She lay her head down onto his pillow and took a deep breath inhaling his scent of spice and sweat deeply until it was all that she was aware of. She tried to ignore the heavy feeling in her chest knowing that it was the loss of him causing it. They didn't get much time to spend together. He had many commitments… family, friends, work, wife all of which came before her. It was something that she both accepted and understood. She had known her place in his life from the start as he was not the kind of man to make false promises.

He'd never led her to believe that they would ever be anything more than what they were and it was her own foolish fault for wishing for anything different. She had tried to stop herself, but like a moth drawn to the light she was incapable of resisting him. When they were together she wished their time would never end and when they were apart she only wished that they were together again.

Closing her eyes she thought about the last time he'd been in her bed. She remembered his hands running down her body to rest on her hips as his lips wrapped around one of her nipples. Her hands had gripped his arms holding on as her back arched seeking more of what his mouth was offering. As the memory continued, she gripped his pillow as the tears began to run down her face. She recalled the feeling of him filling her up so completely as she came screaming his name.

She woke up the next morning with his name on her lips still clutching his pillow and couldn't remember falling asleep. Pulling herself out of the bed she rummaged through her drawers and ended up pulling on a t-shirt and a pair of his boxers he had left once upon a time. She made her way to the kitchen pouring herself a glass of orange juice and made a bagel with cream cheese and salmon to go with it. She tried to not look at the coffee maker sitting empty awaiting him to come and use it again. Moving to sit at the table she curled up in a chair even though she felt it was very uncomfortable without his lap underneath her.

As she made her way through her day watering her plants, going to the grocery and running her other errands, she tried not to think about him, but couldn't make herself stop. As she pushed her cart down the various isles of the grocery store it occurred to her that it was that look in his eyes as he was leaving her the last time that haunted her. He was a big tough man, the announcers on the television during Raw always called him a monster, so looking into those brown eyes and seeing the pain and despair there was something that was not easily forgotten.

He was a proud man and, while she would never claim that he was a perfect one, she would say that he was a damn good man, who up until her had been entirely faithful to his wedding vows. She knew this because her brother Travis, now a wrestler as well known as Tyson Tomko, had known her man for years and thus through him she had known her love as well. She'd heard the stories of his home life. She knew that he had been miserable long before she entered the picture. Se also knew that her relationship with him, while being his first, was not the first unfaithful moment in the couple's relationship. The stay at home wife with no children took plenty of advantage of her time alone.

Often she would see the wife out at night in the club she sometimes worked at and always would she see the woman kissing on any man she could find willing, often leaving with a different one each night. She'd never told him what his wife was doing behind his back, although one night she invited her brother into the club knowing that he would see the wife in action. She had never asked what he did about it knowing that her own relationship was a slight sore spot between them and just hoped that he had not kept it to himself.

She supposed that she should feel some kind of guilt over what she was doing with a married man, but she didn't. The wife's indiscretions helped and the peace on his face while he was with her made up for the rest. Their time together might be short and far between, but they were happy moments filled with love both given and received equally. She loved her man and knew well that he loved her in return for he told her often both in his actions and in words. She believed in her heart that they were meant to be together. There was no reason to deny it any longer or pretend that it didn't exist.

After unloading the car she took her time putting things away. There was no need to rush after all. While she never knew quite when to expect him, this was Friday and because of work she never saw him on the weekend. After the groceries were all put away, she stood at the counter looking through her cookbook for dinner ideas. Her CD player blared Bon Jovi and the lyrics of one particular song seemed to echo her heart perfectly. Closing her eyes she sang along swaying to the beat.

You want commitment
Take a look into these eyes
They burn with fire, yeah
Until the end of time
I would do anything
I'd beg, I'd steal, I'd die
To have you in these arms tonight
Baby I want you like the roses
Want the rain
You know I need you
Like a poet needs the pain
I would give anything
My blood my love my life


If you were in these arms tonight
I'd hold ya
I'd need ya
I'd get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms
I'd love ya
I'd please ya
I'd tell you that I'd never leave ya
And love you till the end of time
If you were in these arms tonight


We stared at the sun
And we made a promise
A promise this world would never blind us
These were our words
Our words were our songs
Our songs are our prayers
These prayers keep me strong
And I still believe
If you were in these arms


I'd hold ya
I'd need ya
I'd get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms
I'd love ya
I'd please ya
I'd tell you that I'd never leave ya
And love you till the end of time
If you were in these arms tonight


Your clothes are still scatteder
All over our room
This old place still smells like
Your cheap perfume
Everything here reminds me of you
And there's nothing that I wouldn't do


And these were our words
They keep me strong, baby
I'd hold ya
I'd need ya
I'd get down on my knees for you
And make everything alright
If you were in these arms
I'd love ya
I'd please ya
I'd tell you that I'd never leave ya
And love you till the end of time
If you were in these arms tonight


If you were in these arms tonight
If you were in these arms tonight
Like the roses need the rain
Like the seasons need the change
Like the poet needs the pain
I need you in these arms tonight



"You take my breath away." She heard the deep rumbly voice say and jumped then turned to see him standing there in her kitchen door with roses in one hand. Rushing to him she ran her hands over his face, chest and arms ensuring herself that it was really him and not some beautiful hallucination. As her hands rested on familiar tattoos, she looked up at him with tears in her eyes. "Why? How? Shouldn't you be working?"

He shook his head watching her with a joy that she had not seen in a long while. It was as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. "I had to be in court yesterday and Paul gave me the week off. I don't have to appear 'til next Friday."

Confused she opened her mouth to ask what he was doing in court when a hand appeared in front of her face. Long familiar fingers that had touched every inch of her body wiggled, but it was one solitary finger that stood out because of the pale ring around it where a wedding band usually rested. "I divorced her. It was official yesterday. I love you. I need you. I want to spend forever with you."

She found herself unable to speak so she simply nodded against his chest. She'd never expected this moment to really happen although she had dreamed about it a million times most often trying to forget she had done it. Never once though had she expected it to come true. It seemed though that if you lived your life as best you could, loving as best as you could, and forgiving the best you could that maybe sometimes dreams did really come true. She for one was glad they did and would spend the rest of her life grateful for it.

The End!