Lesson #1
"Okay, I'm seriously disappointed. In every single college movie, you enter the dorm and it's one big party. I've been here twenty minutes and all I've done is stand in line. And I can't see anything. Can you see the front? Are they actually doing anything or is this some kind of new freshman hazing?"
Jared looked down at the blonde in front of him before gazing over her head to where the line met the first row of tables.
"Well, they're handing out keys. I have no proof that they open doors and it's likely that they're requiring us to sign our souls away first, but there are keys. I'm Jared by the way."
"I'm Allie. I better get the good side of the room for this. I called my roommate before I moved in and she's not coming until Monday. She's a sophomore and you'd think that would have been a hint to just wait until Sunday to show up, but no, I had to be the person that shows up as soon as the doors open. We're going to be friends so that next year, you can remind me of this and we'll both show up on Monday."
Jared laughed as Allie plopped down on her suitcase and let her purse fall to the floor with the rest of her bags.
"It's a deal. While I'm at it, I'll remind you to find someone to watch your million suitcases." Jared nodded to the corner where he'd left his parents and sister. "Why on earth are you in line with all that stuff?"
"Hey, not everyone comes with an entourage to watch their stuff. I flew in from Long Beach."
"Long Beach?"
"California. I'm guessing you're local?"
"Kind of. But not from here in Austin. San Antonio. About an hour and a half from here."
"Oh god, are you going to be one of those people that goes home every weekend? Because I totally wanted to be your friend so you could help me carry all this crap to my room, but it's going to suck if you're gone every weekend. I might have to replace you."
"Hey! Come on now. No way am I going to be one of those people. My brother is one of those people and it took all the fun out of him moving out of the house."
Allie laughed as Jared helped her move her bags forward until they were both first at the long row of tables. The tiny blonde that already reminded Jared of Allie put two long contracts in front of them.
"Hi, I'm Kristen. I get to welcome you to Texas University. I'm the RA on the fifth floor. My job today is to go over this great list of rules for you so that when you get caught breaking them, you can't claim ignorance. Yes, I know it's boring and you could care less, but you only have to hear this once and I have to say it fifty times, so you guys are totally winning."
Jared figured he was kind of right before when he guessed that they were going to have to sign their lives away as he listened to Kristen tell them about all kinds of rules he fully intended to break.
"Okay, and now seriously, no explosives, guys. Please try to actually not break that one."
Kristen pointed out the place for them to sign their souls away before directing them to the next table.
"Think he'd hate me all year if I tried to rub his head for luck?" Allie whispered in Jared's ear as the guy behind the table waited for Jared to get all her bags moved with them.
"I'm the third floor RA if you'd like to try that out in my room later." The guy smirked as Allie's cheeks turned the color of the red index cards on the table.
"Mike, stop perving on the freshman." The RA at the next table reached over, swatting him on the arm.
"You know I was going to let you have the other one, but if you're going to be like that."
When the other man ignored him, Mike turned back to Jared and Allie and pushed the red index cards at them.
"Okay, these little cards are what we use to look up who you want us to call when you get drunk and fall out your window. I suggest you list your parents. I know you may not want them to know you got drunk and fell out your window. But they have the insurance and the money and I promise that they'll get over the whole drunk thing once they hear about the window thing."
As Jared and Allie finally got to the last table, Jared was trying to figure out how he could talk his dad into carrying all Allie's stuff to her room. How much does he really need a friend anyway? Besides, Allie was already drooling all over the guy at the table so he guessed he was wrong in his hope that he'd be rid of his virginity by Christmas break. If all the upperclassmen looked like this, he'd still be very much not screwed.
"Hey guys. I'm Jensen, the sixth floor RA. I just need you to hand over your IDs and I can get your keys."
Jared fished his license out of his wallet and wondered if they just hired this guy to balance out Mike and Kristen. Like maybe they had a quota on perky craziness and it was filled already by those two so they had to find this guy.
The guy did smile though when he found their names on the list.
"Hey, well, looks like you guys are both on my floor. I'll be down here for the next couple hours, but I'll be in my room after that if you need anything. Mandatory hall meeting down here Sunday at six. Mandatory floor meeting right after that."
Jared started working on getting all Allie's bags moved again while Allie beamed at Jensen; who was doing nothing but sitting there unlike Jared who was carrying all her stuff.
"You guys already know each other?"
"No, we just met in line," Allie answered. Traitor.
Jared almost dropped her suitcase when Jensen reached out and caught his wrist.
"Okay, man. As your RA, I feel I need to help you out here. College girls? They're not all nice. You gotta be more careful or you're going to be carrying everything that every girl moves into this place while they hook up with the assholes."
"Hey!" Allie objected while Jensen laughed. "I was wonderful entertainment through this line you guys put us through! Jared. You trust me, right? You've known me way, way longer than this guy."
"I don't know. I mean he's older and wiser." Jared pretended to start putting down her suitcase.
"Come on. We're friends, right? Okay, so I didn't promise to sleep with you. But hey, I'm hot, so either way I'm bound to have all kinds of hot friends I can introduce you to."
"Well, okay. I guess if that's the deal, I can work with that." Jared exchanged a smirk with Jensen as he started to maneuver her suitcases out of the line.
~*~
Jared had only been at college for two hours and he was already exhausted. Even with his dad helping, it took two trips to get all of Allie's stuff upstairs to her room and then another trip for his stuff. Then he had to convince his family to go home and convince his mom that she really did not need to come up the next weekend before classes started to check on him.
And on top of all that, he had no idea where his roommate was. He'd gotten his roommate's name and phone number weeks ago and called him just like Allie. His name was Chad and he was from New York and he was supposed to be here at noon. Supposedly he'd flown in the previous night with his family. Okay, so he sounded like kind of an ass on the phone, but he'd promised to bring a microwave and a TV so it would kind of suck to have a different roommate. And the names on the door were Jerad and Alex. So not only was he wondering who the hell Alex was, but his own name was spelled wrong.
Jared was just about to doze off when the door opened and a head poked in the door.
Apparently Alex looked about twelve years old and wore glasses. At least Jared knew he could get all the girls that came to visit. He was just thinking that maybe it wasn't so fair for him to be calling Chad an ass when the guy extended his hand.
"Hey, I'm Jerad. I'm guessing you're Alex? You know, you don't look anything like you said on the phone."
Jared stared. Okay, so his momma would kill him for not reaching right now to shake hands, but he was pretty sure he had a good reason here.
"Um, no. I'm Jared. And I'm also completely confused now."
The guy heaved a sigh way too big for the situation and reached in one of his bags to pull out one of those expanding folders Jared's mom used to keep track of the homework from the different classes she taught.
He held out a piece of paper with his room assignment to Jared. Okay, so maybe Jared had no idea where his paper was or even if he'd packed it.
Sure enough, it read "Jerad Cain - Forrest Hall 607."
Shit.
~*~
"You really don't have to help me. I don't have all that much stuff anyway."
"I let you move all your stuff into the wrong room. You have to at least let me help you move all over again."
"If it makes you feel better. But man, where were you when I was carrying Allie's stuff? The girl had an entire suitcase of shoes."
Jensen hefted Jared's box of pretty much what he decided was "desk stuff" and carried it across the hall-where what was clearly the good side of the room was already taken. Jared winced as he saw the rip in the mattress cover.
"Ah man, I'm sorry. You got here when we opened and waited in line and still got the shit side of the room because I fucked up."
"It's no big deal. Maybe he got here at like the crack of dawn. There were tons of people ahead of me. Could've happened anyway." Or not. Because Jared knew Chad said he wasn't getting up before eleven, but Jensen looked so upset about the whole thing he figured it was worth lying about.
"And that's what I'm going to hear you say when you get up and bang your head because the ceiling's slanted over the bed on this side?"
Jared noticed Jensen's cheeks redden as what he said sunk in. Obviously, Jensen didn't mean that like it sounded. And of course, Jared didn't want him to. So maybe Jared had noticed the muscles in Jensen's back when he was carrying that box. He was just wondering what kind of workout Jensen did to get those muscles. Which may not have sounded a lot better, but Jared really just wanted to get some muscles girls would notice too.
"Dude, if there is anyone present to tell you what I say when I get up and bang my head in the morning, I'm not going to be worried about hitting my head." Jared smiled and noticed Jensen relax. There was absolutely nothing to be awkward about.
~*~
"Jared!" Allie's voice carried through the door followed by way more giggles than Jared thought Allie should be able to produce alone and crazy pounding.
"Do I really want to admit it's open?" Jared got his answer as the door flew open and Allie bounced in followed by two new girls.
"Oh, he is cute!" the first girl pretty much squealed before jumping onto Jared's bed and making herself comfortable.
"See, Jared! I told you I was worth making friends with." Allie grinned and pointed to the girl on his bed. "Meet Amanda from 617 and her roommate Sandy."
"I don't know. I mean, he's cute, but did you see Jensen?" Sandy smiled and hid a little behind her long dark locks as she leaned against Jared's desk.
"No shit. I mean, he wouldn't even have to do anything. I think I could just watch him get naked and have like orgasms just from that." Amanda lay back on the bed and writhed on the bed in demonstration. It was unfair such a hot reaction couldn't be on his behalf.
"Well, that's good because you spent like twenty minutes trying to hit on him and I'm not sure he's even interested in getting you off that way." Allie wandered to Jared's desk and started digging around in the drawers.
"Looking for anything in particular?"
"Anything interesting. I mean, somehow it looks like you have all your books for your classes already. That is so lame that I'm embarrassed for you, by the way. It's all notebooks and pens and pretty much nothing interesting at all. I was hoping for at least a Playboy, but there's not even Maxim."
"Oh, Allie! You just don't know where to look!" Amanda slid so her head hung over the edge of the bed and pulled a box out from under it.
Even Sandy sat down on the floor to look as Amanda pulled it open.
Jared smirked as she pulled out the first aid kit that his mom forced on him, followed by a book on college cooking and how to survive with just a microwave from his brother.
"Okay, fine. I was wrong." Amanda pushed the box back under the bed and got up so she could lift the mattress.
"Give up, Amanda. Look at him. He's not even worried." Sandy paused, and then cocked her head at Jared like she was reading his mind. "Oh my gosh. I think he actually has no porn."
"You're insane. Every guy has porn."
Jared was still trying to figure if not having porn was a good thing or a bad thing when the door opened.
"Hey man. You have three hot girls in here and they are talking about porn. This year is going to rock!"
~*~
Lesson #1: College girls are really not so nice.
Read lesson #2 of 32 of Aleia's Things I Learned My Freshmen Year of College
