt up Jared's spine, and he wanted to either shove Jensen away or hang up on his mother. He wasn't sure which option would end the worst.

"Hey Mom, can I call you back? Me and Chad are about to head out," Jared's voice came out a little high pitched on the word out.

Jensen smirked up at him from around his cock, hollowed his cheeks and made a valiant effort with sucking him off. Jared squirmed, and bucked a little, his breathing heavy as he said, "Really, Mom I'm fine, I just…I gotta… I gotta go. Call ya later. Love you. Bye."

Jared then snapped the phone shut and tossed it on bedside table, where it rang and after a moment went straight to voicemail. Shit. He couldn't believe he'd just hung up on his mother. There would be hell to pay later. He looked down at the man between his legs, grabbed him by the back of his shirt, pulled him away and narrowed his eyes in anger at the smirking bastard.

"You're a real asshole. That was my mom."

Jensen shrugged. "I caught that," he replied and then shifted up, capturing Jared's mouth with his, and damn it all, Jared couldn't stay mad at Jensen with that mouth against his, tasting like him, and that hand wrapped around his cock pulling him into orgasm ten minutes later.

Jared's hands were just working into Jensen's pants when there was a knock on the door and a shout from Steve, "Hey, we got a gig to set up for. Get your asses in gear!"

"Son of a bitch," Jensen let out with a hiss, and called back, "Dammit! Ten fucking minutes, Steve."

"Five!" Steve shouted back.

Jen looked down at Jared, his eyes almost black with desire. "You better make it quick and you better make it good," he growled, and Jared did his best to comply.

----------

Mike watched with amusement as Jensen stepped out of his room, adjusting his jeans as he walked a little looser than usual, and Jared stepped out of the room a few minutes later, looking thoroughly ravished, and using chapstick. Damn, he'd done good with this little matchmaker thing.

He smacked Chad in the arm and tilted his head in Jensen and Jared's direction and said, "See. I knew what I was doing. Trust me. We'll take your truck and let them hang out in the van with Steve and Tommy Boy."

Chad just shrugged and headed to his truck. Mike held out his hand for the keys, but Chad snorted and shook his head. "No fucking way man. I already know you're crazy. You can ride shotgun, but I'm driving this bitch."

Mike rolled his eyes. "Fine, but if you get drunk off your ass I'm snatchin' your keys."

"Define drunk off my ass," Chad replied.

Mike just grinned at him, all teeth and evil intent.

----------

Jared was the last to climb into the van. Steve was behind the wheel and Tom kept glancing back at him and Jen, a strange look on his face. Jen narrowed his eyes on Tom and then glanced at Steve before he said, "Christ, what the hell is up already?"

Tom swallowed thickly, shook his head, and turned to look out the window.

"Steve," Jen prompted.

Steve glanced in the rearview mirror, and shook his head. Jared reached over and brushed his fingers over Jensen's hand, and Jensen stiffened for a moment and relaxed. This didn't go unnoticed by Steve. He watched as Jen turned to the kid and gave a small nod, and then Jen's piercing golden-green gaze locked with his in the mirror again and he said, "We'll talk about it later."

Steve gave a nod, and then Jensen shifted his gaze to look out of the window, all of his attention concentrated on Jared's fingers still resting on his hand. He wanted to pull his hand away, but he couldn't bring himself to do it, because he knew he'd face those kicked puppy eyes, and he'd miss the warmth of the touch.

He took in a small breath and let it out in a huff, wondering how he'd managed to land himself in this mess, and then he remembered. Michael Rosenbaum. He'd either kill him or thank him, he just wasn't sure which yet.

He let his head fall back against the seat and his thoughts started chasing around in his head, and then something struck him. He snatched his hand away from Jared's and then he smacked Tom in the arm. "Hand me the notebook and pen from the glove compartment. Now."

Tom didn't argue, just did as he asked, and Jared gave Jensen a strange look, but Jensen focused on the blank, lined page in the notebook, the pen pressed against his bottom lip, and a moment later he was writing.

I'd fly away, but my wings are clipped,
My wings are clipped baby,
And the ground, the ground is killing me.
I'm falling in and out of touch,
This warmth, this sensation too much,
A slow drift unraveling,
Not exactly what I seem,
I'm just unraveling.

Could this be me?
A slow drift unraveling,
Trying to keep it together at the seams,
Even though I almost feel free.

This unraveling, oh baby
Come set me free,
Because the ground, the ground is killing me,
This unraveling, gotta get away,
Away from dreamland, just slow drift traveling,
Cause baby this is me,
Just me unraveling.

By the time he was done they'd reached the bar, and the guys were already unloading the van. He read over what he'd written, and then he mentally went over the lines he'd sung earlier. It was finally finished.

He smiled, a genuine smile and looked up, his gaze locked with Jared who'd just grabbed his guitar case. Jared paused, and Jensen reached over the seat, his hand tracing down Jared's cheek. Jared closed his eyes and leaned into the touch.

"Thank you," Jensen whispered, and then Jared pulled back as Chad slapped him on the back and then reached into the van and grabbed a couple of amps.

Jensen got out of the van, his mind circling and drifting, and he felt lost, but somehow he just knew he was on the verge of finally being found. He lifted his head and looked toward Jared again, and drew in his bottom lip, chewing on it thoughtfully.

He was dragged from his unraveling thoughts a moment later when a strong arm knocked the wind out of him. He narrowed his eyes menacingly on Mike and shook his head as Mike said, "Looked pretty deep in thought there, Jenny. Didn't know blondes were capable of that."

"Fuck off, Rosy."

Mike chuckled. "So how's it going? Like your new roommate?"

Jensen almost grinned, but managed a scowl at the last minute. It still didn't convince Mike though.

"Thought so," Mike said cockily, and then he headed inside the bar to get his drums set up.

Jensen shook his head as his hand landed on the back door of the bar. He pulled it open and stepped inside, and he felt different, less weighed down. He noticed Jared and Chad sitting together at the bar, Chad already working on a beer, and he actually smiled at Jared before he headed to the stage to check out the set up. He hadn't felt this good in over five years.

Read Story #3 in the Rockstar 'Verse Outside Looking In