Part 1

*Shawn's POV*

I'm sitting here in my hotel room waiting for Hunter to show up. Damn am I nervous. When Mark and I left for the reception earlier tonight, I never imagined that we wouldn't be leaving together. Well, I guess technically Mark and I did leave together, since he gave me a ride back to the hotel, but his focus was on Randy rather than me. Luckily Mark was able to talk Randy into a drink in the lounge when we got back here so that I could clear my stuff out of his room and get my own. I don't think Randy would have been near as accepting of Mark's invitation to come back here and talk if he knew that my things had been in Mark's room at the time.

Then again, maybe Mark actually explained the situation to him since he didn't seem to mind my presence in the car earlier. Who am I kidding? Like Randy would have cared. Even if Mark and I had been serious, Randy still would have taken him up on that invitation. Randy isn't a very nice person right now. He's selfish, spoiled, and terribly manipulative, but for some ungodly reason Mark has this huge thing for him. The only reason I think it's a good thing is because if anyone can straighten out Randy, it's Mark. Mark is way too smart to get played by someone like Randy.

I called Hunter after I checked into the new room to let him know where to find me. I really hope this isn't a mistake. I have been in love with the man for years and I know he's loved me too, even if he couldn't say it...or show it. That's where we ran into trouble. I wanted more from him than what I was getting. I wasn't asking for anything really big...I just wanted to let a few of our friends know that we weren't just best friends.

Whenever we were around anyone else, he refused to touch me in any way that could be construed as affectionate beyond those macho male exchanges allowed between "friends". You know what I mean... a macho hug, an arm over the shoulder...those were perfectly acceptable, but if I just wanted to hold his hand or something he always found an excuse to do something else with them...and not anything that I liked either. We never talked about our relationship in front of others...except for our friendship. That was okay at first, but after a couple of years of hiding my feelings all the time, I finally demanded that we let someone know. I didn't even care who it was, but Hunter absolutely refused. It damn near killed me, but I knew then that I had to move on without him. I couldn't handle being his dirty little secret.

When I told him it was over, he tried everything he could to change my mind...except agree to let anyone else know about us. That night was probably the lowest one I've ever had. Ironically it happened to be the night of the Vengeance Pay-Per-View when I had to go out in front of the crowd and try to 'convince' Hunter to join Raw. We were finally going to be on the same show together and I wanted a promise that things would change. Hunter refused once again. Later that night, after Hunter and I had had our last fight, Mark found me crying my eyes out in a deserted hall at the arena and I ended up crying all over him.

We were friends before that, but after my little breakdown, Mark took me back to the hotel and held me all night while I vacillated between anger and despair. Our friendship grew after that night and we shared a room for the next month until Mark transferred to Smackdown. Despite what everyone else thinks, I did not jump right into his bed. We kept things platonic for damn near six months before anything happened. Then one night we'd ended up in nearby areas, met up for a few drinks at a bar. We both tied one on pretty heavily and we were both pretty damn lonely and well... things just happened.

We talked about it the next morning and decided that since we weren't seeing anyone else that there was nothing at all wrong with keeping each other company when we were in the same area. I should clarify that I was more than happy to agree to it, because Mark is an extremely talented man when it comes to.... Whoops. You don't really want to hear about that, do you?

Hunter meanwhile had gone on a bender of meaningless conquests and continued to do so until he hooked up with Chris. Hunter, I'm sure thought that no one would be any wiser, but I'm not stupid. I noticed when the two of them started leaving the shows together. Even if I hadn't figured it out, Mark has huge connections when it comes to the rumor mill. He asked me one night if I'd heard about Hunter and Chris and I told him I already knew. Apparently Mark had heard it from a rather disgruntled Jay because he found out that Hunter cheated on Chris with Randy. Jay, Mark, and Adam have been really close ever since the whole Ministry angle that they worked together so whenever those two have a problem they eventually call Mark to talk about it. Jay was furious with Hunter and needed to vent to someone...Mark was that someone.

Finding out for sure that Hunter and Chris were together was rough. I couldn't believe that Hunter hadn't told me. We were still friends after all, even if we weren't as close as we had been before. I knew that Hunter had been attracted to him for a long time. Hell, from the night Chris debuted I could tell he was interested, but I wasn't worried about it then because I knew that Hunter would never cheat on me. That whole messy business with Randy was just that... a huge, huge mess orchestrated by Randy. I felt sorry for Chris and pissed at Hunter for hurting someone else. I'd also have to admit to being surprised that Chris forgave him. On top of all that was a twinge of jealousy here and there because no matter what I still loved Hunter...damn him.

The night that everything blew up on Hunter, I was there. I couldn't believe what I heard coming from Randy's mouth, but when Hunter didn't deny any of it I wanted to smack him upside the head. I've spent the last six months watching Hunter chase after Chris and I wondered why he couldn't have done that with me. It honestly hurt. Hunter's explanation earlier shed a different light on those last six months, but at the time I'd thought he was trying to get Chris back. Apparently he knew that Chris wasn't going to take him back, he just wanted a chance to explain things, which he did earlier today.

So how did we go from there to here? The reception...that would be Jay and Dave's reception. What a night. Both Mark and I noticed the tension between Adam and Chris. It was really odd that they were acting that way after practically jumping each other at the bachelor party. To be honest, Mark and I had been wondering if something had been going on there for a few months. Adam hadn't said anything to Mark, so he assumed that it was just strictly friendship, but you wouldn't have known it to see them together. They were the most couple-like non-couple that I've ever seen. Always touching each other, hell they practically lived in each other's pockets. That's why I couldn't figure out why Hunter kept chasing after Chris. Turns out from snippets we heard earlier that Chris and Adam hadn't actually gone from friendship to more until just last night, well if you don't count that super steamy kiss that they shared at the bachelor party.

Getting off track here...anyway Mark and I were both curious why the two of them were shying away from each other tonight and it turns out that having spent the night together, Chris bolted because of some unresolved issues with Hunter. In the process of trying to resolve those issues, Hunter ended up kissing Chris and Adam saw it. God what a mess. I swear both Chris and Hunter needed smacked for that little blunder...I took care of smacking Hunter, but I think I'll let Adam take care of smacking Chris if need be. But the thing that changed my whole night was a comment that Hunter made while explaining the situation to Mark and me.

"I thought that maybe I was in love with him, but he pointed out that I couldn't be because I'd already given my heart to someone else a long time ago. And he was right."

I had already had a weird feeling that something had changed with the way Hunter kept staring at me during the ceremony. Then there were the dirty looks he was shooting my way when Mark announced that the trip invite to Adam was my idea. It was my idea, but only as a means to see what kind of reaction it provoked in Chris. I ended up getting two for the price of one with that one. And then there was Hunter's comment when Mark was confronting him about his part in the mess with Chris and Adam. I swear to god I could not breathe when he first said it. I didn't even have to ask who he meant since he was looking right at me when he said it. True he didn't actually come out and use the "L" word, but that was probably the closest he's been to it in regards to me. He never had a problem expressing how much he wanted me or needed me, but the whole time we were together the word "Love" never passed his lips.

After Hunter's plan bombed and Hunter had to join the others up on stage for the dance party marathon, Mark and I had a little talk. I told him that I thought I should at least talk to Hunter and see what was going on. He wasn't happy about it at first because he still doesn't trust Hunter not to hurt me, but I told him that if there was a chance that he'd changed it was worth the risk to me to find out. Mark grumbled and groaned as he is wont to do, but he finally said that he understood. Then Adam cornered Mark and tried to get the truth of the set up out of him. That was damn hilarious. I've never seen Mark that uncomfortable before.

Then we got caught up in the drama with Chris and Adam again. Adam looked like he wanted to brain Jay for slipping Chris' birthday present in with their wedding presents. A very nice present it was too. Though Chris, as is proper, was more impressed with the thought behind the gift than what Adam spent on it. I can't blame Adam for trying to do a runner...I mean geez, with all of us staring at him like that and then Benoit had to open his mouth about wishing his other half would buy him gifts like that. Considering that he and Chris at the time weren't "other anything" except maybe friends was a good enough reason for him to bolt. Jay wasn't about to let that happen though and sent Dave after him. Adam damn near screamed down the building after being tossed over Dave's shoulder. I wouldn't have been screaming...or maybe I would have since Dave was clearly off the market and it wasn't going to be for pleasurable purposes.

After Jay kicked the boys out of the reception, and that was a blast let me tell ya, Hunter came up to talk to me. He asked how I was doing, that sort of thing. I kept expecting him to say something else, but apparently he wasn't ready at that point. He said he had a lot of things to do before he could make any concrete plans and then took off after Jay and Dave. I guess I understand since he wasn't sure exactly what he was going to have to cover since Adam and Chris weren't there anymore. I went looking for Mark and found him standing a little ways from the exit, clearly looking at Randy. I could tell he was debating with himself and since he didn't know for sure what my plans were for the rest of the night, he wasn't sure what he should do.

I told him I was going to stick around and talk to Hunter. I mean he had to have some free time later, even if I had to ride along to the airport. Mark didn't look too enthusiastic and growled at me some more. It didn't hurt my cause at all that Randy chose that moment to walk by on his way towards the exit. I poked Mark in the ribs and told him that the same thing that I had said earlier applied to him as well, if Randy could change then maybe he was worth it too. Of course I didn't sound near as convincing about Randy as I had about Hunter, which is probably why Mark stuck his tongue out at me before heading off to intercept the little pain in the ass. Randy looked surprised as hell that anyone was bothering to stop him from leaving. Of course his eyes sure lit up when he saw who it was. I'm definitely keeping an eye on that situation.

I finally got the chance to track down Hunter, who had managed to pry Ric away from Al for a few minutes. Talk about your odd couple, though they do look kind of cute together in a weird way...they need to lose the mannequin head though. They were in the process of trying to find the keys for the car that Jay and Dave had arranged to use for the ride to the airport. Luckily they had access to my brain because they were debating who was going to call Adam and ask him where they were. I would have offered up Mark's car rather than interrupt that fun conversation just to get a set of keys. After my suggestion of checking with Jay first, Hunter proclaimed me brilliant. I don't know about that, but it turned out that Jay did indeed have the keys.

That was when Hunter asked me if we could talk after he dropped Jay and Dave at the airport. I considered asking to ride along, but that's when I conveniently remembered that my things were in Mark's room. I was sure Hunter wouldn't want a third during our conversation, especially if that third happened to be Mark, and it would have been if worse if Mark had Randy with him. With the history between Hunter and Randy that could have been rather explosive. I probably didn't react how he had expected me to. I simply said "Of course we can talk Hunter, we are friends, aren't we?"

Okay so maybe I could have been nicer about it, but I was still stinging over the whole not telling me about Chris thing. Of course once I saw that cute little pout he gave me...well I thought it was cute anyway...I had to relent. I told him we could talk in my room, but I wasn't making any promises about the outcome. That at least earned me a little smile and an invitation to dance with him again. After lingering in his arms for two slow dances, I offered to help him load all the gifts in the cars that Hunter and Ric were driving that night.

I think maybe Mark caught him for "a talk" after that because both of them disappeared for a bit. Hopefully Mark didn't threaten anything too important because Hunter's rather attached to his body parts and to be honest there are a few that I'm rather fond of as well. A short while later Mark told me that he'd actually managed to ask Randy to join him for a drink back at the hotel. Randy had apparently accepted, but Mark hadn't wanted to leave until he found out if I was in need of a ride or not.

Since I'd already determined that I had to get my things out of his room, I figured that hitching a ride back with him was the best way to go. I accepted his offer and thankfully he and Randy weren't to the touchy-feely stage yet, because to tell you the truth if I'd had to watch that I probably would have felt the need to make gagging sounds. Then Mark might have felt the need to tie me up and spank me...his normal method of punishment when I made fun of him. I wouldn't normally mind that because it would mean he'd fuck me silly afterwards, but considering the fact that we're looking at seeing other people right now, it probably wouldn't have been the smartest move we could have made, especially since Randy would have been with us at the time. That thought is just...Eww.

Whoa, way off track again. So now I'm here waiting for Hunter to show up and hoping that he really wants to work things out this time. It will only work if he's honestly willing to change, because I can't go back to him if things are going to be the same as before...it hurts too much.

I can't...and I won't.

*Hunter's POV*

I think this has been one of the longest days of my entire life and it's not over yet, although I am looking forward to talking to Shawn. I'm hoping by some miracle that he'll be willing to give me another chance. We used to be together until I fucked everything up. Yes, I do blame myself because I know how much my actions hurt Shawn. I should know because he told me in deafening detail the day that he ended 'us'. Not that he hadn't given me a chance to fix things before he left, but I couldn't give him what he wanted and he couldn't accept any less...so he had no choice, he left me.

I got the token "we'll always be friends, but I can't be with you anymore" speech and then he was gone. I don't know for sure when he hooked up with Mark. It could have been that same day...they aren't really open about the fine details of their relationship. They are rather open about the fact that they have a relationship though, everyone in the fed is aware of it. Of course if rumor is to be believed their relationship isn't based on love, except the love of close friends. Since Shawn agreed to talk to me I'm going to guess that that is basically true. I guess if he wasn't looking for love after we split up, hot sex with Mark would sound like a good deal.

I, on the other hand, ended up falling into a string of one-night stands. Amazing how many rookies think a night of sex will get them a push in this company. Yeah, maybe I was a bastard for not correcting their misconception, but I wasn't at my spectacular best then. I was too hurt to care if I was hurting anyone else. Then I happened to run into Chris at a bar. We were both pretty plowed and a night of really hot sex with someone that I'd had an interest in before sounded like a really good idea, except it didn't end there. We got together the next week...I issued the invitation to come back to my room and he accepted. The more we got together, the more I wanted it. I didn't even realize I was getting attached until I went to his room one night and he didn't answer the door. I was...irate to put it nicely. After confronting him the next day about where he had been, we ended up in a relationship.

It was great and it kept getting better. If I couldn't be with Shawn, then being with Chris was the next best thing. I wouldn't let those thoughts linger though. Long and short of it is...I fell in love with Chris or I thought I had. There might have been that lingering doubt that it wasn't as good as what I'd had with Shawn, but since I couldn't have Shawn it was the best that I was going to get. Looking back on it now I know that that wasn't really fair to either of us, but at the time I was in too much of a panic over having fallen for Chris to take note. That's when the whole debacle with Randy happened. Things went from bad to worse and then Chris left me as well. I can't blame him though...I'd have left me if I were him, too.

I spent the next six months trying to talk to Chris. Not hoping that he'd take me back, because that was pretty much an impossibility, but just to explain things to him. For some reason I wanted him to know that even though I was a bastard, I wasn't as big a bastard as Randy had painted me to be. I couldn't get near him though. If he wasn't with Jay or Dave, he and Adam were attached at the hip. It was pretty damn clear that I wasn't going to talk to him unless it was what he wanted and he didn't. Not once in all those months did I get a moment alone to talk to him. Imagine my surprise when he showed up at Dave's hotel room this morning...alone. Of course at that point I didn't realize that he was looking for me. That's when I told him that I'd fallen in love with him and that's why I'd cheated on him. Yeah, it doesn't make sense, but it did at the time...to me anyway.

Dave interrupted that conversation, but we did finish it at the reception hall...Chris pretty much insisted on it and I'm damn glad that he did. We cleared the air on a lot of things and he's the one that pointed out that I couldn't be 'in love' with him because I was still in love with Shawn. Chris is a genius. He was right of course. Me, I'm not so much the genius. I asked him if I could kiss him goodbye and the shit hit the fan, because Adam, his new love interest, caught us in the middle of said kiss. That was...really not good. Adam has a bit of a temper and Chris was pretty sure that he wasn't going to just calmly listen to an explanation. To make a long story short...a group of us tried several different tactics during the reception to give Chris a chance to tell Adam the truth...none of which worked out. Finally Jay kicked them both out of the reception and sent them back to the hotel to talk. I really do hope they work things out. Even if I'm not in love with Chris, I do still care about what happens to him and I want him to be happy...really.

Chris told me that I should try talking to Shawn and I thought I should call him sometime...only he had shown up at the reception with Mark. Despite not wanting to piss Mark off, for obvious reasons, I did ask Shawn if we could talk tonight. He agreed, which means he might be willing to give me a second chance. God, I hope so.

Mark...Mark really surprised me. I mean he and Shawn have been lovers for...quite awhile, though I'm not sure exactly how long. I know he really cares about Shawn, but apparently Mark is aware that Shawn still has feelings for me and apparently Mark has feelings for someone else as well. He caught up with me after we loaded the gifts in the cars so that we could ship them to Jay and Dave's new house later. I got the standard "Deadman" warning...that being if I hurt Shawn again, they wouldn't be able to identify my body. That was only slightly better than Adam's threat earlier in the night when he thought I was back together with Chris. At least if Mark kills me they will be able to find my body. What can I say...I'm a popular guy.

Before I could talk to Shawn, I had to take Dave and Jay to the airport. Adam was supposed to do it, but since Jay sent him on his way the job fell to me. I didn't mind doing it, but I really wish the drive were shorter. I'm nervous as hell. I really hope that I can convince Shawn that I'm being sincere. Of course the fact that I'm actually going to tell him that I love him is a change for me. I never said it. I may have shown him in some ways when we were together...alone, but I've never actually said it to him out loud. I'm not sure if that will make any difference, but I can hope so. I can also hope that he's willing to let me prove it.

Read Chapter 2 of 10 of Probation