I've never been one to play by other's rules, never got a check mark on my report card under the 'plays well with others' category, and I will never be looked upon as a role model for following the establishment. So why did it surprise you so much that I turned on you?

You hold yourself up like some kind of demi-god, some paragon of virtue that we should all worship and adore. Your opinion is the only one that matters in your eyes, your way is the only one that should be followed.

Day after day, week after week, you preach that you are the epitome of this business, you are the one we should all strive to be like. You spew forth your 'knowledge' to anyone who is unfortunate enough to get caught in your line of vision for more than five minutes, telling them how to look, act, speak to make it to the top. And yet you forget to give them the single piece of advice that actually got you there.

Not everyone in this company is desperate enough to sleep with the boss' daughter. And no one, save you, is stupid enough to actually marry her. But not even she can protect you from the web you've woven for yourself this time.

There is no way to count the number of people you've glommed onto, people you thought would make you look good, or give you some sort of advantage over the rest of the world. Where are all those people now? Where are your friends, your best buds? You've used them all and tossed them aside when they were no longer useful to you.

Friends you've had forever - Kevin, Scott, Shawn, even the Kid - are yesterday's news, too old, washed up or screwed up to help you any more. Or, in the case of the great HBK, too good for your own good. People you've pulled into your inner circle have been discarded just the same.

Randy was your pet project, the sweet face that was still wet behind the ears, despite the fact that he grew up in this business. He was fine and good - until the fans starting cheering just a little louder for him than they did for you. When he proved that he was indeed better than you, you dropped him faster than a hot potato.

And me…what in the world could you say about me? You mistook my silence for stupidity, my brawn for lack of brains. You thought I was like the others, that you could control me, manipulate me, use me. You were wrong. I'm not a company man. I'm not a team player. The only team I'm interested in is Team Me. And right now, you've succeeded in pissing off the captain for the final time.

It's no longer us against the world. It has become me against you. I don't need Randy's cuteness or Ric's experience or even your stellar advice to make it now. I found my voice - and you found out that the old adage is true - actions speak louder than words.

It makes me smile when I remember the look on your face when I gave you the thumb's down, signaling for you and all the world to see that I was through with you.

It makes me chuckle to think of the sound of your head bouncing off that table.

And I ain't too proud to admit that it almost gives me a hard-on knowing that you are scared.

You heard me - I can smell your fear. I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it in my bones. And there is no amount of adrenaline that can match the rush it gives me.

Go ahead and run to your wife and beg her to help you.

Turn to Ric and ask him to give YOU advice on how to avoid the beating I'm gonna lay on you.

Call up your old friends. Admit to them you were wrong and that you need them, not the other way around.

But lemme tell you something. Late at night, when you can't sleep and you're all alone with your thoughts, just remember this. Payback's a bitch, Hunter. You said once that you taught me everything I know about this business, but that's not true. You taught me everything you thought I should know.

But this isn't about business any more. This is personal. And I'm personally gonna kick your ass from one end of arena to the other. And I'm gonna smile the whole time I'm giving the fans what they want to see. That is what it's all about, right? You taught me that much.

A soft click.

A gentle whirl as the CD started over once again.

A soft voice, made husky by sleep and sweet dreams.

"Dave?"

"Hmm?"

"Whatcha doin'?"

He closed the book on the table in front of him.

"Nothing."

Blue eyes peer over his shoulder, looking at the well worn notebook in front of him.

"You writin' in your diary again?"

A strong, firm body plops into his lap as he wraps his arms around a well-toned waist.

"It's a journal, not a diary," he whispers, welcoming the warmth of the body pressing against him now. "Diaries are for 13 year old girls."

Words are mumbled against his throat, the sweet, hot breath tickling his skin. "What?"

Randy raises his head and looks deep into his eyes. "If you say so."

Dave chuckles, holding him tighter. "I do."

Randy wriggles in his lap, causing delicious friction between the firmness of his ass and the rising bulge in Dave's groin.

A wicked grin crosses Randy's lips, a tongue snakes out to flick a pulsing vein in his neck.

"Let's go to bed."

Dave stands, taking Randy with him as he rises. Strong thighs wrap around his waist as teeth nip at his earlobe, making it difficult for him to concentrate on anything else. As they cross the room, Randy whispers something in his ear, but the pounding of blood in his ears blocks the words.

"What was that, baby?"

"No more Godsmack till next week. Tomorrow I get to pick the music."



~I've told you this once before can't control me
If you try to take me down your gonna break
I feel your every nothing that you're doing for me
I'm thinking you oughta make your own way

I stand alone inside
I stand alone

You're always hiding behind your so-called goddess
So what, you don't think that we can see your face?
Ressurrected back before the final falling
I'll never rest until I can make my own way

I'm not afraid of fading
I stand alone
you let your sting down inside me
I'm not dying for it
I stand alone
Everything that I believe is faded
I stand alone inside
I stand alone

Now it's my time (now it's my time)
It's my time to dream (It's my time to dream)
Dream of the skies (dream of the skies)
Make me believe that this place isn't plagued by the poison in me
Help me decide if my fire will burn out before you can breathe
breathe in to me

I stand alone inside
I stand alone

You let your sting down inside me I'm not dying for it
I stand alone everything that I believe is faded

I stand alone inside~