"Cogito ergo sum," Brandon was saying as Heath started back to the living room. Jake opened his mouth to reply and Heath hung back in the kitchen doorway. He loved catching glimpses of his lover when Jake was unaware of it, especially in social settings like this when he was bantering with classmates.

"I think, therefore I am," Jake repeated Brandon's words translating them automatically.

"If you say I think therefore I am, instead of cogito ergo sum, you're putting Descartes before Horace," Scarlett said. She'd thought of the witticism months ago and been dying for a chance to use it. "Oh, you all wish you'd said it," she replied to the good-natured chorus of boos and hisses.

"What are you doing skulking back here?" a woman said.

Heath turned to see Tobey's date standing behind him. "I'm lurking," he said. "Sorry, I've forgotten your name."

"Michelle," she said, looking past him into the living room. "Why aren't you out there?"

"I don't really fit in."

"They are a pretty intimidating bunch, aren't they?" she said. "Wonder what their combined IQs add up to?"

"I'd probably have to take off my shoes to add it up."

Michelle laughed. "You're funny," she said. "And very cute. Tobey says you're Gay though. Are you?"

"Are you conducting some sort of survey?"

"Just curious. I know it's a personal question to most people, but I'm not hung up about all that stuff."

"That stuff?" Heath repeated, his eyes following Jake, as his boyfriend stood up to make a point, eyes glowing, hands gesticulating, clearly impassioned about what he was saying and Heath wished that the apartment were empty except for him and Jake.

"You know, sexual preferences and stuff."

"Preferences?" Heath dragged his eyes away from Jake. "You think sexual orientation is a preference? You think I chose to be homosexual?"

"Well, no, I guess not. I never thought about it like that. Why would someone choose to be a member of an oppressed minority?"

"It's not all bad," Heath said. "Let me guess; I'm getting good at this. You're majoring in Sociology or Political Science, right?"

"You still haven't answered my question."

"If I must have a label, I suppose Gay will do."

"And you're with Jake? Lucky guy."

"Which one of us?"

"Both of you, of course. Listen, I'm really curious about your relationship. Any chance you'd talk about it? For a paper I'm writing? You'd be anonymous, of course."

Heath shook his head. "There was a time when I would've given you all the juicy details, but what Jake and I have is… special, you know? And it's still kind of new. I'm just not ready to let anybody else in on it."

"Hope I didn't offend you."

"No worries. Can I get you something?"

"Do you have any film of you and Jake?" she grinned impishly.

Heath hesitated a moment before answering in the same joking manner. "I'm afraid that's not on the menu."

"You're a good sport," she said. "I just came in for some water."

"Help yourself," Heath nodded toward the fridge.

Michelle opened the bottle of spring water and took a drink. "So are you going to come out and join us?"

"I've already come out," Heath grinned. "And I'm afraid I don't have anything to add. The conversation's a bit above my head."

"Why would you say that? We're talking aren't we?"

"I don't have trouble talking to people, unless we're competing to see who can be the most brilliant. I might be a lot of things, but I'm no Oscar Wilde."

"But you know who he was," Michelle pointed out.

"All I know is that he was a clever, famous poof. Couldn't quote a single, bloody line."

Michelle laughed. "And you're honest. Let's see what we've got so far. You've got a good sense of humor. You're honest. You're sexy as hell. These are all very good qualities."

"I'm changing my guess," Heath said. "You're a psychology major."

"Bingo. On the nose. And you think you're not smart?"

Heath gave her a level stare that said he was through dancing. "If you want to know if I feel inadequate sometimes, the answer is yes. Sometimes I look at Jake, as I was doing just now, and I wonder what he could possibly want with me. He's got everything."

"Everything except you. You had to give yourself to him."

"He's easy to love," Heath shrugged. "It's just hard sometimes to believe that he loves me the same way, or as much, because… how could he? He's perfect, and I'm… me. I know it's not true, of course; Jake has faults like anyone else, but…"

"They're easy to excuse?"

"Too right. You're pretty good at this. Any advice for me?"

Michelle smiled. "Just remember that he chose you." Heath raised his eyebrows, and she added to her statement. "Well, if Jake is as smart as you say…"

"Thanks for the therapy, but I actually do believe he loves me. I just hope I don't fuck up his life or something."

"That's what we all hope when we're in love," she said. "If we're not total dirtbags."

"Is that a clinical term?"

Michelle laughed again. "I'd better go. Tobey starts climbing the walls if I'm gone too long."

Heath nodded his familiarity with Tobey's rambunctious nature. "Maybe I'll see you out there," he said, leaning to brush his lips against her cheek.

Michelle tilted her head as she looked up at him. "Weird," she said. "You don't feel like a stranger to me. You feel like family that I just met. If that makes sense."

"It does," Jake said from the doorway. "And a good thing too. If I catch someone kissing my boyfriend, they'd better be related to him."

Heath smiled a welcome as Jake came on in to the kitchen. Michelle left with a thanks for the water and Heath beckoned his lover closer. Jake came to where Heath leaned against the counter and stepped into his embrace. Their friends all knew about them and if anyone was offended by a display of affection, they knew where the front door was.

"I'm not complaining," Jake said, as Heath hugged him fiercely. "But what's all this?"

"Because I can," Heath said, as Jake ran a hand through his dark blonde ringlets.

"Okay. Promise me you won't cut your hair."

"It's getting to be a bit of a bother, Jazza."

"I really love it like this. I love running my hands through it and feeling it curl around my fingers. I love the way it makes you look like a Borgia prince. What's the matter?"

"I don't know what a Borzha prince is, but I'm taking it as a compliment."

"I'm trying to tell you how beautiful you are to me."

"Gawd, the Return of the Raw Prawn," Heath rolled his eyes. "Do I have a tattoo on my forehead that reads 'LOW SELF ESTEEM'?"

"Huh?" Jake left off gazing at Heath's lips as the words coming out of them registered on him. "Low self esteem? We're not going to have the 'I'm not worthy' conversation again, are we?"

"Shit, I hope not, mate. I'd rather just shag you up against this counter."

Jake pulled back a few inches to look into Heath's eyes. "Really?" Heath pressed his groin to Jake's, and Jake grinned. "That's pretty convincing," he said. "Do you want to wait 'til everybody's gone, or…"

"Get rid of 'em," Heath said. "Or close the kitchen doors. Your choice, sport."

"I get a choice?" Jake's eyes twinkled.

"Yeah. Top or bottom?"

"Babe," Jake turned in the doorway to the living room. "I want you so deep in me you'll never find your way back out."

"You may not get out of this kitchen if you don't go now."

Jake pretended to scamper in alarm and Heath went to close the door to the dining room. The glimpse of the beautiful old furniture reminded him that almost everything they owned came from Jake's family. When Jake decided to return to college, his parents had offered to foot all the bills and since they insisted that it was an investment in the family business, Jake didn't see any reason not to take them up on it. And there wasn't one really. Gyllenhaal money made it possible for Jake to study instead of working his way through school and Heath was grateful for that. If they both worked, and Jake attended classes, they'd never see one another. It was just that everything was so nice. Heath would have been more comfortable if the couch had ripped upholstery covered by an afghan knitted by a friend with a weakness for garish colors. If the sink dripped, or the toilet ran. If they had just one roach. He still couldn't help feeling sometimes that this was all some amazing dream that could end at any moment.

"What are you daydreaming about? As if I didn't know?" Jake leered, as he came back into the kitchen.

"I was thinking about our future."

"At a time like this? I thought you were ready to…"

"When I say the future, I mean fifteen minutes from now," Heath interrupted. "When I expect to be licking the sweat from your collarbones while basking in the afterglow of a truly epic session of shagging."

"Fifteen minutes? Epic? I don't know. Sounds a little short for an epic."

"See if you think this is too short," Heath unfastened his jeans.

Jake laughed. "You really are ready, aren't you?" he said as he unbuckled his belt and let his cords fall to the tile. "Looks like we're in sync, as usual."

"In sync? If I were N Sync, I'd be able to sing and dance."

"Boo," Jake said, as Heath reached for him. "That was lame."

"It was better than what I was originally going to say," Heath said as he backed Jake up to the counter.

"I shudder to think," Jake muttered, as he hopped up to perch on the Formica.

Heath moved between Jake's thighs, resting his hands on his lover's hips. "No worries; I'm not going to say it out loud, but I will tell you that it involved Lance Bass."

"I'm in love with a crazy person," Jake said fondly as he looked down into Heath's eyes.

"Really? Are you going to leave me for him?"

Jake framed Heath's face in his hands. "Never," he said as he leaned in for a kiss. Heath wrapped his arms around Jake's back and pulled him forward until their crotches were pressed firmly together. The kiss deepened, their tongues sliding over one another as their hard cocks rocked, rolled and rubbed together.

"Every time," Jake gasped as their lips parted. "You kiss me and I feel like my bones just melted. How do you do that?"

"I caught it from you," Heath said as he peeled Jake's T-shirt up to his armpits. "The first time you kissed me. I remember the first time I saw this body. I knew I had to have you or never rest again."

Jake reached between them to take hold of a cock with each hand. Heath sucked in a harsh breath as Jake smacked the head of his shaft lightly against his lover's, before gathering both in one hand. Letting a glob of saliva fall from his lips, Jake used it to slick his palm as he stroked the hard shafts together. Heath pulled Jake's head down for another kiss, groaning into the other man's mouth as Jake thumbed the sensitive head of his cock. Pulsing his hips, Heath thrust into Jake's fist, rubbing the underside of his arousal against Jake's. "Fuck, that feels good," Jake breathed, breaking the kiss for air.

"Makes me glad I have a willie," Heath agreed, running his palms down Jake's shoulders to his chest, brushing the pink nipples in their haloes of dark hair. "Strike me, Jazza; every time I think it can't get any better…" Heath's voice trailed off in a groan.

"It does," Jake finished for him. "And its about to get a whole lot better. I'm not up for a lot of foreplay. You mind just fucking the daylights outta me?" Heath's arousal twitched against Jake's palm and Jake grinned. "I'm taking that as a yes," he said, reaching across the counter for a bottle of cooking oil.

"Let me," Heath said, holding out his hand. Jake unwrapped his legs from around Heath's waist and propped his heels against the edge of the counter. Heath gazed on the riches laid bare to him and had to blink back the extra moisture that gathered in his eyes. "I love you so much," he said. "I can hardly believe my luck sometimes. That I get to have you."

Jake sighed as Heath ran a slick finger along his crack, rubbing lightly at his entrance. "I know just what you mean," he said. "When I knocked on your door that day, I had no idea what I was getting into."

"It's all so unlikely," Heath said, pulsing his fingertip against the ring of muscle that guarded Jake's sheath. "Someone like you willing to perform sex for money."

"I told you. I was in a weird space. I probably would've tried heroin if someone had offered it to me. I can't explain it, babe; I think I just reached some kind of dead end and didn't want to admit it. I ran around grabbing at anything that made me feel alive, like I wasn't locked into some perfect, sanitized, Disneyfied, white bread, Ivey League, country club life. That life doesn't seem so bad to me now. Mom and Dad sure seem happy with it."

"Everybody has to grow up some time," Heath said, easing his finger into Jake. Jake's retort went unvoiced as all his breath was commandeered in a gasp of pleasure. Heath curled his finger in a coaxing gesture and stroked the resilient bump again. Jake's legs began to tremble as Heath added a second finger, twisting into the tight passage, probing, sliding, and teasing in short, darting jabs interspersed with long moments spent rubbing against every surface of the velvet sheath. "I love the look you get on your face when I do this," Heath said. "It's like a little preview of heaven."

"Nguhahhhhhhh," Jake said succinctly.

Heath pulled his fingers from the tight heat and reached for the bottle. Jake got there first. Pouring a stream of oil into his palm, Jake reached for Heath's cock as he hooked his ankles around Heath's thighs. Heath took hold of Jake's upstanding rod, rubbing little circles with his thumb over the strawberry-shaped tip. Jake made the little whimpering moan with a catch in it that always went straight from Heath's ears to the end of his dick, bringing the pre-cum up like sap in the Spring. Making love with Jake made him feel more alive than anything he'd ever done, and maybe that's how it was for Jake, too. Abruptly unable to wait another second, Heath pulled his length from Jake's fist and lifted one of Jake's feet to rest against his chest. Jake was bent almost double, his knee nearly touching the cabinet above his head, but he didn't complain.

"Fuck yeah," Jake breathed. "I love it when you get a little rough, when you're frantic to take me. It makes me so fuckin' hot. Come on, babe. Give it to me."

Heath yanked Jake's ass a little farther forward and seated the head of his cock. This was a delicate moment when Jake was bottoming. Jake loved being taken with abandon, but he also loved the sensation of being penetrated slowly, and Heath strove to strike a balance that pleased his lover. When Heath bottomed it was a different story, and one that would wait for another time. Right now, Jake was moaning at the end of his dick and the small soft sounds of his lover in need were sending bolts of heat lightning through Heath's groin. His excitement was mounting so rapidly, that he ran the risk of shooting off outside Jake if he didn't sheath himself soon. He loved the long, leisurely bouts they indulged in when they decided to take a day off and just enjoy each other, but, like Jake, he also craved these moments when it felt like he'd implode like a dying star if he couldn't have Jake that instant. They had talked about that intensity of feeling, wondering if it would ever fade, or when. Heath believed an enduring flame had been struck in their hearts when they met and Jake had said that he believed it, too.

Heath looked up from point where his shaft was disappearing in the world's oldest magic trick. Jake's gaze had gone soft and cloudy, veiled constellations twinkling faintly in the silver blue shadows, the windows of heaven thrown open, the sapphire lamps lit with star fire, and Heath knew he was home. Jake nodded slowly, mesmerized by the emotion that shone so clearly from the ancient amber of Heath's eyes flowing over him like sun-warmed honey, bathing him in warmth and light, filling him with joy that this man was his, that they belonged to one another, and they could do this whenever they wanted. He reached up to pull Heath's head down as Heath's hard flesh sank into him by degrees. Heath leaned in and covered Jake's mouth with his as he sheathed his full length.

"Strewth, Jazza," Heath groaned against Jake's lips. "I could go right now." Jake bore down on the shaft that stretched him so agreeably and Heath sagged forward at the exquisite sensation. "You're an evil tease," he gasped out. "And I love it. But you know what they say about payback." Heath began to flex his buttocks, shifting his arousal subtly in the tight channel, backing out until only half his length was sheathed. Wrapping an arm around Jake's thigh, he took hold of Jake's weeping cock with his other hand, and thrust in short, rolling strokes. Jake moaned and panted, his taut belly trembling at each shallow stroke that dragged over his most susceptible spot. Heath was nearly blind with lust from Jake's retaliatory squeeze and release tactics, and countered by thrusting deeper and harder until they were rocking against one another in a sprint to the finish line. As the sweet tension in their balls escalated to the point of ignition, the power of Heath's thrusts produced a squeaking noise as Jake's ass rubbed against the Formica. They looked at one another and cracked up until Jake's laughter ended in a yelp of ecstasy, as he spilled hot thick cum over Heath's knuckles. Heath continued to stroke the spurting cock, smearing viscous fluid down the shaft and over the empty sack, as he buried his erupting shaft in the quaking quicksand. He put his fingers to Jake's lips, groaning in bliss as his lover sucked them clean, while his seed unfurled deep inside the man he loved. They clung together as afterglow bloomed outward from the point where they joined. "Never, ever will I get tired of this," Heath purred as he bent until his forehead rested against Jake's.

Jake uncoiled, relaxing one muscle at a time, until at last he relinquished his grip on Heath's shaft. Heath withdrew, snagging a tea towel off the sink to clean up with. Grabbing another clean towel, he placed it under Jake and wrapped his sated lover in his arms. Jake squeezed Heath's hips with his thighs, running the soles of his feet up the back of Heath's legs, as he lolled against his man. Heath fulfilled his prophecy, lapping at the fine sheen of sweat on Jake's neck and shoulders, working his way up to those enticing lips. A few lazy kisses later, Jake gave in to his thirst and slid down from the counter to get a bottle of water. After taking several long swallows, he pulled his T-shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor next to his pants, before kicking the bundle toward the laundry room. Heath watched his naked lover turn the bottle up and drink down the remainder of the water and the simple act fired his desire anew. Shedding his orange pullover, Heath threw it at Jake.

"What the fuck, dude?" Jake said, as water splashed over him. Heath didn't answer; he just let his kindling gaze rest on Jake until Jake got the message. With a snap of his wrist, Jake flung the rest of the bottle's contents at Heath and it was on again.