/I'm NOT gay and I fucking hate him./ Orlando glared at Viggo through his thick, dark eyelashes. /That's right. I hate him. And this attraction thing, that's not Viggo at ALL. That's all Aragorn. HE got this dark, sexy powerful thing going. VIGGO he is just plain boring. In fact this can all be blamed on fancy pants Legolas. It's OBVIOUS that he's gay. Stupid sissy Elf. I hate him too./

"What's up Orli. You look like you wanna kill someone."

/Maybe I do and maybe it's you./ Orlando looked up at Elijah from where he was sitting and forced his lips to curve into a smile.

"It's nothing Lij, I'm just tired that's all."

"Still on for the party tonight?"

"Sure."

/That's right. I'll party my ass off. I'll get drunk as Hell and do all the girls. Twice. I'll forget all about Aragorn and this stupid movie./

"I talked to Viggo and Sean B they both promised to come." Elijah was practically jumping with excitement.

"What the Hell did you invite them for?" Orlando glared evilly at the excited hobbit, did the man have no sense at all?

"I... I thought it would be nice if they showed up since we are always teasing them for not knowing how to party. And I mean Craig is coming and they are not THAT old."

Elijah looked at Orlando with pleading eyes. Orlando snarled at him, then forced another smile, he hated when those giant eyes looked teary.

"It'll be great I'm sure. I was just surprised that's all." Trying to look casual Orlando lit a cigarette and inhaled deeply. /Party update: I'll get drunk as Hell, avoid Viggo and do all the girls. Thrice./

As it turned out, there were hardly any girls at the party and none worth special Orlando attention so he just concentrated on getting really drunk. Unfortunately with the drunkenness came a bunch of not so very goodideas, that just seemed to be very good at the time. He was determined to get this stupid gay thing out of his head. With adrink in one hand and a half smoked cigarette in the other he stumbled over to Elijah who was chatting with Dom.

"Lij?"

"Yes Orli." Elijah looked at him with his lovely blue eyes.

"Hang on. Dom hold my drink." Orlando turned his drunken attention to Dom and gave him the drink. Dom took it and eyed it suspiciously, the he reluctantly took a zip. With a disgusted face he immediately spat it out.

"What the fuck is this Orli?"

"Vodka."

"And?"

"Just Vodka."

"It tastes like horse piss."

"Vodka usually does." Orlando dismissed Dom and turned to Elijah again then he changed his mind and handed Dom the cigarette.

"What's this?" Dom narrowed his eyes suspiciously.

"It's just a fucking cigarette. Take it and shut up." He once again turned back to Elijah and looked him square in the eyes.

"Kiss me Lij." Elijah's eyes that were big to begin with turned the size of dinner plates.

"What?"

"Just do it." Orlando used his best NO BULLSHIT voice and Elijah looked quite scared.. Obediently he gave Orlando a quick kiss on the lips.

"That's not what I meant." Orlando grabbed Elijah and pulled him close mashing his lips to the other man's, impatiently plunging his tongue into his unprepared mouth. He kept the kiss going for a few seconds and then released a slightly dazed looking Elijah.

/No that's not right. Felt almost like a girl. Wont work./ Orlando turned from Elijah and started to look around the crowded room. With a wolfish smile he caught sight of Craig behind the bar, playing the happy bartender.

/That's more like it. I'll try him./ He staggered over to the bar and lent on the counter, keeping his eyes on Craig until the man felt him staring and walked over.

"What can I do for you Orli? Another one of those so called drinks?"

"Nope. I want you to kiss me."

"What?" /What is this? Idiot's night out?/

"I said kiss me."

Craig arched an eyebrow and contemplated the demand for a few second. Then he reached over the counter and pressed his lips to Orlando's in a fierce kiss. Orlando answered it and pondered it before he drew back. /Not quite right, but I'm getting there./ Looking around again he saw Sean Bean who was engaged in a conversation with Viggo. His smile turned devilish and he licked his lips lusciously.

/That's right. But Viggo is there. Not good. I don't like Viggo. But I can keep my back to him. Yes I can. Don't like Viggo at all, he got this Aragorn thing going. Very sexy. It's the hair, and the beard. Definitely the beard./

Orlando left the bar and the startled Craig, and made his way through the room, without falling even once. A real accomplishment one might say. Sean and Viggo both looked up as he approached. Let's take a minute to see what they see.

WALKING SEX GOD ALERT. Tall, slender yet muscular body. Tight black leather pants clinging to narrow hips. The top button of the pants undone, maybe to make it all the more obvious that there is nothing between Orlando and the leather. See through black shirt, buttons undone nearly all the way to the navel, showing a tanned chest and flat breast muscles. Tousled black hair falling into his face and sparkling brown eyes surrounded by dark eyelashes. Combined with the devilish wolf smile curving the lovely lips, it's most definitely an irresistible appearance.

"Sean." Sean took half a step back as Orlando slammed his body into him with full force. "Kiss me."

"Orlando? What?"

"Do it now, old man." Orlando looked him square in the eyes with every ounce of his determination. Sean stared back furrowing his brow. Orlando decided thinking time was over and pressed his lips against Sean's, determined to get a response. The other man tried to resist but Orlando's flaming heat lured him in and he kissed Orlando quite thoroughly. Orlando drew back with the brightest of smiles, suddenly looking very young. /That's it. Finally. That is what it would feel like to kiss Viggo. It was nothing special, just as I thought. The beard didn't add much to the sensation. I'm so glad to get THAT out of my system./ Orlando turned and flashed a 24 carat smile at Viggo who was looking very upset. /Take that Aragorn wannabe. I have beaten you in a game you didn't even know we were playing./ Still smiling he turned to walk away, he was sure he left a drink somewhere. However he didn't get very far before Viggo caught him.

"Don't I get a go elf boy?"

Orlando felt color creeping up his cheeks as he turned back to face Viggo. He hadn't expected that. Still what was the harm in letting Viggo kiss him? He was just a stuck up old man who wanted to go crazy and kiss a youngling. Why not let him. Orlando knew even in this drunk state of mind that he was fooling himself. He wanted Viggo to kiss him. He looked at the other man, taking in his rough features. He looked dangerous. His eyes were beaming, his mouth twisted in a disconcerting half smile and the hair that had once been tucked behind his ears was falling round his face in a tousled mess. Feeling dazed Orlando brought a hand up to touch the hair. It felt soft like silk, he wanted to bury his hands in its tempting brownness but he was able to hold back. Viggo took his hand and dragged him in behind a pillar, where they were out of view.

"Brace yourself for a real kiss, Orlando. The others weren't even trying." Orlando felt a tingle of anticipation when he heard the husky note in Viggo's dark voice.

"This is how a real man kisses."

Orlando closed his eyes when he felt Viggo's lips touch his own. /I can do this. This is nothing special! Holy crap./ Viggo's tongue found it's way into Orlando's waiting mouth, playing, teasing, stroking. Orlando had never been kissed like THAT before, Viggo just took control totally. Of his mouth, his body, his breath, his soul. It was like going parachuting without a parachute. To put it short: A Killer Ride. Desire pooled through Orlando's body, settling low in his body, giving him the worlds biggest hard on. He felt his knees grow weak, his heart rushing, his face flushing but most of all he felt Viggo. Muscular body pressed to his, strong arms around the small of his back, and most of all lips and tongue; tempting him, teasing him, undoing him. Slowly and deliberately Viggo pushed a firm thigh in between Orlando's trembling ones.

/Oh my God./ Viggo's thigh touched him and teased him made his trapped cock ache with longing. Orlando clutched Viggo's shoulder, trying to find words to tell him to stop but he found none. Instead he delved deeper into the kiss, unknowingly grinding his hips towards Viggo. Smiling against his lips Viggo reached down and grabbed his ass. Forcing him closer, forcing him to feel his thighs with deliberate movements. If Orlando could have actually breathed, he would have been panting. It felt so good. Every nerve in his body was located between his thighs and was getting a good rubbing. He felt the tingling tenseness in his body and knew what was about to happen if he didn't stop Viggo. Viggo released his swollen lips for a few seconds and kissed his neck.

"Give in Orlando." He whispered, his breath flooding over Orlando's oversensitive skin. "I know you want to."

Orlando wanted to protest to at least say anything. Instead he melted into Viggo's body, rubbing himself lightly against him. Viggo captured his mouth in another breathtaking kiss making liquid desire pool through his veins. With a choked scream that was caught and swallowed by Viggo Orlando, came with an earth shattering orgasm that made his whole body rock. With a cocky smile Viggo released him and allowed him to take a step back. /Shit. Shit. SHIT. What am I? 14?/

Orlando couldn't bear the embarrassment of looking into Viggo's eyes and facing the smugness he was bound to find there. Instead he took the easy way out by turning and running. He dashed through the party with a speed and vigour that would have made Legolas look like an oliphaunt in comparison. He made his way out in the chilly night air but saw no use in stopping something that had been working fine so far, so he kept running until he reached his trailer.

/Safety. Yes I need that. Where are the keys? Search. Search. There they are. Put keys in door. Fuck I said in door not on ground. Another try. There you go. Good doggie./

Orlando made his way in through the door before collapsing on the floor, gasping for breath. Now it was official. He was a fucking idiot.

The End.

Continued in the sequel Still A Fucking Idiot