Dude, you're never going to do it. Your attention span isn't long enough. I'll pay you twenty bucks to give up."

"That kills it," Mike insisted. "I have to earn it."

"I won't save the money, then."

"I'm going to get it."

"Uh huh. Sure." Mike would probably still be trying to beat Mario when he was eighty.

"Whatever, I'll beat Mario before you get some balls and actually tell Jared he makes you hot."

"Neither of those things are ever going to happen. I'm not telling Jared that I think he's hot when I know he's straight."

"Because he told you, point blank, that he's straight."

"He doesn't have to. Now shut it. I told Sam I'd prop my door open, and I'm going to have to close it if you don't stop saying that shit." He really didn't need Jared coming home and hearing this shit.

"Yeah, well, Sam is right. If only because if you leave your door open, certain residents might come hang out with you more."

"I hate you. Shut up, or I'm telling Allie you've done nothing but drool over her since she moved in. You haven't made a move, and you know she likes guys." Mario ran off a cliff, and Mike cursed before handing him the controller.

"I hit on her once."

"Yeah, before she knew you at all. So shut up."

The hall door opened and closed, and they both fell quiet. It could be Jared, and okay, Jensen knew Allie was safe in her room, but he didn't need to tell Mike that. Jared walked by the door carrying his books, and Jensen shot Mike a glare. He didn't need Jared freaking out when he was just trying to be Jared's friend. Just because he recognized Jared's hotness didn't mean he had some massive crush on him. Even if Jared wasn't straight, he was a virgin, and he was obviously looking for something long term.

Mike nodded toward the door, but Jensen shook his head. Jared hadn't even looked in and waved. He was probably busy. When Jared walked by again, still carrying his books, Mike raised an eyebrow.

"You suck at being social." Mike was right. He should probably find out what was up.

The hall door slammed open again. He heard Jared talking to whoever came in, but he couldn't make out the words. He shrugged and handed the controller back to Mike. Mario had died as soon as Jensen had seen Jared.

Mike was actually doing pretty well when Sandy poked her head in the door.

"We come seeking asylum."

"Seriously? It's the middle of the day." Jensen had to laugh. He'd heard both her and Jared complaining three or four times each in the last week. Alexis had slept in his room twice so Sandy could have her bed.

"Shh. Don't fuck up my game." Mike growled as Jensen sat up. He kind of expected Sandy to sit on the bed next to him, but she dropped on the couch next to Mike, leaving Jared to sit on the bed. Jared was on his bed. Not that he cared. He was not interested in Jared like that. There was a difference between being interested and acknowledging that Jared was hot… and that he smelled good.

"Old school Super Mario Bros?" Jared smiled, and Jensen turned his eyes on the game. He could do this if he didn't have to see the dimples. "Dude, you have, like, thirty lives."

"Not how we play," Jensen explained, finally relaxing a little. Jared was his friend, after all. He'd had a crush on Tom in the beginning, too, but he'd gotten over it once he was sure Tom was straight. "He's allowed to play until he dies. Then we start over, and it's my turn. Or you can have a turn. Waterworld is next. He always dies in waterworld."

"It's not my fault I can't swim!" Mike always tried to use that as an excuse.

"It's a video game, Mike. Not being able to swim is not an excuse, man."

"I don't get it." Sandy looked at around the room and then back at him. "You have an Xbox, and you have a PS2. But you're playing Mario on a system made in the '80s."

"Dude. It's classic!" Jared stared at her and then turned to Jensen and rolled his eyes. "You can't turn against the classics."

"That's what Amanda says about using Trojan condoms." Sandy smirked, and he could see Jared's cheeks go a little pink at just the mention of condoms. He didn't think that was cute at all.

"Lifestyles are better. The Ultra Sensitive kind." Mike turned to look at Sandy when he spoke, and suddenly Super Mario became small Mario. "Dammit!"

Jensen laughed. Mike deserved it. "Face it, man, you're never going to get through the whole game. You don't have the attention span."

Sandy turned to him, confused, until he explained. "Two years ago, I bet him ten bucks that he couldn't get through the entire game without dying. Unfortunately, I didn't set a time limit, so every time he goes broke, he's in my room trying again."

"Two years? Man, it would not take me two years to do that." Jared laughed as Mario died. Again. Because Mike could not swim.

"Wanna bet?" Mike asked. He really should have seen this coming. Mike could never turn down a bet.

"So, what, I have two years minus one day to pull this off?"

"Exactly. And you have to have witnesses. Plural. As in more than one. Two years from today, I'm collecting my ten bucks."

"Deal. Except I'll be collecting my ten bucks way before that." Jared took the controller from Mike as Jensen met Sandy's eyes and groaned. Apparently, Jared was as bad as Mike.

"At least there's a time limit on this one. I swear, in ten years, Mike's still gonna be trying. He'll probably still be in college, too," Jensen told her and Sandy giggled.

"Hey!" Mike protested. "This coming from the fifth year senior."

"Not the same. I had to take two semesters off. You've been in school the entire time without graduating. And it's not looking like year seven is the end."

"But I already finished a theatre major and an English major. Who knew a damn English major would only take one extra year? This education one is gonna take way longer."

"Shit." Jared bit his lip as Super Mario downsized. Not that Jensen was looking at his lips.

"Ha! You aren't even going to make it halfway. Ten dollars is all mine."

"I haven't played this in two years. I'm just warming up."

"I'm not getting a moment of peace for the rest of the year, am I?" Jensen said, and he couldn't help grinning when Jared looked over at him. He could deal with having Jared in his room all the time. Jared held his gaze too long, and Jensen tried not to get excited when Mario died.

"Dude. Not even halfway! My turn!" Mike was way too excited as he took the controller from Jared, but at least it turned Jared away from him for a bit. He could get his composure now and act normal. He could ask normal, concerned RA things.

"I'm never getting a turn again." Jensen leaned back against the wall. He didn't really want to play anyway. He wanted to prove he could just be Jared's friend and ask how things were going. Hell, he probably should have checked on both Sandy and Jared when he realized how often they got kicked out of their rooms. He kicked Jared lightly to get his attention. "You guys have been getting kicked out of your room a lot."

"Yeah. We had some hope for a while that they'd just hook up with each other so we'd have another room to sleep in, but apparently, Amanda has higher standards. It's no big deal, though. At least if it's in the afternoon, we can sleep in our rooms." Jared shrugged and smiled at him again. Well, at least Jared wasn't so fed up with Chad that he'd ask to move to a different room-which could put him on a different floor, which would only suck because he liked Jared as a friend.

"Yeah, we can't exactly be mad that Amanda has some standards either. Jared's just bitter because she brought home a girl last week, and he was studying instead of watching a movie with me like I asked him to. So he totally missed them making out."

"Fuck!" Mario went over the edge of a cliff, and Mike handed the controller back to Jared. "Okay, that game doesn't count. No one can hold that against me."

"I can," Jensen pointed out, laughing, because seriously? Sandy had no idea how much Mike fantasized about girls making out with each other. He probably stayed in college just because college girls did it at parties.

"Yeah, well, when you hear about Tom and Chris making out or whatever, and you walk off a cliff, I'll hold that against you, too."

"Dude! Tom and Chris? Don't make me throw up. That's just gross." He was going to kill Mike later for putting that image in his head. Sure, Tom was kind of hot, but Jensen really was over that because Tom was kind of boring. And Chris? That was just wrong. Chris wasn't hot to him in any way, and that was good because he was pretty sure it would freak Chris out if Jensen did think so.

"Aww. They're going to be so crushed you don't think they're hot."

"Somehow, I think they'll understand." He shot Mike a glare. He was going to have nightmares if this image stuck in his head.

"Amanda promised to bring her back so Jared could watch, but he wouldn't agree to her terms." Sandy smirked, and Jared's cheeks turned red again as he glared at her. Super Mario ran into an evil mushroom and shrunk. Huh. What was Jared freaking out about?

"What! Man, are you insane? What are these terms, and how can I make them happen? I'm prepared to go to any lengths," Mike asked. Jared's eyes stayed glued to the screen even as his cheeks went red.

"She said he had to make out with Jensen so we could watch. I don't know if you can do anything about that. I'm pretty sure it had to be Jared and Jensen. But I can find out if she'll take you and some other guy as a substitute. Or maybe she'll take you and Jensen."

Okay, the blushing was cute. Jensen could admit that, but he couldn't enjoy it when Jared looked like he wanted to die. He was actually relieved for Jared when Mike turned the attention on him.

"You think she might?" Mike cocked his head and wiggled his eyebrows at Jensen.

"Mike. Under no circumstances will I make out with you. Ever. I have standards, too." Jensen was really going to have nightmares now. He was going to have to make Lexi sleep in his bed to protect him from dreams about Mike trying to make out with him.

"Come on, man. Take one for the team. It'll totally be worth it."

"For me? Nope. It really won't." Maybe it would be worth it if he got to make out with Jared, but Jared was mortified by the idea, and he wasn't interested in watching the girls.

"Okay. Fine. I'm sure we can find someone both you and Amanda can agree on."

"I'm not making out with some random guy so you can watch two girls make out." He'd be more offended if Mike hadn't tried this before.

"Okay, then make out with Jared. He's your friend, so he's not random, but not so much that he's like a brother. And I bet you think he's hot. Well, okay, I'm kind of just trusting Alexis's judgment on this one. But you guys usually agree unless you're talking about Tom. Come on. Someone work with me here!" Mike tried to look innocent, but Jensen could see the evil in his eyes. He didn't need Mike pointing out that he thought Jared was hot. Later, Mike was going to die.

"Seriously. Damn, that would be hot. If you guys do it, I'll make out with Amanda. And I could talk to Allie. For that, she'd probably agree to a triple kiss." Sandy was evil. Why had he just now figured this out?

"What? Okay. Now I have to see this. Jared, I'm willing to do your homework for the rest of the year. Seriously. I've probably already taken all your classes anyway."

Jared looked kind of like Mike's suggestion was going to make him throw up. Probably because he didn't want to look homophobic for not wanting to do it. Which was stupid. He was straight. He shouldn't have to make out with a guy to prove he was okay with gay people. It was enough that he'd sat on Jensen's bed without thinking about it and acting all weird.

"Okay, Mike, chill out. We're people. You can't just whore us out for entertainment. And you're about to give Jared a heart attack. He's not used to you yet. He doesn't know to not take a single thing you say seriously." He was going to be really pissed if Jared avoided him because Mike couldn't let go of this shit.

"This is very serious!"

"You know, this is why you will never beat the game. You always get distracted, man."

"Whatever. I'm going to win this time. Jared, give me the damn controller." Mike took the controller back, and just like that, he forgot about it. Sometimes, Mike's short attention span had its advantages-especially when Jared turned to him and smiled.

~*~

To: Jensen
From: Pete
Subject: I'm getting one of those shirts that says I'm With Stupid

Why didn't you just go along with Mike? You could've made out with Jared, and I know you want to!

Which really makes me think that you've really fallen for him already.

How bad is it? Is it worse than Tom?

~*~

To: Pete
From: Jensen
Subject: Re: I'm getting one of those shirts that says I'm With Stupid

1. Jared was not into the idea. He was so embarrassed he was going to have a heart attack if I didn't make Mike shut up.

2. It's not worse than Tom. Well, okay, it's worse than Tom because Jared's not just hot. He's actually interesting. But it's not in that he's just a hot straight guy. Chris and Mike are freaking out because they don't think I've ever had a thing for a straight guy before, so they don't know I'll just move on whenever I find a gay guy who's just as interesting.

~*~

"We have to do one alcohol safety and one safer sex program in the first semester. Of course, with this staff, it should be fucking easy, considering what drunken whores you all are," Samantha said as she took her seat in the living room of her apartment.

"Hey! I'm so not a drunken whore," Kristen pointed out.

"Fair enough. How'd you get on this staff again?"

"You wanted to have someone around who wouldn't be too busy getting laid to answer their phone at night?"

"I answer my phone!" Mike said.

"Because you've had no luck getting laid." Eliza smirked.

"Well, some of us have standards. We can't all just bring home a different guy every night."

"Please, I'm not the worst. I'd know. I spent all last night listening to Jensen moan." Eliza tipped back her head and groaned loud. "Oh, yeah, just like that. Suck me harder, you pretty naïve boy I picked up at the club."

"I don't sound like that."

"At least when they just suck him off, I don't have to listen to the banging. I didn't hear anything last night," Kristen added.

"You should come upstairs next time. It's so much better. It's like free porn."

"You're making this shit up. My residents don't complain, and you know damn well Amanda would tell everyone if she heard."

"You have the men's bathroom on one side and two frat boys on the other side. You got lucky. If you had the girls' bathroom, there'd be a crowd. Maybe I should invite Amanda to my room next time." Eliza was evil.

"I'd kill you. And ruin your sex life somehow."

"So you admit you're that loud?"

"Only when I have to drown out your bed banging on my ceiling."

"Please, I was all by myself last night. Just me, your sex noises, and the new vibrator I got in the mail yesterday."

"What'd you get?" Danneel asked, and even if he didn't want to know, he didn't mind the subject change.

"The Cloud 10 Venus butterfly."

"What the hell is that?" Why did girls always have sex toys shaped like butterflies and rabbits and dolphins?

"It's this strap-on butterfly, but it's got this dildo that sticks out of the stomach, which makes no sense but feels awesome, and this really long tail that goes in your ass. I figured you sounded like you liked it so much, it was worth a try."

"And?"

"It was hot and a really good intro, but I think I want something bigger. The tail's only like an inch or two around. But everything else I found doesn't have the thing that goes in my cunt. I want both."

"I'll forward you my websites. I've never actually looked at it, but they have sections for girls with double penetration stuff."

"Okay." Samantha rolled her eyes and interrupted. "So you two are doing the sex half. We need a vet on it, though. Mike or Adam? Mike, didn't you do alcohol last year? You should do something different."

"I've done them both, but I can do the sex one. We should advertise them as a combo, though. I did that two years ago, and we got way more people than last year."

"Okay, you got any ideas?"

"Um, I say we do alcohol first and we serve mock-tails. The girls always show up for that shit. Then do the sex one a week later and serve sex foods. I'm sure Jensen and Eliza can come up with sex foods."

"Can we call it, 'food you can lick off a cock?'" Eliza asked.

"I think that might scare away the lesbians. We're trying to be equal opportunity here," Kristen pointed out.

"Before we get off topic with lesbians, the rest of you are okay doing the alcohol part?"

Getting nods from the remaining RAs, Samantha went over a few of the dates.

"So how do we name this thing so they go together? You know Kristen and I will be stuck making the signs," Danneel asked after they set dates.

"How to not get pregnant from the ugly person you picked up when you were drunk?" Eliza suggested.

"That leaves out guys and gay people. It should be 'How to not get crabs from the skank you picked up in the bar.'" Jensen liked to make sure everyone was included.

"So you admit you pick up skanky guys in bars?" Danneel giggled.

"No. It's for the people that pick up Jensen," Mike said, like he had good taste.

"I'm not skanky. I'm clean." Seriously. He got tested every few months and everything.

"Because you know how to not get STDs, which is why you're doing this program to help all the future sluts." Samantha laughed, and he was really glad Pete and Chris could keep secrets because he didn't need Mike to correct her.

"How about 'So You Have Herpes.'" Eliza laughed as she said it.

"Or 'Chlamydia Is Not A Flower,'" Kristen said.

"Neither of those mentions the drinking part." Mike sighed, like working with rookies was so hard.

"Let's Get Drunk and Fuck." Eliza smirked. "It's what Jensen says to pick up his flavors of the week. He's lucky he's hot."

"Fuck you."

"Okay, but you'd have to touch my cunt."

"Gross."

"I'm separating you two." Samantha rolled her eyes, but he could see her trying not to laugh.

"It's not so bad, though. How about 'Let's Get Drunk and Screw?' We can't write fuck on the signs," Danneel said, looking around the room.

"We're really going to call a program 'Let's Get Drunk and Screw?'" Kristen looked around and sighed when she saw everyone nodding. "How did I end up on this staff?"

~*~

"Why do I believe anything you guys tell me? Why did I even get in Steve's van with you people? Why did I not look at Mike, Jensen, Eliza, and Alexis all saying I should go with them and say no?" Kristen sighed as they pushed open the door to Sinsations.

"Because Steve asked you with his soulful eyes that make every girl say yes to whatever he wants?" Jensen answered and rolled his eyes. It was a good thing Steve was straight. He didn't need that kind of competition.

"Yeah. I'm mad at you." Kristen tried to glare at Steve.

"But if you didn't come, I'd have to be here with this group of people all by myself because they already talked me into driving them." Steve turned to her and pouted, and she just melted. Life was not fair. Steve got away with everything he ever did, but then, he'd helped Jensen out of trouble more than once, so Jensen could forgive him.

"Okay, fine. But you have to protect me."

"You're bringing me new customers again?" Crystal jumped off the counter and kissed his cheek.

"Always. New piercing?" Jensen lifted his hand to her mouth to see the barbell inside.

"Yeah, the girls like it."

"So I've heard."

"Don't worry. I'll spare you the dirty details." Crystal grinned and turned to Lexi. "Hey, Lexi. I know you. I need everyone else's IDs."

Crystal scanned over everyone else's IDs, getting to Kristen last and smiling. "Huh, even cute in the driver's license picture. Not a lot of girls can pull that one off."

"Don't scare her. She's a porn store virgin." Jensen pulled her away as Kristen started to turn red.

"For someone who keeps us in business, you're really no fun. So what're you looking for today?"

"For the group? We have to give a safer sex program."

"So you want basics plus some fun stuff?"

"Mostly fun stuff. We got free basics on campus, so we have lots of condoms already."

"Okay, so I've got a tub of the cheap flavored condoms you like. You guys can just pick what flavors you want. Oh, and that lube you like? They make it in little packets now. I was going to suggest you take some anyway. It's so much easier to take with you to clubs. Do you want, like, samples of different kinds of lube? Because it's really sad people don't know about silicone lube."

"It really is." He loved Crystal for that one. No more reapplying constantly because the lube soaked into his skin and he was getting dry.

"Just make sure you tell the girls not to use the flavored condoms for sex."

"Yeah, we know," Eliza broke in.

"Don't get bubblegum. It's gross." Eliza said as Kristen reached in the tub.

"I can't believe you know that." Kristen groaned and threw the offending condom back.

"Everyone knows that. Right, Jensen?"

"Yeah. Bubble gum and banana are gross. Mint chocolate, cookies and cream, and blue raspberry are the best."

"And orange cream," Eliza added, "but cherry tastes like cough syrup."

"Getting anything for yourselves?" Crystal asked as they sorted through the tub of flavored condoms. Was it selfish to pick out most of the mint chocolate ones for himself? Maybe he could rationalize that if he was using flavored condoms for blow jobs, it meant he was going to be hooking up with random guys instead of Justin. And that was good, right? He should get some blue raspberry too. Just for variety.

"Eliza wanted to know if you have any good double penetration vibes."

"We have a few over here, you wanna come look. I haven't tried any myself, but I can tell you what the girl who works the morning shift swears by," Crystal answered and motioned for Eliza to follow her across the store.

"Okay, so what's our budget?" Alexis turned to pout at Steve, but Jensen knew it wouldn't work. Steve had started collecting their money before they could go in when he found receipts and figured out the reason they had no money to eat. It really wasn't fair. That was after Justin got really mad at him and refused to fuck him for three weeks. He needed to spend three hundred dollars to make up for it. But Steve came to see Crystal and everything and made her promise to not let Jensen buy more than condoms and lube without approval and everything. Which was kind of the opposite of her job, but Steve's pout even worked on lesbians.

"You can spend one hundred. Jensen gets fifty bucks."

"Why do I get only fifty bucks?"

"Because you're almost broke. I'm not feeding you for a week because you spent it on sex toys." Steve was evil and had really stupid priorities.

"The condoms don't count toward the fifty bucks." Technically, he could buy those without Steve's approval, and Steve should be proud he was being safe.

"Yes, they do."

"Then I'll get them later."

"You're really going to make a separate trip just so you can have a higher budget?" Steve asked, then sighed when he nodded. "Fine, the condoms don't count."

"Come on, before he changes his mind." Lexi grinned and pulled him off toward the vibrators.

"What do you want?" he asked as they stopped in front of the first wall. Lexi was never adventurous enough. She had three different versions of that rabbit thing all the girls liked and a few bullet things.

"Something different."

"You need to try something on your ass. Eliza liked it. You can't say it's just because I'm a guy anymore."

"I'm not sticking anything up my butt. You're not a good judge. I've seen the toys you put up your ass."

"I'm not saying you should put anything up your ass. Just like…" Jensen sighed and scanned over the girl toys. Every single thing was shaped like some kind of a bug or animal. There was a platypus. Why the fuck was there a platypus? How was that hot? Finally, he found a butterfly that didn't look too bad. "How about this?"

"Huh? So it just, like, presses on my ass in the back?"

"Yeah. And you still have the cock and the front part for all that other girl stuff."

"Okay. Fine, but you have to find me something else waterproof. Because I wanted waterproof, and this is seventy dollars. So I only have thirty left."

"Works for me." Jensen headed over to the waterproof section and looked until he found a purple wand. "Here. It even says it's European. Everything from Europe is better."

"It's going to go over with tax."

"Tell Steve tax doesn't count. I always do."

"Okay." Lexi's eyes ran over the wall until she found a purple waterproof butt plug. "If you get this."

"It's purple. And there's a chick on the front." A guy had to have standards.

"It's big enough, and you can play in the shower. You're not going to see it when it's in you, anyway."

"Why would I play in the shower? We have communal showers. I'd have to be quiet." Eliza could pretty much testify that it wasn't his best skill.

"You could use it while Jared's in the next stall. You'd just have to be really quiet."

"That's really, really wrong."

"And now you totally want to do it."

"I hate you." Except that he loved her because she had the best ideas ever.

"Anyway, you have twenty-three dollars left. You can buy something manly with that." Lexi rolled her eyes and pulled him toward the section he normally went for. Not a single funny animal or pink or purple thing in sight.

"This is manly. And big." Lexi pulled a black probe with a battery pack off the wall. "Flexi-power rod? See, it even sounds manly."

"It's five dollars over my limit. Even if I tell Steve tax doesn't count." Really, he was thinking he might have to put the purple thing back because this looked really cool.

"You're not even trying? Come on. You can talk Steve into it. You know you want to use the other one next to Jared in the shower." Lexi smirked. It wasn't fair that she knew him so well.

Steve shrugged off Lexi's insistence that tax didn't count right away, but he raised an eyebrow at Jensen. "I know you can add. You're over budget without tax."

"It's not a lot." He could pout, too, dammit.

"I'm not letting you starve because you think you need sex toys."

"It's five dollars."

"Before tax, and you can't say tax doesn't count when you're already over," Steve insisted, but Jensen could see him cracking. He tried looking really disappointed, and Steve sighed. "If I let you get these, you promise me that you will not call Justin. Because you have new toys that will help you not want to call him."

Jensen rolled his eyes. Really, he hadn't seen Justin in three weeks. He should get some kind of reward-in the form of sex toys.

"I'll make you put one back," Steve said when he didn't answer.

"Man, I haven't seen him in three weeks. I'm just saying that this is stupid, is all, but fine. I promise not to call Justin."

"Or drive to his apartment."

"You know I wouldn't just show up without calling, but whatever. Yeah, I promise not to go to his apartment. Even though this is stupid because it's my money."

"Yeah, but it's going to be my food you're eating if you run out, and I'll let you starve."

~*~

"Remember back when you were in the closet? You were shy, and you tried to get us all to believe that you never got laid and wanted to date girls? You never talked about sex and hid all your toys at Pete's apartment? Can we go back to that?" Chris wrinkled his nose at the box of supplies on Jensen's bed, which weren't even his own. They had boundaries to preserve his sanity.

"Pete's apartment is really too far now. Besides, this shit's for the program. You think I'd buy stuff this cheap?"

"No. Steve said you spent almost sixty dollars on yourself. Really, man? How many different things do you need to stick up your ass?" Just for once, it would be nice if Steve could not talk to Chris so much. Not that Chris would bitch about the money, even if he was the one who had paid Jensen's rent last semester. "And that was not a real question. I really don't want to know."

"Then why do you always ask?"

"Just reminding you that you're a freak," Chris picked up the wooden penis the health center had sent over for the program. It had to be a girl who drew the smiley face on the head. Not to mention it was smaller than any dick he'd want to bother with. "So you're really going to stand in front of all the freshmen and show them how to use a condom?"

"The first time. Then Eliza's going to pick a volunteer."

"Is your boy gonna be there?"

"He's not my boy." It would be really nice if his friends didn't all pass around every single thing they found out about him. It was like he deprived them too long before, and now they might as well have a blog just so they'd know every last thing going on in his life.

"And yet you know exactly who I'm talking about. Is he going?"

"I don't know." Jared had shown up for the getting drunk half of the program the previous week with all the girls, but he'd been busy lately going to parties with the girls and Chad.

"Okay, you're pathetic. You're pouting, and you don't even know if he's going to show up or not."

"I'm not pouting."

"Yeah, you are, and I'm pretty sure I heard he was straight." Wonderful. Chris was getting that look again.

"He is. It's not a big deal, okay? He's nice to look at. That's all."

"You're sure about that?"

"Yeah. He's nothing special that I can't get over. He's a freshman. Give me a little more credit."

"So if he is there, you'll have no problem teaching him how to put the condom on Woody here?" Chris smirked and held up the wooden cock again. Jensen hated his friends.

~*~

"Mike. Almost the whole dorm is here." Why was it when he did some program about study habits, he had to knock on every door and beg Lexi to show up?

"Everyone knows you and Eliza are basically running the thing. What'd you expect?"

"It's about safer sex, not how to have it well." It really didn't help that Eliza was pretty much falling out of her halter top.

"You're just mad that out of everyone in the dorm, Jared isn't here."

"No. I'm just thinking that more of my own residents could have shown up. The girls aren't here, either."

"Brett and Brady are here."

"Yes. I'm so thrilled they came to get the free condoms. Less STDs around the frat house."

"I'm pretty sure that's the point we're going for, Jensen. Not for you to drool over Jared-who isn't even having sex, as far as we know. Which is good because if it wasn't with you, you might die."

"Can you stop telling everyone that? I'm not that bad." It had to be Mike relaying everything to Chris and Steve. Lexi wouldn't do that to him.

"One day, you guys will need this information. I know it's hard to believe now, but one day, you'll all get laid." Amanda's giggles filled the room before be could answer. Sandy followed behind, rolling her eyes.

"I don't need any help. We're here for free stuff and for Jared and Allie. So they don't put the condom on backwards the first time." Sandy laughed and pulled Jared along behind her. He laughed, but Jensen could see the blush travel over his cheeks as he ducked his head. His hair fell over his eyes, and Jensen wished it wouldn't be really out of line for him to walk over and push it back. He didn't realize he was staring until Mike pulled on his arm.

"Dude, it's no fun making fun of you for drooling if you're so busy drooling, you don't even hear me."

"I'm not drooling." That would just be gross.

"Fine. Staring longingly. Whatever. If you keep doing that, he'll figure it out."

He really wanted to hit Mike for that, but when he glanced up again, Amanda caught his eye and waved. They were stuck sitting near the back, at least, so he could try not to look at Jared when he talked about condoms and different types of lube.

"Come on. I served all the food. You get to talk first." Eliza pulled him to the first table in the front as she bit into a chocolate-covered strawberry. At least this part was easy-basic date rape prevention. He passed out coasters that tested drinks for drugs, and when he glanced at Jared, Jared was too busy making sure his girls took them to notice.

Eliza took over for all the girl stuff-birth control, weird girl vibrators that were supposed to be better than sex (bullshit), and really, he didn't need to know this shit, so he let his eyes wander over to Jared, who didn't even notice. Jensen would be grateful for some safe staring time if Jared wasn't so engrossed in Eliza. Eliza and her halter-top with her cleavage hanging out all over the place. Alexis was crazy. Jared sure as hell didn't need to know this shit, and his eyes weren't straying at all.

Shit. Sandy, of course, wasn't quite so taken with Eliza and smirked when she looked in his direction. He averted his eyes before he could remember that it would just make him look guilty.

"And now because really, he has twice as much experience, Jensen's going to tell you about condoms." Eliza elbowed him and grinned, holding up different condoms as he went over ribbed and lubed condoms and what kind of lube was safe for condoms. She even put one over her hand to prove that, no, no guy was too big for a condom. Maybe he could forgive her. It wasn't her fault Jared was straight, and she made it look like they actually planned out what they were going to do for this program instead of just sitting around talking about sex like they did.

"And because it would really suck if you only had one condom and couldn't have sex because you fucked it up, Jensen's going to show you how to put one on Woody here." Eliza handed him the wooden cock so he could demonstrate as she talked. "First, don't put it on backwards. You'll get pre-come on it, and then it's all spermy and you can't use it. Then you have to pinch the tip and roll it down the penis."

"And now he's ready to have sex," Jensen finished. "So who wants to give it a try?"

Jensen figured it was safe to look around, even though they'd agreed that Eliza would pull someone out of the crowd. He'd gotten to the point where he could stand in front of a crowd, but he still didn't want to walk out into the crowd and pick someone. Especially since no one was really going to volunteer themselves. Everyone just grabbed one of their friends and pushed up their hands against their will.

Including Jared's girls, who pushed his hand in the air even as he blushed and shook his head. That was when Eliza's head popped into his line of vision. Shit. She wouldn't. No, she would, because before he could do anything, she hooked her fingers in the waistband of Jared's jeans and started pulling him to the front.

Jared shook his head, and his cheeks were pink, but he shrugged and laughed as Eliza pulled him through the crowd to Jensen.

"You really don't have to do this," Jensen told him when Eliza left him to dig something out of her bag.

"It's okay." Jared was still blushing, but he shrugged. "As dorm humiliation goes, this isn't the worst."

"And because we really should give him the real experience, Woody really isn't going to do." Eliza stepped back next to Jared, holding a much more realistic dildo than Woody from the health center that she fucking handed to Jensen like it was no big deal. "Hold this for him. Where'd I put the condom? Oh! There it is."

Eliza smirked as she handed Jared the condom. She was evil, and one day, he was going to get her back for this. "Do you remember how? I'm sure if you don't, Jensen can walk you through it."

"I think I got it." Jared was still blushing, he rolled his eyes and gave Jensen a smile as he tore open the wrapper and pulled the condom out. Fuck. He couldn't get hard in front of the entire dorm. Amanda, at least, would notice. He had to think of other really not hot things, like baseball and girls and Chris. Chris with girls. That was a good one. Except that there wasn't a lot he could think of besides Jared's huge hands as he rolled the condom over the fake cock. His hand fucking circled the whole width and bumped against Jensen's at the base. Where the fuck did Jared learn to do this? Wasn't he supposed to be a virgin? Did he have sex with someone Jensen didn't hear about? No. The girls would find out, and Lexi would find out and tell him.

"Wow. Great job! And for being a great sport, he wins a free box of condoms and a bottle of lube," Eliza said. Jensen forced himself to smile with everyone else as he set the dildo aside and Jared took the items from Eliza. They agreed on the box of condoms. Eliza added a bottle of Jensen's favorite lube because she was fucking evil. Jared laughed and walked back to his friends as Mike announced that there were free condoms available for everyone and everyone should eat all the food because they had nowhere to store it.

"I hate you," Jensen said to Eliza as soon as no one was paying attention.

"You loved it."

"I'm leaving and making you clean everything up yourself."

"Because you can't get the image out of your head, and now you have to leave before everyone figures out how much that made you crazy?"

"Shut. Up."

"I'll clean up. You go jack off."

~*~

When he read Justin on his cell phone display, he could hear Chris cursing at him in his head, and he knew he shouldn't answer. Except that Justin always answered when he called or called him back as soon as he had a chance. Sure, he understood why Chris wanted him to just stop talking to Justin altogether, but Chris didn't understand why he didn't. Chris could try, but no matter how hard he tried, he'd never really understand what it was like. He'd never understand why someone would go to the lengths Justin had to keep his family and Jensen all at the same time. He'd never understand what it was like to fall into being with someone just because everyone else thought it was what you should do.

No, Chris would just think he couldn't let go and Justin would never change.

"Hey."

"Hey." Justin's answer was quiet, but he already knew something would be wrong. Justin only called when he was drunk or upset, and it was too early for the former.

"What's up?"

"Just wanted to call," Justin said because he couldn't say, I wanted to hear your voice.

"No reason?" Jensen asked, even though he wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"I… can I see you?" Justin didn't poke around for invites like Jensen always did. If he wanted something, he'd just come out and say it.

"Justin…" It was the same tone Justin used on him three weeks ago, and he wanted to say no, but he couldn't. "I don't have my keys."

He didn't tell Justin that the reason he didn't have his keys was that Chris took the keys to his truck after he found out Jensen went to see him before. Not that it would stop him if he was desperate, but he was broke, and he wasn't going to admit it so Justin would pay his cab fare.

"I can come to you." Justin never had any shame about missing him, and that might be why he always cracked.

"Yeah. Okay." Chris would kill him if he found out, but he'd gotten away clean once or twice, and Chris didn't really set foot in the dorm much.

"Yeah. I'm on campus. Forest Hall 611."

"You're back on campus?"

"Don't ask if you want to come over." The last thing he needed was to explain that being an RA gave him both discounted rent and work study, and that was the only way he could afford to finish school.

"Yeah, okay," Justin said, but there was something in his voice that told Jensen he knew anyway.

~*~

Jensen let Justin in the side door. There was still a chance Lexi would see them in the hall, but at least they wouldn't have to go past the office. Mike had already given everyone on staff a picture of Justin and made up some story about why they had to call if they ever saw him in the dorm.

It wasn't like a movie. He didn't pull Justin inside and kiss him against the wall in the stairwell. They nodded at each other and climbed the stairs side by side.

"Anyone see you?" He half expected someone to stop them in the stairwell and block Justin's entrance.

"Just some kid. Don't think he knew who I was."

Jensen nodded. At least he'd convinced Mike that distributing Justin's picture among the residents was fucked up.

"You think someone here would recognize me?"

"Mike and Lexi live here."

Justin nodded and stayed quiet as they walked down the hall. The last thing they needed was for Lexi to hear them and come storming out of her room. She'd cause a scene yelling at them both.

Jensen pushed open his door, and if Justin thought anything about the eight door tags declaring him an RA, he didn't comment as he followed Jensen inside.

Justin held Jensen's face in his hands as the door clicked closed, leaving Jensen blind as he fumbled with the lock on the door. His tongue pushed hard in Jensen's mouth, and Jensen pushed back. They didn't say I miss you or I love you. Jensen had always been shit for words like that, and he'd never seen the point anyway. Now it was better that they didn't say anything. Hearing the words from Justin's lips would only remind him that the words didn't really belong to him, and Justin said more with the way his hands rubbed over the back of Jensen's neck anyway.

"Justin…" Jensen said as he pulled back, Justin's hands on the back of his neck keeping him from moving more than an inch. He should stop this. He knew that.

"We can only have sex when you feel like shit?"

It was harsh, but he couldn't argue.

Justin sighed and pulled back. "Look, if you don't want to…"

Except that he did want to, so he shook his head and pulled Justin's lips back to his.

~*~

Jensen concentrated on the rapid beating of Justin's heart as he tried to get the energy to move. This was why he preferred Justin's bed, even if he hated that Justin would change the sheets as soon as he left. At least if the bed was bigger, he could roll off and pass out on the side. Because he wasn't a fucking girl, and he didn't need to snuggle and cuddle and shit. It was just that right now he was having some issues with his legs.

"How do you sleep in this bed?" Justin chuckled under him, and Jensen knew he was trying to lighten the mood, but fuck if he wanted to talk about why he was fucking stuck sleeping in this tiny bed in a fucking closet of a room keeping track of a bunch of lowerclassmen-who, okay, he really didn't mind so much as he thought he would.

"It's not that bad." Jensen shrugged as he sat up.

"Hey. Sorry. I shouldn't try to be funny after that. You know I can't think straight after sex." Justin's hands grazed over his hips, but Jensen brushed them off as he climbed off Justin and stood.

"Jensen." He could hear Justin sitting up behind him, but he still tensed when Justin stepped behind him and pressed against his back.

"I know you have to go."

"I don't have to go yet." Justin kissed down his neck, and his arms wrapped around Jensen's chest. Fuck, he just wanted to give in. But what good would that do? Put off Justin leaving until the morning so they could cram into his stupid twin bed?

"Not unless you're really staying this time. Not unless you're choosing me."

"You know I can't do that." Justin sighed and started to pull away, leaving Jensen enough room to turn and face him.

"Why? You don't have to say why. No one has to know you're with me."

"I can't just leave her."

"Why? You're not in love with her." He doesn't bother to say, you're in love with me.

"It's more complicated than that."

"No, it's not. I get that you've been with her a long time, but she's gotta know something isn't right. You don't have to come out. You don't. I wouldn't ever make you."

"And I'd just pretend I was single forever?"

"You'd rather pretend you're straight forever?" It's harsh, and he gets that, but hell, it's not as bad as faking it with some girl. When Justin doesn't answer, he just sighs and steps away. "Just go. I can't do this shit anymore."

"Jensen."

"I mean it. I won't call you anymore. You don't call me. I'm sick of asking you. I'm really fucking sick of hearing you say no. It's not fucking worth it. Just go."

He could hear Justin getting dressed behind him, but he didn't turn until Justin pulled him around with a hand on his shoulder. Justin leaned down and kissed him hard until Jensen turned his face away. "Just go."

Justin let him go, and he didn't look up until the door slammed closed.

~*~

Jensen was still getting dressed when there was a knock on the door, but he ignored it. He wasn't on call. They could make Eliza do some work. Of course, this just made the person knock louder.

"Jensen? You have to help me! Jared's pissed at me again, and so Allie's pissed at me, too! She threw me out of the room without my keys, and she's throwing all my stuff out the window! Right now, it's just my clothes, but she's bound to get to the expensive stuff soon, and you know I really can't afford a new computer," Lexi yelled through the door. Shit. Didn't she know to stay away from Jared? She had to be massively drunk to try something again. But she was still one of his best friends, and she'd always bailed him out, so he cracked open the door.

"Lexi, what the hell did you do?" he asked. She'd already slipped her arm inside before he noticed she wasn't really freaking out at all.

"What the hell did he do to you this time?"

"Ah, fuck." He couldn't push her away literally, so he gave up and let her in.

"Oh, fuck. The room smells like sex. You let him fuck you again. Dammit, Jensen!" Lexi scrunched up her nose and glared.

"Thank you. That's really helpful." Jensen sighed and fell back on the bed. Fuck, it still smelled like Justin.

"Okay, I'm not getting on the bed you just fucked on." Lexi pulled sheets out of the drawers under his bed before pulling at his arm to get him up. "Come on, I'll change the sheets for you. It's not going to do you any good to smell him all night. You're just going to dwell on it, and I'll have to sleep on the couch."

He nodded and let her pull him over to the couch. If he admitted that he wanted to just sleep on those sheets by himself, she wouldn't let him anyway.

"What'd you fight about?" Lexi asked as she pulled the dirty sheets off the bed and threw them in the hamper.

"We didn't really fight."

"Then why was he so pissed off when he was leaving?"

"You saw him?"

"Yeah. And he was seriously pissed off, not just pouty and depressed like he usually is, so what happened?" Lexi stopped what she was doing and turned to look at him.

"I told him I couldn't do this anymore if he wasn't going to pick me."

"After you had sex? Please tell me there was some down time between the sex and kicking him out like a cheap whore?"

"He's the one who has a girlfriend!" It wasn't fair. Lexi was supposed to be his friend, even though that was only because Justin made her choose.

"Yes. I know. But come on. You didn't just come to this decision today. You've been saying you were ready to move on. If you had to have sex with him one more time, you should have told him that was what it was."

"It wasn't like that. He called me, and he wanted to. Then after…" It wasn't like he tried to be an asshole.

"Okay. Fair enough." Lexi sighed and went back to making the bed. "Are you going to stick to it this time, or are you going to cave in a few weeks and call him? I'm surprised he even believed you. I know you've really been seeing him for the last three months. We all do. We're not stupid."

"I know. But I'm finished now. Really." Jensen looked up as Lexi turned and studied him. When she nodded, he figured a subject change was safe. "So why were you in the lounge anyway? I thought you were going to fuck Tom?"

"I was helping Jared study for trig." Her lips slipped into a smile, and she turned away to hide it.

"Jared's talking to you again?"

"Only because you stood him up to fuck Justin, and he was desperate for someone who knew trig." Lexi tried for a glare, but he could see the smile slipping on her face. "Okay, fine, I'm happy Jared's talking to me again, but your priorities still suck."

"I didn't know he needed help. I thought he just wanted to hang out or something." He really was a shitty RA.

"I know. Hey, it wasn't a big deal, and now we're friends. He's not mad at you, so don't freak out. Well, I think he's worried about you, but he's fine."

"Why would he be worried? Did you tell him something?" He was going to kill her if she spilled the whole story to Jared.

"No, but he was there when I ran into Justin. I just taught him eight weeks of trig in two hours. I'm pretty sure if he can do that, he can figure some stuff out himself." Lexi threw the blanket on the bed as she finished and sat next to him on the couch.

"Fuck. I don't need this shit." It was bad enough without the whole dorm knowing about his big gay drama.

"He was the only one there, and he said he wouldn't tell anyone. It's fine."

"Did it have to be him?" He groaned as he let Lexi pull him up and pushed him toward the bed. The sheets smelled like the cheap laundry detergent he borrowed from Mike. Not Justin.

"Because you still have a crush on him? Yes. Because if you'd done the right thing and ignored Justin and not told him where you lived, Jared wouldn't know, and you would have hung out with him instead. Next time, you'll have better judgment." He really should make Lexi sleep in her own bed for that.

"And that would do how much good when he's straight?"

"You know, I'm not so sure about that. He got pretty pissed off at the idea that Justin hurt you."

"Now is not the time to get my hopes up for no reason." He sighed and breathed in coconut shampoo. It wasn't Justin, but it was better than nothing.

~*~

To: Jensen
From: Pete
Subject: Love you

I know you're not going to answer this because it would kill you admit you actually had emotions. But I'm proud of you, baby. Stick with it this time, Jenny. It's not going to suck forever.

~*~

"You're not here to borrow a book. Lexi's only been gone an hour. I know she called you." Jensen only let Chris in because he was too tired to kick him out.

"Yeah, well, you can fucking suck it up. You told him where you lived, and you promised you wouldn't. You've been seeing him no matter what we do. If you say you're ending it again, I'm sure as hell making sure you don't change your mind again." Chris glared and stood just inside the door, his eyes daring Jensen to argue. "So we can fight about this until I win, or we can pretend I'm here to borrow a book and hang out."

"Fine." Jensen didn't have the energy to fight him anyway.

"Steve's pissed at you," Chris said as he opened the case for Grand Theft Auto and put it in the Xbox.

"Figured as much." It was a stupid promise, and he'd made it three more weeks, but Steve would still take it personally.

"Yeah, well, one day you better pay him back for all the shit he's tried to do to help you with that asshole. I'm not stupid. I know he's lied to me for you, just haven't always figured out the details."

"You done?" Jensen didn't need Chris to make him feel like shit about Steve any more than he needed his friends to babysit him.

"Yeah. For now," Chris said as he handed him the other controller and started the game.

"So how long do I have to put up with your ass?"

"Until you get to class. You have organic II, and I know you're too anal to skip it."

"Until I get to class? You are not fucking walking me to class."

"I have a meeting in that direction."

"Bullshit."

"If you're going to give me shit, I'll just call Steve and get him to do it," Chris said, which really wasn't fair, because he knew Jensen would put off facing Steve until Steve showed up and forced it.

"Fine. But if we run into any hot girls, I'm telling them my boyfriend is walking me to class."

~*~

Read Part two of six of The One Where Jensen Is A Man Whore (Until He Meets Jared) by Aleia