If I was your mother
Would you let me hold your hand
Would you say you were my baby
Would you always be my friend

If I was your mother
Could I teach you what's right
Could I tell you stories
Maybe tuck you in
And kiss you sweet goodnight

Tell me what I got to do
To make my life mean more to you
I could get so close it's true
If I was your mother

Would you always believe me
'Cause I'd wake up in the middle
Of the night
Just to see if you need me

Tell me there's no mother
To who you're telling your secrets
And would you tell me
'Bout all the boys you been
Bringing home to meet me

Tell me what I got to do
To make my life mean more to you
I could get so close it's true
If I was yours

Mother, mother
If I was your
Mother, mother

When love is blood
You're never on trial
Love don't get deeper
Than a mother & child
Oh baby, I got to get that
Close to you

Tell me what I got to do
To make my life mean more to you
I could get so close it's true
If I was yours

Tell me what I got to be
To make you a part of me
There's no one else you'd ever need
If I was your

Mother, mother
If I was your mother
Mother, mother

Mother, mother
If I was your mother
Mother, mother

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Matt's POV ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My hand slips through your hair highlighted blonde so that it doesn't look so much like mine. Your eyes have green contacts on them so that they don't look like the same color as mine either. Your body is kept carefully trim and lean so that it too doesn't look like mine. Leaning in I inhale your scent deeply and close my eyes letting the essence fill me as if we were becoming one. Although in my heart we already are… the problem is that you don't feel the same.

Since the day I took you into my arms as you cried, "why Matty why," I have loved you and sworn to protect you. I have longed to have you love me just as I love you, but always as everything else in my life I have come up short. I don't understand why, I don't understand what it is I have done wrong that would keep you from loving me the same as I love you. But you don't… and I think that I am finally coming to understand that.

Walking around in front of you I look into those green tinted eyes glaring at me so angrily and I can't help but wish for the day long ago when they looked up at me, eyes trimmed with tears, knowing that I was your entire world. You knew then that I would make everything ok and seemed to be content as long as we were together. But now you look at me with accusations and anger as if you hate the very sight of me, and the only thing that could make you happy now was my exit from your life.

But I can't do that. I can't give up. I can't leave. I just can't. I know you see… I know that I just have to find the right… thing, the right… moment, the right… feeling and you will understand what it is to be us and to be together. To hell with God and morals and eternity, you are my eternity and hell is living without you. What is morality if I am alone? You insist that what we have done in the past is wrong and that we have doomed our eternal souls, but you used to say that hell couldn't exist as long as we were together. You used to believe me when I said that we were all each other needed and to hell with the rest of the world.

You point at me and say I left first bringing Amy into our lives and ruining everything. You insist that I destroyed the dynamic that was us that you were just moving on with your life as I had, but I DIDN'T MOVE ON! How can you of all people who knows every nook and cranny of my heart, mind and soul not know that she is only an illusion? I don't love HER! She is only the trapping that allows me to move about in public. She is only the cover that allows US to EXIST! As long as she is around no one would believe that I really loved YOU! No one would fathom it as a possibility!

God I remember rocking you when we were kids and you were scared or upset. I would pull up into my lap and brush your hair back kissing your temples as I had remembered Mamma doing. But I don't think Mamma felt the things for you that I did. I wish we could go back to there. I could take care of you and you would want me to. Now you don't want me doing anything for you.

I can see your jaw clenching as I run a hand over your cheek and touch my lips softly to yours. There used to be a time when I was the only person in the world that you would let touch you like this. Now you sell your soul to the highest bidder letting them touch you, tainting your flesh with their scent and their filth. They paw your body and tear at your flesh as if they were ripping your very soul from your body so that they could gorge themselves upon it, drinking your blood as wine.

You used to love how I touched you so gentle and tender saying that there was nothing in heaven that could compare to this. Now you seek pain screaming for hell to come and get you, laughing that it never will because its afraid of you. My gentle little boy has vanished only to be replaced by this devil child, but still I love you believing that with MY LOVE I can bring my baby boy back to me.

My hands run down your stomach and I can feel the muscles contracting under my hand as trying to rob me of even the most miniscule amount of contact with you. They used to contract with need arching up into my hand as you begged me for more. My hands rise back up brushing the bandana I have used as a gag to stop the poison coming from your mouth.

They have brainwashed you against me. I didn't understand it… before. But suddenly it is so clear to me. Those that were jealous of me because they wanted you for themselves. They have found a way to break into your heart and mind and wipe the pleasure we shared from your memory. They are fools. There is nothing that can keep you from me. As soon as we are again joined as one man their stench and filth will be burned from you in the bright glory of our love and you will again remember that it is me that you love. It is me that you long to spend all of eternity with.

You will of course forgive me for the gag I had to use and the marks I had to put on you… I am afraid I may even have cracked a few ribs, but you will understand. You had to be punished for your misbehavior Jeffrey. But I know that you will understand once they are all gone from your mind. Once we are back together again. I will be like your mother loving you as a mother SHOULD, and you will be my baby boy looking up to me for all your cares and needs.

Stepping back to walk around you I almost fall backwards slipping on the wood surrounding us. Walking around your body I block out the stench of the gasoline I had poured over our bodies earlier instead pull the scent of the meadow behind our daddy's house that we made love in the first time from my mind preferring its scent knowing that you used to as well. I know you will understand Jeffrey. I have faith enough for both of us.

Picking up a tube of your favorite cherry flavored lube I stole from your bag last week I coat my fingers and ease them into your body carefully so as not to hurt you. I can feel your muscles contracting around my fingers as if you are trying to fight me off, and the feel of it makes my heart soar. You do remember some of it… you do remember the game.

When I was first teaching you you'd do this… pulling and screaming and crying… no fighting me with every chance you had, but I always knew that you meant yes. You were just making it better for us because you knew that I liked it that way and in the end I always won wearing you down with my love and tenderness. I noticed earlier that you weren't reacting as you should, but I am a patient man and I know that in time the game will excite you again as much as it does me. For now though I content myself with coating my aching cock with your lube eager to be inside of you again feeling you clench tightly around me.

I wish I could hear your screams and begging again, but alas we have to be quiet so as to not disturb anyone who may not understand. I promise my love that next time we can be at home and you can scream your beautiful head off. Slipping inside of you is everything that I remember it to be. So tight as you clench around me tight enough that it is a struggle, but I know that you still want this… as soon as I get rid of them… you'll thank me for this.

I long for the patience of our youth when I could just do this all day, but it has been so long since we were together like this and I need you so badly…. Quickly I set a fast rhythm needing to get to that moment so that I can cleanse you of them and then later… later, my love, I swear… I swear that I will take my time.

God it feels so good, so right. Never in my life have I been connected to someone like this where they felt as good as you and I can feel it coming. I can feel the cleansing rushing through my body to get to you and sanitize you of them. I lean my head forward to rest against yours as I pound and just before the moment comes I lift my hand ripping something off the rope hanging down from the high ceiling that is binding your hands and keeping you here with me. I can't help but laugh as I feel your tears on your cheeks and almost hear your screams. I know now that is it working. You are coming back to me.

I open my eyes wanting to see you in that final moment, but my mind must be playing tricks on me showing me images of you that aren't real. I hear you screaming at me to stop, but I know you don't mean it. You never have and never will. Lowering my arm I flick my thumb and swear I see tears in your eyes just before…

Brian's body convulsed with sobs, as Sean carefully cut the ropes and lifted him into his arms. Tearing the tape off of Brian's mouth the boy's words were an almost unintelligible garble of words except for one tiny sentence screamed over and over. "I'M NOT JEFF!"

Shannon stood watching the scene looking from Sean, who was cradling Brian Kendrick, to his friend who was still holding the smoking gun in his hand. He didn't even know what to say to him. What words can you possibly find to comfort someone who just killed not just their brother but the man who had been his father and mother too for most of his life. Turning his head Shannon looked at Matt's fallen body shivering at the lighter in his hand. "I don't understand. Why would he want to burn Brian?"

Jeff's let the gun fall to the floor putting his arms around himself knowing that it was only by the grace of God that he had not been there instead of Brian. "He wasn't burning Brian. He was cleansing me… with the bright glory of our love." Sean growled softly looking up at Jeff, his unspoken words of hatred for the still living brother evident in his eyes, and Jeff's eyes filled with tears before he turned and walked out like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders.

"That weren't nice, Sean, to growl at Jeffy like that," Shannon accused watching Jeff leave. "Weren't nice at all… if'n it weren't for Jeffy Brian would be well… burnt to a crisp." Sean growled again as Brian shook at the thought whimpering again. "IF IT WEREN'T FOR JEFF, BRIAN WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! If that sick fuck hadn't fucked his brother all those years…"

Shannon just sighed shaking his head. "You're wrong Sean. The only times Jeffy was with Matty was against his will. Matt gets kick out of hurting people cause that way he can 'soothe their pain'. He wasn't much in the sanity department ya know. Matt was obsessed with Jeff every since they was kids, but nobody ever b'lieved him. No one cept me and Shaney. Weren't Jeff's fault. Weren't Jeffy's fault at all." Shannon smiled softly down at Brian then took off after his friend and long time lover knowing he would need him. Matt had been trying to ruin the love he and Jeff shared since they had first met in the sixth grade and he wasn't about to let him succeed now that he was dead. No matter who he was… brother, mother or the very devil himself.

The End