The Inbetween

One week later Jared pulls up outside his parents house in his rented Ford Escape. The roads have mostly been cleared by now, but it's still impossible to get cell phone reception, too many satellites were destroyed during the meteor shower. The power is still out in large parts of the country, but there are lights burning in his mother's windows welcoming him home.

No one really knows what happened. Scientists have gone over their calculations, but as far as they can tell Cheron's comet should have hit Earth straight on. Something made it swerve to the side, missing Earth and plundering on into infinity. It's still visible in the sky, but it grows smaller with every passing day.

Jared spent two days in the hotel before he was able to find a car rental that was open for business and willing to loan him a car without a cash advance. Life is slowly going back to normal and everywhere Jared's been people have had the same dazed but happy look on their faces, as if they can't really believe it's real.

His back aches from too many nights spent in the car and his knees pop as he steps out on the driveway and stretches his arms up over his head. The front door opens and his mother comes out on the step.

"Jared," she says, as if she can't really believe he's real.

"Hi mom," he whispers, suddenly not trusting his voice to hold.

"Oh God, Jared."

She runs down the stairs and he opens his arms for her slight form, crushing her to his chest in a bone crunching embrace.

"My boy," she says, over and over, digging her fingers into his back. "My dear, dear boy."

He hides his head against her shoulder, inhaling the oh so familiar scent of spices and vanilla that has meant home for as long as he can remember.

"I missed you mom," he whispers into her neck. "So much."

She lifts her head and looks up at him, studying his face as if she hasn't seen him for years instead of mere weeks.

"I didn't know if you were still alive," she says, pressing her hands against his chest. "I didn't know."

He hugs her again, holding her tight as she buries her head in his chest. He looks up as his dad comes out on the front step and hurries down the stairs towards them.

"Dad," he says and seconds later his father wraps his arms around him, crushing his mom between them.

"Jared," his dad says, voice unusually brittle.

Jared closes his eyes and for the first time in over a week it feels as if he can breathe properly.

"Jared," the shout comes from inside the house and then Megan barges through the door.

Jared laughs, disentangling himself from his parents' embrace to catch his little sister in his arms, spinning her around.

"Put me down, you oaf," she says, but her arms wrap tightly around his neck.

Jared can't stop smiling, he still feels as if he left something important behind in LA, but he's home now with his family and that will just have to be enough.





Jared stares at the slowly revolving house model on his screen without really seeing it. He's already intimately familiar with every nook and cranny; the blueprints carefully folded and stuffed into one of the many paper tubes that are standing in a bin next to his desk. He spent weeks perfecting it making sure he got every detail right and he hates it.

It's Jensen's house and it represents everything Jared wants but will never have. He hates the perfect façade, the careful stone inlay on the front stairs, hates the sundeck that stretches along the back and the balcony above the front porch. He hates the huge kitchen that opens up to a spacious living room, hates that he knows what color the walls will be and what appliances will line the kitchen counters. He hates that there's not only one office, but two; hates that there's a master bedroom and that he already knows what the bedspread will look like. He hates it because no matter how many times he changes it, it's not just Jensen's house, it's his too.

There's a knock on the door and he flinches, hurriedly closing the window so that he can at least pretend to be doing some real work.

"Come in," he yells and the doors open to reveal his boss, Samantha Ferris.

"You got a minute?" she asks.

"For you Sam? Always," Jared answers with a smile.

She smiles back and steps inside, closing the door behind her. She looks oddly serious and Jared's stomach clenches, sure she's bringing bad news. The economy took a real hit during and after Resurrection Day, as it has been dubbed, and even though there have been no whispers within the company about downsizing he knows they've been struggling lately.

"Jeff Morgan just called me," she says, leaning back against the door.

Jared swallows and a flush rises in his cheeks. "Look about that..."

"I already knew," she says with a slight smile. "They called me back in July too."

"Oh..." Jared swallows again. He feels like a traitor. He's been working for Ferris Architects since three weeks after graduation, and he likes his job, he does, but it's not exactly challenging. He never made a secret of the fact that he wants more, but he also never told Sam about the interview with Jeff Morgan Associates, mostly because he didn't think he'd ever be offered the job.

"I get it Jared," she says, with a sad little smile. "And I don't want to stand in your way, but I'll be really sad to see you go."

"They're gonna offer me the job?" Jared asks, blinking rapidly. "But I'm not qualified."

"Apparently you made quite an impression."

Jared licks his lips. He didn't even consider the fact that he might still be in running for the job, he wasn't even sure there still was a job. So many things changed lately and suddenly he's not even sure if he wants it. Moving to LA would mean leaving everyone behind and he doesn't know if he can handle that right now.

"Anyway, I just wanted to give you a heads up. I'm sure they'll call you soon."

"Thanks Sam," he says, staring blindly at his screen. "I appreciate it."

She slips out the door and as it closes behind her Jared brings up the house on the screen again, watching it revolve as it shows itself off from every angle. Moving to LA will mean leaving everyone he knows behind, but it also means he'll be closer to Jensen. It's pathetic how his heart double takes at the very thought and he closes the window down again. It's time to stop living in a dream world.





Jared stands on the back porch staring out into the garden. There's a full moon hanging overhead painting the garden in stripes of bright light and shadows. The air is blissfully cool against his face, cold enough to raise goosebumps on his bare arms and he tightens his hands on the railing, making the worn tree chafe against his palms. He went out here to think, but as his eyes trails over the apple trees where he used to play as a kid and the bushy hedge that was his favorite hideout, his mind is comfortably empty.

"You're going to take that job, aren't you?"

The sudden sound of his mother's voice makes him twitch and suck in a breath.

"Sorry," she says, coming up to stand beside him. "I didn't mean to startle you."

"I thought you were asleep," he says, giving her a smile.

"I was." She puts her hands next to his on the railing. "But I got up and saw you standing out here."

Jared looks down at their hands, and notices, not for the first time, how small hers are compared to his. Sometimes it's impossible to imagine that he once grew under her heart. They don't say anything for a while and he realizes she's waiting for his answer.

"I don't want to move," he says, tilting his head to look up at the sky. The stars are barely visible in the light from the heavy moon, but looking up at them no longer makes him feel threatened.

"But you will," she says fondly, moving one of her hands to rest atop of his.

He sighs. "Yeah."

She's silent for a minute, face vacant as she stares straight ahead. "Are you ever going to tell me about her?" she finally asks.

Jared swallows, he should have known she'd ask eventually. He hasn't told his parents much about what he did during those last few days before the world didn't end and until now they haven't asked. There's no one that knows him better than his mother though. She has always been able to read his face like an open book.

She knew before he did when he fell in love with Sandy and she knew when he fell out of love again, offering comfort in the form of cocoa and freshly baked cookies while he considered the state of his life. There has never been a time in his life when he felt as if he couldn't talk to her. Her arms and her kitchen have always been open for him, so he doesn't know why he hasn't been able to talk to her about this.

"It's not her," he says when the silence has stretched out for too long. "It's... him."

Her fingers tense atop of his, nails digging sharply into his knuckles for a moment before she relaxes. "Oh," she says. "I didn't know you..."

Jared sighs. "Me neither and I still don't... I mean... It could just have been the circumstances."

She pets his hand. "How about some cocoa and a cookie?" she asks.

He smiles into the darkness and gives her a sideways glance. "I love you mom," he says.

She smiles. "Of course you do, honey."





"So you're gay now," Chad says, taking a sip of his beer.

Jared shrugs. "I dunno."

"But you'll still be my best man, right? I mean... gay guys can be best men too, right?"

Jared blinks. "Uh... yeah."

"Good." Chad turns his beer over between his fingers. "And you'll be back in time for the wedding yeah? You won't ditch me for the sparkly city and that guy of yours."

"I don't actually have a guy, you know," Jared answers.

"You can bring him to the wedding. I'd be like totally okay with that. As long as you come."

"Chad."

"Yeah."

"I'm not going to miss your wedding."

"Good... good."

There's a TV screen just behind Chad's head that has been showing a rerun of the latest Cowboy's game, but it's time for a commercial break and the trailer for Jensen's latest movie comes on. Jared trails his eyes over Jensen's face and bites the inside of his lips. He should have gotten used to it by now, he's seen this trailer hundreds of times, but every time it hits him like a blow to the gut.

"Jensen Ackles, huh?" Chad says, craning his neck to see what caught Jared's attention. "You think he's hot?"

"Yeah..."

"I hate to break it you dude, but he's way out of your league."

Jared nods, looking down at his beer. "I know."

Chad reaches over the table and pats his hand. A sure sign Jared has gone from just being lovesick and stupid to downright pathetic. "It'll work out," he says. "Trust the Chad, he knows these things."

It's a clear sign that Jared is going out of his mind that he actually finds it comforting. He thought he was doing better, the sting of rejection no longer hitting him quite as hard, but then Jensen started appearing everywhere and Jared's mood took a turn for the worse.

He doesn't even know why he's so hung up on the guy. Maybe it's just the way things ended that makes it impossible for him to get Jensen out of his system. He's been rejected before, of course, but never in the same sudden fashion. He thought that maybe they found something during those days, something that neither of them even knew they were looking for, but Jensen's change of heart showed that it wasn't so.

"Man, it's good to have TV again," Chad says, neck craned again to look at the plasma screen on the wall.

Jared hums in agreement, but finds that he doesn't really agree. If there's anything their near brush with death taught him it's that there are greater values in life than Celebrity Jeopardy and the latest blockbuster. On his trek back from Jensen's place that fateful morning he made so many promises to himself; that he would live every day like it was his last, that he'd never let himself go stale and that he'd risk more, even if it cost him. So far his risk taking has been confined to telling his parents and friends that he might be a bit gay and growing a beard, but with his new job, he thinks that maybe he's taken a step on the way.

He knows that he's not the only one that promised himself such things. Chad proposed to Sophia, not because they didn't die, but because he was finally able to admit to himself and the world that she is the person he wants to spend the rest of his life with. His parents finally gave up their five year long argument on whether to paint the living room blue or yellow and agreed on a pleasing shade of green. It might be small things, every day things, but in the long run they will make a difference. Jared's sure of it.

Read Chapter Three of Three plus Epilogue of Jeyhawk's Apocolypse: Cancelled