~Don't be afraid to hold me tight...
One arm around my waist, the other softly stroking the skin on my
back, his hand moving lower, closer to his destination. I feel the
hardness of his cock pressed against the muscle of my thigh and I
want him inside me now, not because of any overwhelming lust or
desire, but because the sooner he's inside me, the sooner I can
start pretending again…
~You know I won't break in two...
His fingers slide inside of me, softly stroking places that should
make me feel a lot better than they do. I keep thinkin' if I close
my eyes and try real hard, I can almost pretend - almost. If I try
real, real hard, I can imagine his hair's shorter, his voice softer,
his hands a little more gentle, filled with love, not just the raw
sexual power that he has.
~What we're doing here tonight...
That's what it is, what it's always been - sex, plain and simple.
It ain't like we love each other, even though we say the words. We
both know we're just pretendin', even though neither of us will ever
admit it. We're just substitutes for what we really want, really
need…who we really love.
~Sure beats what we're going through...
No matter what we do, no matter how hard either of us try, we just
can't change the fact that he ain't a green haired, comic reading'
supergeek and I could never be his painted angel.
~We both loved and lost before...
We're a perfect example of the domino effect. They brought me up
and put me on the roster with Shane, then they moved Matt over and
then took Shane away from me. That's how it all got started, this
whole switch thing. Okay, so technically, me and Shane were never
together, and Matt and Jeff hadn't been for a long time, but that
don't mean we were any less in love with each other.
~You know the sadness it can bring...
Since I ain't got nothin' to compare Matt to, I guess it's easy for
me to pretend he's my dream lover. But sometimes, I wonder if I
live up to the memories he has of Jeff. Am I as good as he was? Do
I touch him in the same ways, the same spots. You know the
routine. Do my green eyes sparkle the way his did when Matt would
stare deep into them and whisper all his secrets?
~Tonight let's close the door...
Jeff and Shane were together for a while. They tried to keep it a
secret, but after awhile we started hearin' things, rumors from
people on the Raw roster. The first time me and Matt got together
it was an accident. At least that's how we justified it to
ourselves.
~And hold onto the nearest thing...
Neither one of us ever said anything, but I think deep down inside,
we both knew. I never told anybody except Jeff about my crush on
Shane, and I don't know if Matt knew that Jeff had told me about
their…thing. It only lasted a couple of months, until morality or
sanity or fear caused them to stop. Can't say that I blame `em for
what they did. I mean, both of `em are sexy as hell, right?
~Let's keep hangin' on...
He's inside me now, and it feels good. Sure as hell beats some
nameless, faceless guy I picked up in town, only because he thought
I was way younger than I am and wanted to get his rocks off with a
kid. I mean, there is some tenderness with Matt. It may not be
love, not in the way most people feel it, but there's something
there.
~So we won't fall apart…
Somewhere deep inside, I feel it, the familiar burn that comes right
before I explode. My mind starts its own private movie reel,
running through images that have fueled my every fantasy since I was
15 years old - Shane in the shower, Shane in his tights, Shane
smiling at me, kissing my cheek, hugging me while I cried.
~Let's make love tonight...
I feel him kissing the back of my neck, his hand reaching around to
stroke my cock while his strokes my insides. It feels damn good.
~Like we never had a broken heart...
As a matter of fact, it feels better than good.
~Don't be afraid to close your eyes...
I slowly open my eyes when I feel wetness hit the back of my neck.
Is he crying?
~Pretend I'm someone that you love...
He must be thinking of Jeff, wishing it was him that he was buried
deep inside of right now.
~And I won't have to tell you lies...
"I love you." I nod, then mutter my reply. God, I wish it was
true. It wish it was me that he was sayin' those words to.
~'Cause it's not you I'm thinkin' of...
Wait…did I just say that?
~Let's keep hangin' on...
He's movin' real slow, his hands runnin' over my body like it's made
of porcelain, almost like he's afraid that he might break me or
somethin'.
~So we won't fall apart...
I can feel him throb inside me and I realize that I am, too.
Suddenly, it hits me.
~Let's make love tonight...
We ain't fuckin' any more. Matt is actually makin' love to me…ME!
When the dam bursts and he explodes inside me, it's my name he calls
out, it's me he's sayin' I love you to.
~Like we never had a broken heart...
After he pulls out, I roll over and look at him, staring deep into
his eyes, and I search for something, anything. He smiles, a little
lopsided grin, before kissing me on the tip of my nose.
~Tonight we'll just pretend...
"I love you, Shan," he whispers, and I can see a mixture of emotions
in his eyes - love, fear, anticipation.
~We've been in love right from the start...
"I love you too, Matt." His examination of my eyes mirrors my own
and for the first time I realize that I mean it. I love him. For
all the wishful thinking, for all the longing, I realize that he may
have started out as a substitute for Shane, but he had come to mean
so much more to me than that.
~Let's make love again...
We collapse onto each other, giggling like fools. I look up at him,
and open my mouth to speak, but a gentle finger across my lips stops
me, only to be replaced by his warm, full lips. Our hands are
moving again, but this time it's different, like it was the first
time all over again. Before long, he'll be back inside me, but this
time, this time it's gonna be different. It's gonna be right. It's
gonna be perfect.
~Like we never had a broken heart...
"Like We Never Had a Broken Heart" by Trisha Yearwood & Garth Brooks