When was I supposed to make my entrance
How was I to know I had a chance
Now here's a guy who really thought he had it all
My heart was holding up the wall so I could dance


He sat listening to Elijah go on and on in the way he does talking about himself and all the people that are supposed to love him. There wasn't a one of them that wasn't fond of him, but there were times especially now when he thought that he could happily strangle Elijah until those beautiful blue eyes popped right out of his head. He had masterfully turned the conversation to his favorite subject, Sean, just hoping for information on his secret crush knowing that Lijah kept close tabs on him… thinking it was for an entirely different reason that it obviously was. As the young man prattled on and on Orlando's mind wandered back to New Zealand thinking about the three years he spent in torment wondering how much of that time could have been spent in loving bliss. The kicker was that if it weren't for Elijah's big mouth and adolescent understanding of the word secret then he would have never known what he had missed. Somehow the thought gave him a strange sense of dualism as he wanted to strangle him for not telling him 'til now and at the same time wanted to kiss him for telling him at all.

He had to laugh at all the people that looked at the six of them putting them into their nice and tidy relationships assuming they knew by just looking at the six of them as to who loved who and who was just fucking the other. The truth was though that other than Billy and Dom no one had it right. While it was true that he and Viggo had been fucking it had one been out of convenience as neither of them felt that they stood a chance with the one they really longed for. Viggo was mad for Dom watching him with a veiled lust that Orlando was shocked had remained hidden from the eyes that had not been his. He himself had been head over heels for Sean, but never thought that he wasn't enamored with his little Elijah. Elijah it seemed hadn't really favored any of them and looking back Orlando had to admit that with his age that made more sense than anything else. Unfortunately for Viggo though Dom was crazy about Billy and the feeling was wholeheartedly returned and Orlando highly doubted that any opportunity for anything resembling a relationship would present itself to his friend.

So there they had been stuck in a country they weren't familiar with, in love with people they couldn't get, and too horny and heartsick to wait and see how things played out. Now looking back he still couldn't regret his time with Viggo though for if anything it had earned him a good friend and given him someone to warm his bed at night. Now though he wasn't interested in casual fucks anymore. He'd had too many to care about anything unattached. All he wanted now was something… perminant.


The last of my romances has concluded
Wars I've lost and loved have thus been fair
The battle scars I've gained have all alluded
To a decorated soldier of despair


Orlando realized that Elijah had fallen quiet and was watching him, but wasn't in the mood to humor him instead let his mind continue to wander down the paths of his quenched lust. There weren't many of the big names left for him to conquer. Viggo in LoR, Johnny in Pirates, even Brad in Troy had all visited his bed keeping him company on long lonely nights not to mention the Bean and Elijah and Eric and all the others that had filled in when the others had been occupied or otherwise unavailable. Each time he had batted his eyelashes and pretended that it was something more than just a casual affair, and yet every time when the camera finally stopped for good and it was time to say goodbye it was he that smiled and said, "I'll see ya around." Knowing each time that while friendships might be kept nothing else would for in his heart of hearts there remained only one that he longed to keep by his side.


Baby I just had to see you Your face, your smile Baby I just had to see you Just for a while


Closing his eyes he pulled up the picture that he kept in his head of his one true love. Those loving eyes of his were known for bathing someone in comfort or understanding as he was always the first one to lend a hand or an ear or shoulder to whoever the needy person was. That smile of his could brighten even the darkest day as it lit up his entire face transforming it from an old man in a young body to the happy hobbit he had portrayed. Of them all it had been him that seemed to be the most like his character. Loyal and dependable were just part of who he was not things he had needed to conjure up to convince an audience of the part he played.

Sometimes Orlando would fake need knowing in his heart that it was wrong, but never able to damn himself for it keeping Sean up long past his bedtime knowing he would fall asleep on the bed lying next to him. Those times had been the most precious for Orlando as they had given him the opportunity for things that he didn't imagine that he would ever be granted to receive otherwise. As the eyelashes rested closed, Orlando would run his hand over the soft cheeks and lips wondering what they would taste like, but never brave enough to take it without permission. It somehow had seemed wrong as if he would be sullying the fragile unborn love he was nurturing in his heart. He had always known or at least believed that Sean's heart belonged to Elijah and that when the sun rose it would be he that Sean scurried back to and his lips that Sean would embrace with his own with love and tenderness.


I ran from love to love and lied with laughter
Not knowing that at some point I'd collide
With someone who would be my ever after
And happily would stay here by my side


He'd been so naive before he'd found Sean. Telling himself and everyone else that there was nothing that forever held that attracted him. And yet no sooner had he laid his eyes on Sean than he had known almost instantly why people had always rolled their eyes at him and smiled as if they knew that moment would come eventually. They of course had been right and now there he sat in his chair in his American apartment heartsick for something that seemed entirely too far away. If only there was a way to know for sure that Elijah was telling the truth and not up to one of his schemes that while always well meaning seemed to be always doomed from the start. If only there was a way to see the ending now and know how things were going to go that way he could judge ahead of time if the risk was acceptable. "You wanna go with me to see Sean?"


Baby I just had to see you
Your face, your smile
Baby I just had to see you
Just for a while


Orlando turned his eyes finally back to his friend looking at the face that appeared so angelic, but Orlando was well aware of the monster child that it could hide. He studied the face looking for some sign of devilishness there, but could not see a sign of anything. His head played the question over and over in his head listening to Elijah's words bounce off the walls of his skull and feeling the longing building rapidly with each time the question was asked. Did he want to see Sean? More than he wanted his next breath was the answer that sounded in his head and when Elijah giggled at him he realized that the answer had not gone unspoken as he had intended. Blushing lightly Orlando looked down at his hands twisted together tightly until his knuckles had become white. Soundlessly he nodded then looked up at Elijah hoping desperately that his friend could this time be trusted to be telling the truth.

The next day as he stood on the doorstep of Sean's home with Elijah in front of him he tried to convince himself that should Elijah be lying he would be able to live with the pain and yet the voice in his head that reminded him of Viggo called him a liar and he knew that it was the truth. When the door was opened he was hit with that smile that he had missed more than almost anything. Like a fist to his gut Orlando felt the air rush out of his body and unconsciously pushed Elijah out of the way in his urge to get to Sean. "What are you doing here?" He heard, but for the life of him he couldn't find the words to answer as Elijah giggled next to him. Without thinking only letting his heart guide him for once Orlando sunk his hands on the dark hair of his heart's desire pulling those lips to his finally and almost groaned at their sweet taste and almost came out of his skin as he felt a pair of arms wind their way around his neck. Letting his arms drift downward Orlando wrapped them around Sean's back bringing the other man's body up tight to his moaning at the feel of the sensation.

Finally when air became an issue Orlando reluctantly broke the kiss as they both gasped for air. Looking into the eyes dazed with passion, Orlando didn't know how he had managed to make it this long without the other man. "I just had to see you." He finally answered pulling Sean close again closing his eyes as he rested his cheek in his hair. "I had to see you so that I could tell you… I think I love you Sean Patrick Astin." Closing his eyes Orlando rested his forehead against Sean's glad that the truth was finally out. Maybe now he could find a way to go on with his life. "I love you too Orlando," he heard and suddenly his life was changed again.

The End?