Matt sat in his father's barn looking over the brown stubbled fields spread out before him. The day was raw and cold. The damp of last night's rain heavy in the air with the smell of more rain yet to come. A gust of wind came through the open loft door stirring his loose dark brown curls and causing him to shiver slightly from the chill. He rubbed his hands over his arms and leaned further out to peer at the house in the distance. Jeff was there, visiting their father. He sighed and leaned back into the hay breathing in the dusty smell, his dark brown eyes clouded.

Matt closed his eyes to keep the hot tears from spilling down his cheeks. He ached to go to the house and see Jeff but he was afraid that he would fall apart if he did, so in the barn he remained. He understood Jeff's point about wanting to see people openly; he had been tired of hiding their relationship too. They had agonized over the decision for months before finally deciding that they should see other people.

Matt had tried to stay around after their breakup for almost a month. He had tried to be only a brother to Jeff. But the memory of Jeff being in his bed wouldn't go away. Being near him and not being able to pull him into his arms was torturing him. Finally, Matt had asked Vince if he could move to Smackdown. He knew that he couldn't stay around his brother and move on so he decided to leave, for both their sakes.

The last several months had been absolute hell. Matt spent his time at home and at the pay-per-views avoiding Jeff. He was afraid of what he'd do if he saw him again. He had promised his brother this chance to start a new life for himself and even though it was killing him he was going to give Jeff that chance. Matt taped every Raw show and sat in his hotel room watching the scenes with Jeff over and over again until they were burned indelibly into his mind.

Matt couldn't move on and he was beginning to think that they had made a horrible mistake. Yeah they couldn't tell anyone about their relationship, but he would never love anybody the way he loved Jeff. Nobody understood him so well, his drive, his ambitions; the little nagging worries that sometimes kept him awake at night unable to sleep. Jeff could soothe him with just his presence. Whatever happened the brothers knew that they could make it as long as they had each other. But now they didn't. Matt had removed himself from the equation.

Matt didn't know which solution hurt him more. Having Jeff near or keeping him at a distance, either way his arms were still empty. Matt let out a choked sob and curled over on his side burying his face in the crook of his arm. He let the tears flow from his eyes hoping that they would offer him some kind of emotional release but when he was done he just felt drained and still achingly empty. Matt stared unseeingly out the loft door as the afternoon wore on. The sky imperceptibly darkened and a light misty rain began to fall increasing the chill in the air until Matt could feel it sinking into his bones.

Dimly Matt heard the sound of a car start up and roar off. He sighed and sat up pulling off the stray bits of straw that were clinging to him. He should return to the house and face his father's sidelong glances. He wouldn't ask what was wrong that wasn't his style but he would wonder and worry. Of course if this continued into the holiday season he would sit the both of them down for a talking to. What the hell was he supposed to do? Matt sighed and slowly made his way down the ladder reluctant to leave the shelter of the barn. He told himself that he was being silly but it didn't seem to have any effect.

Matt heard the barn door open and turned around in surprise as a figure slipped through the slight opening. His heart lurched in his chest at the sight of Jeff and then began to beat uncontrollably. Damn he was so beautiful. His hair lay against his face in damp tendrils. His green eyes bored into Matt's as he took in the vision before him. Jeff shut the door behind him and hunched his hands into his jeans pockets looking uncomfortable. He was so pale and his eyes were tired. Matt automatically took a step forward ready to pull Jeff into his arms and forced himself to stop.

When I look into your eyes
I can see a love restrained
But darlin' when I hold you
Don't you know I feel the same

'Cause nothin' lasts forever
And we both know hearts can change
And it's hard to hold a candle
In the cold November rain

We've been through this such a long long time
Just tryin' to kill the pain
But lovers always come and lovers always go
An no one's really sure who's lettin' go today
Walking away

If we could take the time to lay it on the line
I could rest my head
Just knowin' that you were mine
All mine
So if you want to love me
Then darlin' don't refrain
Or I'll just end up walkin'
In the cold November rain

Do you need some time...on your own
Do you need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

"What are you doing here?" Matt winced at the accusatory sound in his voice. "I didn't mean it that way Jeff, I…" his voice trailed off.

Jeff flinched and looked down at the floorboards scuffing his foot along them. "I… I wanted to see you again. I miss you." The last part was a barely perceptible whisper.

Matt watched him aching. He felt so incredibly awkward, a feeling he never had before with his brother. He desperately missed the closeness they once shared. "Dad left?" He asked more to fill up the silence than out of any really desire to know.

Jeff nodded. "He said he had to get some things from the store." His eyes flickered towards Matt then back to the floor again and he sighed. "I think he just really wanted to give us a chance to talk."

"Oh," Matt said. He struggled for a moment trying to think of something to say to break the awkward silence. Jeff shivered and Matt's eyes widened. "Jesus Jeff you're soaked through!" He grabbed Jeff's arm and pushed him gently towards the loft ladder finally galvanized into action by the sight of Jeff's blue lips.

Jeff crawled up the ladder and plopped down uncaringly into the hay. Matt grabbed one of the old blankets they kept up there and wrapped it around Jeff's shoulders. "Your skin is like ice," he murmured.

Jeff closed his eyes as Matt began rubbing his arms and shoulders through the blanket. "I wasn't sure if I should come in or not," he said softly by way of an explanation.

Matt ceased his motions and moved over to sit back in the hay watching his brother's face wordlessly. Jeff's hands tightened on the blanket and he drew it more firmly around him almost as if he was drawing on armor.

"Matt I," Jeff's eyes flickered towards him and Matt's breath caught at the wounded look in him. He had never seen Jeff look so defeated before. "I miss you." He said again softly his eyes searching Matt's for some sign of what he felt. "I need you." He took a deep ragged breath. "Being apart like this… I can't take it anymore."

"Jeff," Matt moaned his name softly burying his face in his hands. "I can't. I can't be around you and not have you. Don't you understand that?" Matt felt his heart tearing in his chest. He hadn't thought it possible that he could hurt anymore but he had been wrong.

Jeff stared at his brother for a long moment stunned. Matt had always been the strong one in their relationship and to see him so broken scared the hell out of him. "No," he said softly moving forward to brush Matt's hands away from his face. "You don't understand Matt. I need you," he breathed. "I was wrong to think that I could exist without you." Tears started to fall from his eyes and he laid his forehead against Matt's. "Please Matt."

Matt stared into Jeff's eyes unbelievingly. He wasn't sure if he was dreaming this or not. He reached out with trembling hands to cup Jeff's face. Jeff sighed and turned his cheek into Matt's hand kissing his palm. Matt pulled Jeff over to him, his lips whispering over his brother's. He pulled back slightly and looked into Jeff's eyes. "Are you sure Jeff? I need you to be sure."

"I'm sure." Jeff nodded. "I love you Matt. I made a mistake and I'm asking you to forgive me." Whatever else Jeff was going to say was drowned out by Matt's lips closing urgently over his own. He closed his eyes and groaned against his brother's mouth pressing Matt back into the hay as their lips devoured each other's hungrily. Matt shuddered; he had missed the feel of Jeff's lips on his own so bad. He could feel the ache in his heart slowly melt away being replaced by the love that they shared as lovers, something almost tangible.

Matt ran his tongue over Jeff's bottom lip and Jeff parted his lips, their tongues tangling together. Matt felt his heart was going to burst as he skimmed his hands over Jeff's body pulling him flush against him. He shivered from the intensity as he reacquainted himself with his brother's taste, his contours. Their breaths mingled as they devoured each other.

Jeff whimpered rubbing himself erotically against Matt. Matt pulled away slightly, brushing Jeff's hair lovingly away from his face. "I'm sorry too Jeff," he whispered. "Maybe I should have fought harder to keep you by my side."
"Shhhh," Jeff murmured raining soft kisses over Matt's face. "Let's not talk about regrets. Just make love to me like you used too," he said the pleading raw in his voice.

I know it's hard to keep an open heart
When even friends seem out to harm you
But if you could heal a broken heart
Wouldn't time be out to charm you

Sometimes I need some time...on my own
Sometimes I need some time...all alone
Everybody needs some time...on their own
Don't you know you need some time...all alone

Matt shuddered and swept Jeff back into his arms kissing him with unbridled passion. Jeff moaned completely lost in the feeling of helpless desire that flowed through him. It had been too long since he felt like he was where he belonged. He wrapped his arms around Matt and buried his hands in his hair kissing him back urgently.

Matt felt a surge of love and desire that went straight to his groin. He sat up pulling Jeff with him and quickly undid the buttons on Jeff's shirt pulling the damp cloth off him. Jeff shivered as Matt's hands rubbed circles over his skin trying to warm him with his touch. It seemed Matt's hands couldn't get enough of touching him. Jeff moaned his own hands reaching under Matt's shirt to caress his skin greedily.

They both pulled away panting slightly. Matt grabbed the blanket that Jeff had discarded and spread it out before lying Jeff tenderly back on it. He pulled off his own shirt and lay down next to his brother as Jeff reached out for him. As their tongues tangled feverishly again, Matt tried to control the flood of desire that was sweeping over him threatening to consume him. He wanted to make this last for Jeff, it had been so long.

Jeff wasn't making it easy for him. His hands skated down Matt's back and cupped his ass pulling him more forcefully against him so that their cocks rubbed together through the denim of their jeans. Matt groaned low in his throat and tore his mouth away from his brother's. He ran his tongue salaciously over the pulse in Jeff's neck and began working his way downward. He interspersed his kisses with gentle nips on Jeff's chest until his hot mouth closed over his nipple.

Jeff moaned arching against Matt. "Matt oh God, please." He whimpered. Matt suckled lovingly on the bit of flesh until it was a hard peak then laved his tongue over it before moving over to Jeff's other nipple. Jeff cried out softly his hand tangling in Matt's hair. " Don't stop," he pleaded hoarsely.

Matt knelt back on his heels and began removing Jeff's shoes and socks. Jeff watched him his green eyes hazy with passion. Matt tossed Jeff's shoes to the side and took Jeff's toe into his mouth. Jeff gasped as Matt moved from toe to toe, rubbing the instep of his foot gently. Matt kissed Jeff's ankle tenderly and picked up his other foot paying the same loving attention to it.

"Matt," Jeff cried biting his lip. He felt like he was on fire, no one could ever make him feel this way except for Matt. He didn't understand how he could have ever felt that anyone else would do.

"Shhh baby," Matt whispered. "Let me love you." Jeff whimpered but didn't resist as Matt continued his ministrations. Matt slowly unbuckled Jeff pants and undid the zipper. He worked the damp denim and boxers down over Jeff's hips and pulled them off to join the growing pile of clothes.

Jeff lay sprawled out naked before him. "Damn you're so beautiful," Matt said his voice shaking slightly. He drank in the sight of his lover's naked body running his hands over Jeff's skin. Jeff undulated his hips towards his brother a wanton, lust-filled look in his eyes. "Shameless too," Matt murmured leaning over to run his tongue up Jeff's thigh.

Jeff bucked his hips groaning. "Matt…more," he gasped.

Matt nibbled on the sensitive skin on Jeff's inner thigh before running his tongue up Jeff's cock. His own erection throbbed in his jeans as he closed his mouth over Jeff's member slowly deep-throating him. Jeff moaned and whimpered incoherently as Matt moved with a maddening pace running his tongue over him as he continued to bob his head slowly. Jeff writhed helplessly on the blankets completely lost in the sensations his older brother was giving him.

Matt groaned around Jeff's cock eagerly swallowing the drops of pre-cum, taking in again Jeff's musky scent. It was taking all of his control to continue to move slowly and not ravish Jeff the way his body was screaming to. Later, he promised himself as he fondled Jeff's balls rolling them in his hand before reaching down to slide one finger over Jeff's puckered entrance. Jeff bucked his hips slightly as Matt worked his finger into his tight heat gently so as not to hurt him.

Jeff thrashed on the blanket one hand going down to tangle in Matt's hair, his broken moans coming closer and closer together. The sight of Matt's mouth over him was sending him spiraling quickly towards the edge. Matt eased another finger in him and pressed against Jeff's prostate. Jeff let out a hoarse, strangled cry as his orgasm erupted through him. Matt continued to tease his sensitive spot, swallowing Jeff's seed greedily. He pulled back and allowed some of Jeff's cum to spill on his fingers. Then went back to stretching Jeff gently, adding another finger.

Jeff pulled Matt up to his level and kissed him frantically tasting the remnants of his essence on Matt's tongue. Matt moaned weakly at the assault, the intensity stealing his breath. Jeff began to feverishly work on Matt's jeans. Matt pushed his hands away and sat back, scrambling out of the rest of his clothes as quickly as he could. He bit his lip as his erection was freed from the confines of his clothes. Jeff half sat up closing his hand around Matt's cock and stroking his velvet hardness. Matt half-groaned, half-growled and pushed Jeff back down on the blanket and collapsed down next to him.

"Matt…" Jeff gasped closing his teeth over Matt's ear. "I need you inside me big brother. I can't wait anymore."

Matt shuddered and captured Jeff's lips in a searing kiss. Jeff arched against him rubbing his cock hard against Matt's. Matt pulled back with a groan and lifted Jeff's legs to his shoulders. "I love you Jeff," he whispered as he pushed himself slowly into his baby brother. He bit his lip painfully as Jeff's familiar tight heat surrounded him again. Jeff moaned and grabbed a handful of Matt's ass urging him further on.

Jeff lowered his legs wrapping them firmly around Matt's waist. "More…" he panted slightly, lightly raking his nails down Matt's back. Matt growled again low in his throat and pulled almost completely out before thrusting into Jeff again making sure he hit his brother's prostate. He watched Jeff's face as he slowly made love to him gradually quickening his pace. Jeff's eyes glowed with desire, his face a mixture of love and lust.

Matt groaned half picking up Jeff's hips so that he could sink into him deeper. Jeff whimpered, digging his nails into Matt's arms and writhing from the feeling of Matt inside him. This was the way it should be. It felt so right.

"Jeff…" Matt moaned softly. He picked up speed as Jeff's sounds of pleasure drove him quickly towards his limit. He reached his hand between them and firmly grasped Jeff's cock, stroking him in rhythm to his thrusts.

Jeff howled Matt's name as his second orgasm washed over him. Matt felt Jeff's cum splash over his belly and Jeff's muscles clench around his cock. He let a strangled sob as he erupted into Jeff, the pleasure overwhelming him completely. He gently slid out of Jeff and collapsed next to him, wrapping his arms around his baby brother. They lay together in silence, holding each other tenderly as they recovered, cuddling and listening to the rain feeling for the first time in a long time as if they were whole.

"Jeff," Matt murmured kissing his temple. "We'll find a way to make it work. I don't know how but we'll figure it out together."

Jeff nodded snuggling in closer. "Love you," he sighed happily.

Matt tipped Jeff's face towards him and kissed him deeply. "I love you too," he breathed.

And when your fears subside
And shadows still remain
I know that you can love me
When there's no one left to blame
So never mind the darkness
We still can find a way
'Cause nothin' lasts forever
Even cold November rain

Don't ya think that you need somebody
Don't ya think that you need someone
Everybody needs somebody
You're not the only one
You're not the only one