I've known about you for a while now
When he leaves me, he wears a smile now
As soon as he's away from me, in your arms is where he wants to be


But you're the one he rushes home to
You're the one he gave his name to
I never see his face in the early morning light
You have his mornings, his daytime, and sometimes I have his nights


But does he love you
Like he loves me
Does he think of you
When he's holding me
And does he whisper
All his fantasies
Does he love you
Like he's been loving me


And when I'm in his arms, oh he swears there's no one else
Is he deceiving me…or am I deceiving myself


But when he's with me, he says he needs me
And that he wants me, that he believes in me


But does he love you
Like he loves me
Does he think of you
When he's holding me
And does he whisper
All his fantasies
Does he love you
Like he's been loving me


I should not lose my temper
I should not be ashamed
Cause I have everything to lose
And I, I have nothing to gain


But does he love you
Like he loves me
Does he think of you
When he's holding me
And does he whisper
All his fantasies
Does he love you
Like he's been loving me




Shit. Shit, fuck, damn it all to hell. She knows - Amy knows about me and Matt. Well, she knows about someone and Matt, cuz she called and asked me if he was cheatin' on her. And what did I do? I asked her if she was crazy. Smooth move there, Hardy. I'm a master of avoidin' questions. Sleep with your brother long enough and you get into the habit.

Matt showed up here after she left. He's been tryin' to call her for the last three hours and she ain't answerin' - not her cell phone, not at home. Shane went by the house and checked to make sure she didn't go back there. Matt's been pacin' around here, trying to figure out what to do. I told him about her callin' me.

See, right now, I'm kinda pissed off at him. I finally figured out that Matty has been tryin' to have his cake and eat it, too. Or, in my case, his strudel - ha, borrowin' references from Rocky, ain't that a novel idea. I shoulda known today was gonna be all fucked up. We were layin' in bed this afternoon, after I had fucked him senseless, and the son of a bitch actually had the nerve to suggest that the three of us could make this work.

The three of us?? I heard of people livin' their gimmick 24/7 but damn! He's taking the whole Team Extreme thing a little far, don't ya think? I asked him if he was fuckin' serious and he just smiled that goofy grin a his and tried to get me to fuck him again, like that would make me forget all about his idiotic idea. Hell, I don't even like girls, and I especially don't like that one.

Don't get me wrong, I like Amy alright, but…she is a chick, and she's the reason that I've been through hell the last couple years. But now, I'm sittin' here looking at my brother and I'm beginnin' to see things…things I never noticed before. They say love is blind, and right now I'm startin' to get my sight back.

I just spent thirty bucks to check into a fleabag motel and all I want to do is go home. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I misunderstood the whole conversation Matt was having. Maybe I'm just fooling myself, trying to make a hell of a lot less out of a really bad situation. My stomach lurches and I run for the bathroom, something I've been doing a lot the last few days.

But, is it the baby that's growing inside me, something I always thought would be a testament to the love Matt and I had, or is it the fact that my husband, my lover, my fucking best friend has been screwing around on me for god knows how long? If I ever get my hands on the bitch he's been sleeping with, I'll rip every hair from her head.

Okay, get yourself together, girl. What do I do now? Where do I go from here? I can't stay in this motel forever. I don't have the money for that, and I didn't bring a damn thing with me. Why should I leave the damn house anyway? True, Matt built it, but it's my house too, damn it.

I grab the keys off the nightstand and head to the car. As I head back to Cameron, my mind is going a million miles an hour. What will I say to him? What will I do? The first thing I'm gonna do is tell him that whatever else he's been doing is over. I am not gonna carry his baby around, knowing he's trying to make babies with someone else. I am so kicking his ass…seven months from now.

I drive. The windows are down and the radio is blaring, and I'm trying real hard not to cry. I ain't wasting any more tears on him, not now. He's got a lot of explaining to do, a lot of ass to kiss, and my trust to gain…again. I try to think back, to remember when he first started spending more time away from home.

He works out with Shane a lot, but I don't think he would cover for Matt. Out of the whole group, Shane's always been the one with the most sense. And he's the most…normal. The most stable. But, would his loyalty to Matt outweigh his moral sensibility? Nah. I don't think Shane would cover for him.

He's also been spending a lot of time with Jeff these days. They work out together, too. They go to the movies. He's even gone shopping with Jeff, something Matt's never liked to do. I remember him telling me one time that someone would have to give him a hell of a reason to drag him to the mall for any reason.

I remember laughing, and I asked him just what would be a good reason, ya know, what would be the proper reward for little Matty lowering himself to associate with the little people there. He smiled that goofy smile of his and said a blowjob would work nicely for him.

We laughed about it for a long time. It was just one of those things, the kinda stuff that Matt would come up with. That time, though, he was serious. The next time I wanted to go to the mall, he asked for his reward. I wonder what he made Jeff do for him before he went shopping with him.

Then it hits me. I slam on the brakes in the middle of the highway. Luckily, it was the middle of the night and traffic was light. I pulled over to the shoulder of the highway and sat there, feeling like an elephant was sitting on my chest. When I finally caught my breath, I reached for my phone, then remembered that I had tossed it out the window.

That son of a bitch! He's been sleeping with his brother, even though he swore that it was over a long time ago, long before we ever got together. I'm gonna kill 'em both. I'm gonna run over both their asses with my car, then kick them from one end of the state to the other. My stomach grumbles, and reminds me of the miracle that now resides in me.

Maybe I won't kill them. I'll just beat them half to death. Yeah, that would work. How could I have been so stupid? I shoulda known when I called Jeff earlier and he couldn't answer my questions. I wonder if he feels guilty about it? I wonder if Matt loves him - I mean really LOVES him? I wonder if that's where Matt is right now?

I pull back out on the highway and drive a little faster. I gotta know. My fate rests in the hands of my husband and his little brother, who he's apparently been sleeping with. Let's skip the morality lecture right now. Incest is bad, blah blah blah. Before I got together with Matt, I used to watch the two of them together, and like the rest of the world, wonder what cruel fate had to make them brothers, since they were so pretty together.

Did I just say that? God, I'm losing it. I see the exit up ahead, and I go for it. It's one in the morning now, and I'm twenty minutes away from Jeff's house. Shit happens, and I'm about to make a big ol' stink. I'll just go to Jeff and ask him straight up what's going on. He can't lie to me. He never could.

In some twisted way, I feel better now. I have identified the enemy, and I'm moving in for the kill. I see the Team Extreme pendant swinging from my rearview mirror and I laugh in the darkness. Those guys might think they've seen extreme before, but they ain't seen nothing yet.

Shit. Fuck. Damn it all to hell. She's here. She just fuckin' pulled up in my driveway and I can see her walking across the yard and I know she's gonna knock on the door and punch me as soon as I open it. I've seen that look on her face before and it ain't ever been pretty. I turn around and look at Matt sleeping on the couch. How the hell can he fall asleep at a time like this?

My brother has never been the brightest bulb in the box, but still…his wife left him this afternoon because she finds out about him screwin' me, then he comes cryin' to me about what to do - like I would have a fuckin' clue - and now that she's come here, he's sleepin'.

I should let her in cuz I know she'll kick his ass from here to Georgia and back, and right now, I'm thinkin' that might be kinda fun to watch. The doorbell rings and I slowly walk over to open it. She's standin' there, her face all flushed, breathing a little heavier than normal, and she doesn't say anything for a long time. When she does, she only says one thing - "Do you love him, Jeff?"

How do I answer that? Yeah, I love him. He's my brother, my best friend, my lover. What do you expect me to say? I guess I was starin' at her, cuz then she says, "Do you love him like I do? Does he love you? What can you give him that I can't, Jeff?" For once, she's right.

Damn it, the fuckin' girl is right. I don't love him the way she does, I never could. Matt's always wanted the 'good life', to be nice and normal and have a wife and kids and dogs runnin' around in the backyard. Amy's always wanted to take care of him and love him and give him everything he's ever wanted. And me…well, I've never been sure about what I want. I thought it was Matt, cuz that was the most extreme thing I could do.

But now that I'm lookin' at my sister in law, hearing my brother snore on the couch behind me, I realize that what I want doesn't exist. Not in the physical sense, just…in my mind. And the things I really wanted, I can't have, because my brother IS my brother. And he likes girls more than I ever will. And no matter how much modern science has advanced, I still ain't seen a man ever have a kid, so I'm outta luck as far as giving Matty what he wants there.

Amy is still starin' at me, so I figure I better give her an answer. I tell her that I do love him. Her face kinda falls, so I hold up my hand and give her the all important "but" to my answer. I love him - I always will - but…I guess I don't love him like she does. She nods slowly, then looks past me to Matt, sleeping on my couch. I move to let her in cuz she's gonna do it anyway, and she punches me square in the face on her way past me to get to him.

I stand there, my fingers gingerly pushin' on my nose to make sure nothing's broke, and I hear him yelp in pain. She's standin' there, sweet lil ol' Amy, yankin' my brother off the couch by his hair, and his face is a mixture of fear, pain, happiness, sadness - and I'll be damned if he ain't sexy as hell right now. She screams at him, cusses at him, even throws a couple of pretty solid right hooks, then she tells him they're goin' home.

She stops on the way out, lookin' me right in the eye, and I know that it's over. Matt loves her - I've always known that. And he loves me too - another thing I've always known. But, he loves her more, cuz she's everything he needs, and me, well, I'm everything he wants. At least she has the decency to look away when he leans over and kisses me goodbye. A soft, sweet little kiss that makes me feel…sad? Empty?

Nope, that ain't it. I feel…relieved. No more secrets, no more hiding. Just me and my brother, saying goodbye to one life and hello to another. I open my mouth to say I'm sorry, to offer her some explanation, but she looks at me and smiles, then whispers, "I understand. But, no more, got it?" I nod and watch as she drags him off the porch to the car.

As I'm closin' the door, I see her say somethin' to Matt and he smiles, then puts his hand on her stomach. Guess he's off to live his new life - with his wife and my niece or nephew. Damn, I'm gonna miss him. I feel like I should be cryin' or somethin', lamenting my latest heartbreak, but I don't. Everything happens for a reason, and I'm just as clueless as ever as to what that reason is. I don't love him like she does, but maybe, just maybe, she can love him like I always wanted to.

Read story #6 Her Man