Shawn stood in horrified shock in the door of the hotel room. Paul didn't even pause in his packing to look at him. Paul picked up his bags and began to walk out. Shawn stared at him incomprehensively as Paul stopped next to him. He placed something in Shawn's hand. As Shawn looked down and saw the golden ring in his palm, the door closed behind him.

I can't find a reason to let go/ Even though you've found a new love/ And she's what your dreams are made of

That had been two months ago and Shawn was still waiting for Paul to get tired of Melanie. Every step he heard in the hall, every touch on the shoulder, every whisper, every murmur was Paul coming back to him. Shawn ached from the waiting.

I can find a reason to hang on/ What went wrong can be forgiven/ Without you it ain't worth livin' alone

When Shawn had finally quit and headed home, the Kliq had moved in. They were scared he'd kill himself. Shawn couldn't say the thought hadn't crossed his mind, but he'd never seriously considered it. The despair he showed with life cemented them in his home despite his protests. Shawn didn't tell them, but they made it easier to keep from considering it.

Sometimes I wake up cryin' at night/ Sometimes I scream out your name/ What right does she have to take you away/ When for so long you were mine

Shawn found he couldn't sleep in the bedroom. It was *their* bed, and the hazy memories of skin, teeth, tongues, and love made him even more depressed. Every time he fell asleep in there, he'd wake up sobbing and calling for Paul. He'd end up in Kevin's arms begging to know why. Why had she taken Paul away?

I took out the pictures of our wedding day/ It was a time of love and laughter/ Happy ever after

One day, Shawn and Sean sat on the floor in the living room going through boxes of old pictures. Shawn had found the ones from Paul and his commitment ceremony. He held his favorite picture in his hand, remembering the moment. Paul had decided Shawn would make the perfect table decoration, and when he's refused Paul had thought it logical to climb on the table to force him. Their combined weight was too much and the table broke.Kevin, Scott, and Sean stood behind them laughing hysterically at their bewildered expressions as they sat in the midst of the ruins. In the middle of the whole scene, PJ had grabbed a camera and immortalized the moment.

But even those old pictures/ Have begun to fade

Sean and him had laughed about the picture until Shawn pulled the picture out of the box of him and Paul ending the ceremony with a kiss. The photo was faded almost beyond recognition. The comparison his mind unwillingly drew between the picture and their love made sobs wrack his pale frame.

Please tell me she's not real/ And that you're really comin' home to stay/ Sometimes I wake up cryin' at night/ And sometimes I scream out your name/ What right does she have to take your heart away/ When for so long you were mine

That night was one of the worst, despite the fact Shawn was sleeping on the couch. He woke from a nightmare that Paul was gone to the cold reality it wasn't a just a dream. The Kliq had ran to him at the sounds of sobs and a broken voice calling desperately for Paul. Kevin held him in his arms as Scott and Sean curled against them on either side trying to calm him, but nothing reached him through the curtain of pain. Hours later, Kevin stared down on the whimpering figure that had finally succumbed to an exhausted sleep and vowed to Scott that Paul would pay for the pain he had caused.

I can give you two good reasons/ To show your love's not blind/ He's two and she's four/ And you know they adore you/ So how can I tell them/ You've changed your mind

There was one problem that no one knew how to handle. Two adopted children that Shawn and Paul had raised from infants. Jake and Lizzy still thought that Paul was on tour, but Shawn knew soon he'd have to tell them the truth. How could he explain to them that the man who played with them, who sang to them, who tucked them into bed at night and promised to love them forever had decided he didn't want them anymore?

Sometimes I wake up cryin' at night/ And sometimes I scream out your name/ What right does she have to take your heart away/ When for so long you were mine/ I remember when you were mine

A year later, things were better. Shawn and the kids were moving on, but there were still nights Shawn would find himself waking with tears on his cheeks and a familiar name on his lips. There were still times that Jake and Lizzy would look at him as if waiting for him to bolt for the door and leave them too. Those times were getting fewer and farther between though. Slowly Shawn found his smile, and the kids found their trust, but they would never be free from the memories. Memories of a man that held them all in different ways, but all of them loving. Memories of a glow in bright eyes that always returned with the dropping of a persona at the door. Memories of love...