"I know what this looks like -- what people think. It doesn't matter now, but I didn't use. I wanted to. I really wanted to. But I didn't."

Charlie watched the calm almost sad look on Jack's face and wondered what was going through his head.

"That's not what I asked, Charlie."

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

Later that evening, Charlie sat alone staring at one of the fires feeling like the outcast that he'd been his entire life. He couldn't get the conversation with Jack from earlier that day out of his head. Or forget the feel of Jack's gentle touch on his face and the reaction it had on his body.

"How are you feeling?"

Charlie heard the softly spoken words and looked up surprised for the second time that day to see Jack. "Like the most hated man on the island." Charlie couldn't stop himself from responding and didn't miss the sad look on Jack's face again before the man sat down next to him on the log.

"Don't worry, Charlie, they'll get over it. Pretty soon someone else will do something incredibly stupid and they'll be the evil of the week. This might be a smaller than normal selection of the general population, but some things don't change no matter where you go.

"Your intentions were good, your heart was in the right place, you just didn't see every possibility to what you'd seen in your dreams along with what Eko told you.

"Next time though, come to me first huh? I would've helped you work through it, Charlie."

Charlie nodded frowning knowing that once again he'd proved what an incredibly big fuck up he was. Once more he'd messed up and Jack was standing by his side. But why? Charlie sighed then turned his head to look at his friend unable to resist finally asking the question.

"Why, Jack? Why did you believe me when I said that I hadn't used when neither Locke nor Claire did? Why are you being nice to me after what I almost did to the baby, when even Hurley won't look at me? Why do you always come to my rescue out here? Why, Jack?"

Jack bowed his head trying to find the words to explain, but he was coming up short as was normal with this petite pretty. The feelings going on inside of him were something completely new for him. Or at least something that he'd never acknowledged or actively recognized as being what they were. If he were honest with himself he would admit Charlie was not the first man that he had ever been attracted to, but out here on this God forsaken island where there were polar bears that ate people and mysterious hatches that turned into bunkers worthy of any cold war enthusiast's dream there didn't seem to be any protection between himself and this growing need. Kate was apparently in love with Sawyer and Ana-Lucia was… well Jack didn't know what she was except no where near being able to pull his attention like Charlie could.

"Jack?"

Taking a deep breath, he turned his head to look at the other man, but before he could speak he got caught off guard by once again how pretty the other man looked even though he shouldn't. The fire cast an orange glow on his face and those eyes watched him with a need Jack didn't really understand, but the lips… it was the lips that held his attention captive. He'd been fantasizing their feel, their touch, their taste for weeks and now here they were poised not two feet from him. All Jack could think of was how badly he needed them right at that very second.

Charlie didn't even stop to think.

He saw that look in Jack's eyes and knew exactly what he was thinking, what he wanted, and didn't even stop to think about their current location or even to question the intelligence of kissing the other man when he knew little to nothing about his sexual taste except for the fact that he liked women, which did not work in Charlie's favor.

No, Charlie didn't stop to think. He just acted.

Quickly he slipped closer to Jack and before that look could disappear from his eyes Charlie had swooped in and captured those lips holding them with his own and momentarily he childishly decided that he was never letting go. He could feel Jack lean back on the log bracing himself with his hands, but Charlie was undeterred especially when the other man's lips parted giving him what seemed as a willing entrance to his mouth. So again…

Charlie didn't stop to think.

Completely wrapped up in the moment he had been thinking about since he'd seen Jack standing on the beach a picture of calmness amongst the chaos, Charlie pressed on clutching Jack's arms with his hands and deepened the kiss. This may be a once in a lifetime moment and Charlie was damned if he was not going to take full advantage of it. When he heard the soft moan come from Jack he would have shouted for joy if Kate and Claire hadn't chosen that very moment to make their presence known.

"Umm, Jack?"

"CHARLIE!!"

Charlie's head jerked up at the sound of Claire's shrill screech. Momentarily Jack was dazed damning the woman for interrupting them before remembering they were sitting in front of half the camp. Immediately his eyes fell to Charlie's face and was slightly in awe over what he saw there.

Yes there was shock at getting caught, but instead of the regret he'd expected or shame that Jack was fighting off himself there was only annoyance hiding beneath the shock. It was as if Charlie was completely acceptant over his feelings and had no problems with the fact that he'd just kissed another man in front of God and everyone. Jack saw Claire turn in a huff as Locke glared at them from behind her leading her and the baby off. Finally Jack saw some tiny regret on Charlie's face but noticed his gaze was turned upon the middle of her back… right where Aaron would be nestled. For the first time Jack wondered just what it was that had attracted Charlie to the woman, if it had been Claire herself or the infant she'd held in her womb.

Hearing some snickering Jack turned his attention once more finally looking at Kate and saw the twinkle in her eye as she at least tried to hide her amusement unlike Sawyer who was outright laughing rolling around in the sand with glee. Sometimes Jack really hated that man.

Scanning the crowd Jack saw Ana standing somewhere in the dark and while he couldn't see her face at that moment he didn't much care. His body was pointing out to him how effected it had been by Charlie's kiss and he could see the younger man eyeing him.

Looking at Charlie, Jack now saw the regret and sadness and again he wondered what was going on in Charlie's head. "Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't stop to think I just… Jack please…"

Bounding up off the log, Jack shot Sawyer a dirty look while Kate grinned at him still and grabbing Charlie's hand ran down the beach before he swerved up into the woods. Hands clasped the two ran until they could run no more collapsing onto the green floor of the woods their chests heaving and pulses racing but the cause for neither one of them was the run alone.

Jack lay on his back looking up at the canopy formed by the trees above him, when Charlie's face appeared above his own. The regret was back in his eyes and clearly visible to Jack even in the darkness. "Jack I…"

"Charlie if you apologize again I am going to be mad at you," Jack threw out quickly growing worried that Charlie regretted his actions not because of their audience, but because of something to do with Jack himself.

"You… you aren't mad at me? I mean I thought… Hell Jack I know that look. I've seen it from hundreds of men and woman alike, but I never imagined… I mean I've been wantin' to… ever since I saw you standin' there in all that chaos the first day I haven't been able to stop thinkin' that… you really aren't mad at me?"

Jack couldn't help but laugh as his arms wrapped around Charlie bringing the smaller man down to him. "No, Charlie, I really am not mad at you. How could I be when just before you kissed me I really was thinking how very much I needed you to just as you suspected. I just… I've never… I mean…"

Charlie pushed himself up wide eyed and this time grinning as he looked at the now fumbling man. "You've never been with a man before! You mean I'm your first!"

Jack laughed again glad the dark was hiding his blush as Charlie bounced up and danced around. Shaking his head Jack waved his hand at the other man catching his wrist and pulling him back down. "Come back down here before you fall and break your ankle. Sawyer would just LOVE that."

Charlie put his head on Jack's chest grinning. "To hell with Sawyer, you really like me. God Jack I can teach ya everythin' if ya want I mean… I've never done it before but God knows I know plenty about both ends of the matter. The doin' part is a little tricky, but the bein' done to part… wow Jack now there is the best…"

Again Jack smiled pulling Charlie close to him then took a deep breath thinking about his new boyfriend. "Charlie, Can I ask you a question?" Jack could feel Charlie's head moving on his chest as he nodded.

"Of course Jack. You can ask me anything."

Taking a deep breath Jack thought back to the kiss and couldn't help but feel some of those deep rooted fears he'd never acknowledged. "How can you be so… carefree about all of them having seen us? I mean what will they say? What if some of them hate us now? Claire is obviously mad. Aren't you worried that she'll never forgive you now? What if they kick us out and we are outcasts? Aren't you worried about any of this?"

It was Charlie's turn to sigh as he considered each of Jack's questions carefully before answering. After all once he had been as frightened as Jack was now. It was all just a part of being who they were.

"I don't care what they think about me, I mean not for myself anyway. I care because obviously it upsets you, but I refuse to be ashamed of whom I am. True I don't go around shoving it in people's faces, but, Jack, that's just common sense. There will be those that will react negatively no matter what we do now, but I try not to worry much about them unless they are a physical threat. You can't go around living your life worrying about what everyone else will think of every action you make.

"As for what will they say, well I am sure that it'll just rack up one more notch in the Charlie is a complete loom column. When you said they'd move onto something new I didn't think I would still be the something new. I am sure there will some that will be ugly about it and there will probably be others that will be embarrassed by it just because they've never known any gay men before, Jack, but again, I don't worry about that only that it worries you.

"Someone is always bound to hate us Jack no matter what we do with our lives whether it's for being gay or because they don't like the color of our shoes. So why should we concern ourselves over people who are going to be so narrow minded about a little kiss. As long as we don't flaunt ourselves and try and shove something in their faces they may not be ready for why should they care? You jus' gotta be respectful about it all, Jack.

"As for Claire… fuck Claire. I am sorry because now she won't ever let me see Aaron again, but as far as Claire herself goes… she was my friend and I cared for her, but she doesn't really have any faith in me so why should I cry over spilled milk. It was different when I thought everyone in the camp hated me, but now that I know I have you Jack… hell that's more than I'm used to having and as long as we are together then we can get through whatever comes. So if Claire wants to hold a grudge forever then let her. That is her cross to bear not mine.

"As for being an outcast… I've been an outcast most of my life man. The only difference is now there isn't so much to distract myself with, which turns out to be both good and bad at the same time.

"And to answer your last question, yeah I am worried, but only for you Jack. I could give a turtle's fart for myself, but this is all new to you and you aren't like me. I worry that the pressure and their negativity will let them take you from me. You're all that I worry about, Jack, not myself… just you."

Unsure of how to speak past the lump in his throat Jack's arms tightened around Charlie as he rested his cheek against the top of the other man's head. "Thank you Charlie."

Charlie frowned against Jack's chest and lifted his head confused. "For what, Jack?"

Placing both of his hands on Charlie's face Jack touched their lips together once more, but Charlie quickly broke the kiss grinning down at his love. "Lesson one Jack, never run off to shag without taking something to use for lube with you."

Jack laughed and rolled his head to one side spotting a torch off at the edge of the woods. "We better go then. It looks like someone at least has come looking for us."

Quickly Charlie bounced up and extended a hand helping his new man to his feet then they carefully made their way out of the woods with Jack's arm wrapped firmly around Charlie's shoulders. As they got closer to the torch Jack made out Kate's face and heard Sawyer's drawl followed by Kate and Sayid's laughs.

"Something funny?" Jack asked bravely as the two men finally made it out of the woods. He was glad to see Kate smile softly at Charlie and hoped that this meant she was willing to forgive him for the whole putting the baby in the ocean thing.

Sayid turned and smiled at the pair slapping Jack on the arm in that man's translation of everything's ok. "Sawyer was just telling us about the look on Locke's face when he saw you two." Sayid giggled and Jack looked at Sawyer who was grinning.

"I am happy to say the man was obviously disturbed, but I hafta wonder if it's because he was disgusted or jealous. I think ya stole his man, Jack. Ol' L0cke hada crush on our little music man there. Good thing you saved him."

Charlie gagged with disgust at the thought of doing anything of that nature with Locke and Jack couldn't help but laugh and grin glad that he'd pissed off the annoying man once more. Locke was becoming a problem, but Jack wasn't going to think about him tonight.

As Sun and Jin joined them, Sun also smiling softly at Charlie, Jack felt himself relax, but he knew it was more from Charlie's hand running up and down his back than the acceptance he was getting from his friends. As the seven of them laughed and chatted, Jack somehow knew that it wasn't going to be this easy with everyone, but like Charlie said…. As long as they were together they could get through whatever was to come. Jack just hoped that the bad would hold itself off for awhile.

The End