I should have gone with him. There would have been more dignity in going with him then waiting a few days before getting sent back down to OVW. At least this way it would have been on my own terms, right? And, me and Brian could be working together right now. But, no, I let my foolish pride get in my way. Why am I such a damn idiot? I'll tell you why-because I was afraid. I was afraid of going against the boss-of leaving what little security I had. And where did it get me? Back down in Louisville. I guess it could be worse though. At least I still have a job. But, I don't have Brian.

And that's the big issue, isn't it, O'Haire? I let go of the one thing that truly made me happy. I should have swallowed my pride and gone with him. But, it's too late now.

Even after having a four hour nap on the plane, I'm exhausted and I collapse on the bed as soon as I enter my room. Well, look at the bright side-I didn't have to move at all. I guess it's a good thing I still have the apartment I share with my brother here in Louisville. Maybe subconsciously I knew I'd be coming back down here. Isn't that sad? I couldn't even get rid of my apartment to move in with Brian when he asked me to a few months ago. But, hey, like I said-maybe it's a good thing I didn't.

Shan's knocking on the door already. I knew I shouldn't have rushed past him as soon as I walked into the apartment. But, I don't feel like dealing with anyone-even if it IS my little brother. He wouldn't understand anyway. He doesn't know what it's like to lose your dream, your life, your love. And, I've lost my chance in the WWE right now as well.

"Sean?" More knocking, damn him. "Sean! Open the damn door, man!"

"Go away, Shan."

That damn knocking is giving me even more of a headache. Sighing, I get up and open the door. I figure giving my brother a few minutes of my time will save me a damn headache, right? He walks in and sits himself down on the bed without even waiting for me to tell him to come in.

"What do you want?" I ask wearily.

"Good seeing you again, too." Shan rolls his eyes and waits until I'm sitting down next to him before continuing. "It's not that bad, ya know."

"Yeah, right."

"So you got sent down to OVW for a few weeks, months at the most. Big deal. At least you've still got a damn job."

I fall back on the bed, covering my head with my arms. Yeah, I've still got a job. Big fucking deal. It's not what I really want-what I need. I let that walk right out of my life.

"It's more than just getting sent down here, isn't it?"

"You're so observant, Shan."

"Fuck you, I'm trying to help."

Yeah, he's trying to help. Well, it's not working. If he really wanted to help he'd shut the hell up and leave me alone. That would be nice. Of course, knowing my brother-he won't leave me alone until I open up and share my feelings with him. He's always been that way-the sensitive one. Sometimes, I wish he'd take that sensitivity and shove it up his ass.

"I'm not leaving." Shit, it's like he can read my mind. Of course, after living with me for so many years he probably can. "Sean, what's REALLY bothering you? You can tell me, ya know."

"You wanna know what's wrong?" I sit up and stare into his eyes. "You REALLY wanna know, Shan? Do you wanna know why I feel like complete and utter shit? I'll tell you why. Because I let the love of my life-the only man I ever cared for-walk away. He left me." I sigh and fall back on the bed. "I let my fucking pride keep me from going with him. Are you happy now? Huh?"

"Yeah, I am. You know why-because you finally admitted that you're in love." He stands up and opens the door. "It's up to you to fix it, though. I'll be in the living room if you need me."

It's not until he leaves that I sit up again and grab my cell phone out of my bag. I flip through the numbers, easily finding Brian's. I want to call him-my finger is on the call button-but I can't bring myself to do it. He's the one that left me, right? If he wanted to be with me, he wouldn't have left so easily. I shouldn't have to be the one to call first. I'm Sean O Fucking Haire. I don't call anyone. Then again, I swore I'd never fall in love either, but it happened.

One ring. Two rings. Before it rings for the third time, I hang up. I can't do it. He left me, not the other way around. In fact, he's probably laughing his ass off right now after hearing that I got sent down to OVW. Then again, maybe he's thinking that now's my chance to follow him-that I'll just up and leave the WWE now. Thinking about it, that doesn't sound like such a bad idea. I could probably get more work in Japan than I could in the WWE or OVW.

Shit, at least I'd be getting matches.

I throw my phone on my desk and fall back on my bed, easily falling asleep once again. At least not being on the road means more time to catch up on my sleep.

A soft knock on my door a few hours later wakes me up. Shaking my head I call out for them to enter, thinking it's my little brother again. The door opens and my breath gets caught in my throat. It's only been a few days since I last saw him, but it's like it's been a few years. He smiles at me before walking over to the bed.

"I saw that you tried calling me earlier."

I nod my head and continue looking at him. He sits down next to me and places his hand on my thigh. I've got to be dreaming still. There's no way that Brian is here, sitting next to me. He's supposed to back in Florida, getting some rest before going out on the road for indy shows.

"I heard about you getting sent back down here."

"Yeah, I should have seen it coming."

"No, you shouldn't have." He pats my leg. "You're fucking awesome, Sean. You should be main-eventing now, not getting sent back down here. You've worked too hard."

"Apparently not hard enough."

"Fuck the WWE!"

I sigh and we sit in silence for a few minutes, neither of us knowing exactly what to say or how to say it. I want to tell him how much I've missed him and how much I want him to come back, but I can't do it. It's not fair, how he's turned me into a big pussy. I feel his arms wrap around my waist and I look down in his eyes.

They're so clear, so beautiful. Before I know what's happening, I lean down to kiss his mouth lightly.

"Come with me, Sean. No one will blame you."

"Brian, I can't. This is my life. I told you that before." I pull away and look out the window. "I can't just walk away."

"Sean?"

I shake my head and stand up. He follows me and stands by my side-waiting for me to say something, I'm sure. It's not that I want to stay without him, but how can I just leave something I've worked so hard for? I wish Brian could see that.

"Sean, I hafta be in Tennessee in a few hours. I just stopped by to see how you were doing and-"

"Go on and leave me again, Brian." I sigh. "I'm used to it."

"I just-"

"Bye, Brian. It was nice of you to stop by. I'll see you again, someday."

I can feel him standing next to me, still. He wants to say something, but I'm not going to let him. I walk over and open the door, gesturing for him to walk through it. He looks at me, and his eyes are sad. I look away, waiting for him to leave.

"Sean…" He sighs as he looks back. "I'll come visit you again, okay?"

"Right."

I close the door behind him and fall back on my bed again. He'll come visit me again and I'll beat Brock for the heavyweight championship. It ain't gonna happen.