Jeff Hardy entered his locker room, feeling pretty happy. He had just won a big match against Christopher Nowinski and it felt good. Of course, he had known that he was going to win, but still. Now, he just wanted to take a nice hot shower and go back to his hotel room.

Unfortunately, Jeff wouldn't be that lucky.

"I can't believe you borrowed my brush without asking!" Christian yelled at his tag team partner, Chris Jericho.

"I couldn't find my brush!" Jericho explained, plopping down on the bench, "What did you want me to do, go out with nappy hair?" He reached for Christian's hand and kissed it. "I know you wouldn't like that!'

Christian sighed and sat down next to his partner. He closed his eyes as Chris' slender fingers caressed his face. Chris was right, he wouldn't want his boyfriend to go out to the ring looking like crap!

"You could have asked first," Christian complained, running his hand up Chris' back and to the back of his neck, "Come here, you!" He pulled his face to his and kissed Chris deep and hard.

Jeff rolled his eyes as two of his best friends made out on the bench next to him. He pulled his boots off and hoped that they would go away soon. He just wanted to take a damn shower and he really didn't want to hear those two making out while he was in there. At least, Jeff hoped that they would just make out if they stayed in the locker room. One could never be so sure when it came to Chris and Christian.

"Damn it!" Scott Steiner exclaimed, bursting through the door, "Has anyone seen my hood?"

Christian pointed to a bag in the corner of the room, his mouth never leaving his boyfriend's. Scott sighed in relief as he pulled his chain-metal hood out of the bag. He pushed it on his head, smiling at Jeff.

Jeff smiled back, hoping Scott would just go away. Luckily, he had a match in five minutes so he just opened the door and exited the room. Jeff said a small prayer and turned to look at Christian and Chris. The two were still making out on the bench. It would be hard to separate those two once they got going, so Jeff tapped Chris on the shoulder, hoping he would respond.

No such luck. Chris continued exploring Christian's mouth with his tongue. Christian moaned in pleasure and slid his hand up Chris' leg and to his bulging crotch.

Jeff rolled his eyes and finished taking off the rest of his clothes. There was no way those two were going to stop now. Just as he was about to step into the shower, Shane Helms burst through the door, muttering curses.

"Jeff, just the man I wanted to see!" Shane exclaimed once he noticed that Jeff was in the room. Jeff looked down at his naked, sweaty body and grimaced. This could take a while if Shane was in one of his talkative moods. He considered running into the shower before Shane could speak, but decided against it. Shane would just follow him in.

"What's up?" Jeff asked, sitting down again.

"I'm glad you asked!" Shane smiled, "You see, I got invited to go to a big comic book convention in New York City next week and I need someone to go with me!"

And?" Jeff asked, starting to shiver from the cold air hitting his bare skin.

"Will you call Shannon up and ask him if he'll go with me?" Shane asked, shyly.

Jeff rolled his eyes.

"I mean, you are his best friend and everything," Shane continued, "You don't have to if you don't want to, but I just thought I would ask." He stood up, running a hand through his newly cut dark hair and sighed when Jeff didn't respond. "Like I said, I just thought I would ask."

Jeff put out a hand, stopping his friend. Shane knew it annoyed him when he acted so sad and depressing like he was now.

"Look, Helms, I'll talk to Shanny for you," he said, standing up and grabbing his towel, "Now, if you don't mind, I really just want to take a shower and go back to the hotel. It's starting to get cold in here and I am naked afterall."

"Oh, yeah, no problem, Jeff," Shane smiled gratefully at him, "I do happen to notice you're getting a little cold now." He glanced meaningfully at Jeff's exposed lover half. "And here I thought it was always like that!" He shrugged. "Oh well, sometimes people are wrong ya know?"

Jeff rolled his eyes again. He shoved Shane toward the door and almost tripped over Christian and Jericho, who had somehow rolled off the bench while he was talking to Shane and onto the locker room floor. He considered kicking Jericho in the head to make him move, but decided that he wasn't worth the effort. After getting Shane out, he grabbed a bottle of raspberry-scented shampoo out of his gym bag and headed for the showers.

He lathered up, delighting in the scent of his new shampoo. Raspberry was his new favorite scent, he decided. Definitely. Sweet and sexy, but still a little masculine in an odd sort of way. A scent that totally described Jeff Hardy to the end. He was so absorbed in washing his hair that he didn't hear someone enter the showers and walk up behind him. He jumped as he felt a hand lightly squeeze his ass.

"What the hell?" Jeff asked, startled.

He turned around and came face to face with Rob Van Dam. Rob was totally naked and Jeff couldn't help but look down to see if all the rumors about him were true. From the raging hard-on beginnng to form, Jeff knew that they were right. RVD was freaking huge! Hung like a bull, ride me until you're sore huge! Jeff felt himself begin to get hard as he just stared at Rob.

Rob reached out and stroked Jeff's newly rinsed, raspberry-scented rainbow hair. His fingers moved down to massage Jeff's neck and Jeff let out a small moan of pleasure. He wasn't sure what was going on here, but he liked it.

"I've been waiting a long time for this," Rob whispered as he pulled the younger Hardy toward him, "A really long time."

Their lips met in a long wet kiss and Jeff felt his knees buckle. Another myth about RVD had just been answered. The man had a skilled tongue. Jeff ran his hands through Rob's long, wet, caramel-colored hair. Rob pulled him in even more and ground his pelvis into Jeff's. He was rewarded by a low, gutteral moan from Jeff.

"Oh, God, Rob," Jeff whispered, slightly out of breath, as the kiss ended, "That was freakin' incredible! I mean, DAMN!"

Rob laughed and ran a hand over the Hardy's wet, sensitive skin. He was rewarded by another moan from him.

"There's a lot more where that came from," he said as he sank to his knees in front of Jeff.

And yet another myth was proved true as Rob's hot mouth enclosed over Jeff's head. The man liked to suck. And he was good at it. Jeff grabbed onto Rob's hair as he began to deep-throat him. The pleasure was almost too much. God, how long had it been since he'd had good head? Too long, that ws for sure. He tightened his hold as Rob's hands slid up his wet thighs to cup his balls. This was definitely too much, Jeff decided. He had no clue why Rob was doing this, but he was damn sure enjoying it.

"Oh, shit, Rob," he groaned as he began bucking his hips wildly, "I think I'm gonna-oh fuck yeah!-gonna come!"

Rob only squeezed his balls a little harder and increased his suction as a response. Jeff arched back, his fingers tightening their grip on Rob's locks. He came into Rob's mouth and Rob swallowed every drop of his seed. When he was finished, Rob stood up, licking his lips hungrily.

"That was better than I could have ever hoped for," Rob told Jeff, giving him a lopsided grin.

Jeff just looked down at Rob's huge dick. It looked like it was about to explode any minute and he couldn't let that happen. At least, not until it was inside his mouth first. He dropped down to his knees and immediately deep-throated the expert high-flyer. Rob could only yelp in pleasure as he came inside Jeff's mouth five seconds later.

"Holy shit, Hardy!" he exclaimed, "You're better than a fuckin' hoover! How come I never knew about this until now?"

Jeff stood up and leaned in, kissing Rob lightly on the cheek.

"You never asked," he whispered.

"Well, if I ask for a repeat performance of this later tonight, what kind of answer will I get?"

"We'll see about that," Jeff grinned. He pushed RVD to the exit. "Now get out so I can finish my damn shower!"

He leaned back against the shower wall after Rob walked out. Locker rooms definitely weren't boring, he decided as he reflected back on the events of the night. Yup, never a dull monent in the life of Jeff Hardy. He shook his head as he heard Christian and Jericho finally climax outside in the locker room. Christian's screams even echoed off the shower walls.

Nope. Never a dull moment indeed.